uGGGG..... & tHeN..

Not to sure what to do with Luka.  It is frustrating.  It is highly frustrating.  He keeps getting sick.  I guess we will have to take him in and add to the compounding vet bill.  Geesh..  It breaks my heart.  I keep trying to find ways to keep him healthy and happy, so he can continue to be with me as long as possible.  Ugg.

I am sure we will figure something out, I have a very smart vet.

My anxiety level is high today.. I can feel my heart just pounding... I am feeling a bit neurotic.  I am trying to be calm.  Trying to relax.  I don't know if it was the loud noise that Luka and I heard today or what.  But I am very edgy and feeling quite anxious and irritable.  Just Breathe.. Just Breathe..  I need to find something to zone out on..   This is not doing the trick.

~~~
Things are better.. it just takes time.  Isn't that so true.

I am watching Extreme Home Makeover..  It is a really great show tonight.  It really speaks to me.  I don't talk about this much.  In fact it has been really hard to talk about this since my accident. 

To top it off Jason is adopted.  These people, along with his parents, people I've know from my childhood, and friends who have adopted kids are all very special in my heart.  I've learned by example from people in my life, and many many of my friends were also adopted.  It is always something I thought I would be able to do some day. 

When I imagined my 40's I thought they would be filled with people that I loved and who loved me.  I do have some of that, but I quite honestly imagined I would be able to give more back to others, and have more people in my life.  I feel the exact opposite of that.

That is all I am going to say on the subject.  It is just hard.
Sorry no picture this time..  Soon!



I love this!  This would make a great gift!

This is also neat!  It would make someone else a great gift!

How cute is this!

Chique!


I did enjoy looking at these things.  They all popped up on the recently listed items section..


So I had finished this post and I am now returning to it.  I just had an uncanny conversation with a friend of mine whom I have never met, but non the less she has been an important part of my thoughts.  She and I talked about allot of what I had just wrote and more.  I needed that.  I wrote before about how it is nice to let people know that you are thinking of them.  It really is.

Someone just did that for me.  She almost read my mind.  I hope we will be able to go to Joel Osteen's church service together sometime.  I look forward to the day we will meet. 

At any rate, it is hard for me some days to be optimistic.  I really do try.  I don't mean to not be.  It is just hard.  Holidays are.  Especially when you feel alone. 

She blessed me today!  I am grateful for wonderful people in my life!  My heart is full.

Blessings,
Pink Doberman

OnE mOrE DaY.

Things are better and better.  I guess a big storm system blew through.. Although we did not get much of it here I must have been feeling it.  I am doing so much better just exhausted now!  Thank God!  Easter weekend should be just beautiful!  I hope it is for everyone. 

Things are pretty calm around here these days.  I am happy with that I guess. 

We have friends with a new baby!  That is divine!  Another who is doing well after having brain surgery.  Several friends being thought of this week who have kids with Autism.  A cousin who has kids with Traumatic Brain Injury who has just closed on a house they will be fixing up.  Another friend who had a fire in her home is her new roof on her house this week, another who is going through a traumatic divorce.  Four weddings coming up.. life is amazing. 

Birds are beautiful..

Friends with birthdays, others who are finding jobs, one who has survived cancer, another who has had a foster daughter change her name to include hers.  Some other friends are dealing with the loss of their mother or father.   I am also sure there are more whom I am sure are going through something whether it be exciting, traumatic, or normal that I have not heard from.  Life moves on it takes turns, and will always come to an end. 

I personally like living in the dashes.  The things in between birth and death.  I really like all that people can cram in that little tiny dash.  A person from the town in which I live is headed back to the space shuttle!  How cool is that!  Clay Anderson will be making his second trip in to space.  Talk about a person who never gives up.  While I have met him, (most people in town have if they wanted to)  I knew his mom.  She was an amazing person herself.  PBS did a special on him as well!  Here is his Wiki Profile..  You can even follow him on Twitter! 

It is official, Luka has some sort of upset tummy, he has now thrown up three times.  He is going to have to stay at home for a few days, not that we've gone anywhere recently any how.  But I was hoping to.  We will just have to see how that is all going to work out. 




Some more Etsy things..

This is beautiful!  Very stylish!

How adorable for someones little girl! 

Reminders of my childhood.   It is truly amazing what you can find on Etsy!   

Excited about some things coming up.  It is nice to have things to look forward to.  Even if they are simple!

Hope you are looking forward to something!  I am... I am looking forward to some Peeps and Malted Milk Eggs!

Blessings,
Pink Doberman

ThE iNtErViEw... Alicia Myers from 10/11 News in Lincoln NE ... LB858

I fixed the bad links below. 
Thanks for letting me know they were bad!  Sorry they were. =)

~
 Click to see:
The Official 10/11 News Interview with Alicia Myers Click Here!

Click on Service Dog Rights Part 1

Check it out!  Anchor/Reporter Alicia Myers did an amazing job!

                        I can't wait to see Part 2 tomorrow night!

Our story even made the Headline Page!  How cool is that!  10/11 News Rocks!

See some pictures that Jason took from the interview!  He managed to avoid the video camera completely!

 

 

 

  

What do you think?  Put your comment's on Channel 10/11's site, and don't forget to add your opinion to their poll!  CLICK HERE!  I fixed this link also I think.. Give it a try!

I also had my mother's bracelet on and was fortunate to have Jason there with me.  I wanted to be wearing things that meant allot to me for the interview!  Makes me feel like they are all there with me.

Anyhoo...

I'd love to have you post your thoughts on the Channel 10/11 web page.  You are welcome to also post them here!  But please support this news station for taking such a positive approach to helping others!

Senator Kate Sullivan please give her kudo's as well!  

I have her information listed a few posts back!  

Cheer her on and support her as she gears up for round two of this legislation!  

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

NeW dOoRs!

I got a gardening book in the mail today.  I have read page one and two.  That's about as fast as I go these days.  I hope to check out three and four in a bit.  I used to wonder how all of those TV infomercials and things that come in the mail worked.  I mean who actually bought that stuff. 

I now know, it is people like me, who find it difficult to get out and see what the rest of the world can see easily and regularly as they choose.  Ha!  An answer to another life long question.  =)!

I love catalogs, I rarely order, but I do grab my permanent marker and circle everything I love!  Makes me feel like I have gone shopping.  I do miss grabbing the fabric of a shirt through my fingers to see how it feels, or picking the hanger up an holding it in front of me to actually get a different perspective.  What I miss most is trying the varying styles, colors and outfits on before leaving the store.  Spending hours just looking or trying things on.  I loved that! 

Now, my favorite place to shop is at thrift stores.  I just grab everything in my size toss it into a cart and check out.  I then try it all on at my leisure at home and can return what doesn't work.  Hey, it works!  I still get to test it all out!  Now that I know what I like and what looks better than others, it has become even easier. 

My creativity is hard at work as well to discover what goes good together.  Styles from the past still work today!  You just have to know how to put things together.  I found out that after spending years in bed and not going out at all except to Dr's offices.  That my style was dated.  My makeup style was dated, and so was my style for choosing clothing.  I am not sure that it is still much better.  I feel that I missed out on a whole bunch of different styles.  And besides having to get a whole new wardrobe from thrift stores, because I had gone down in size 12 whole sizes proved to be an expensive venture, even at thrift store prices!  Good news, I am figuring it all out! 

I still have to rid my closet of things that make me look as if I were 12 years old.  Ha!  But, I really love wearing clothes that I would have never dreamed of wearing before.  So if you see me in something age inappropriate, just smile and know I will be tired of it soon!  But give a girl a chance to express herself before she sends those things back to the thrift store. 

I've got several friends who are also loosing!  Some are doing it the way I did!  Others are doing it differently!  I think it is great to find what works for you!  One friends Blood Pressure has gotten into normal ranges with the loss of 7 pounds!  Another has lost 10-15 and hopes to find hers lowered as well soon.  One more is fitting into clothes from her past!  She has been just loving it!  Yet another keeps shrinking little by little and is using it as an opportunity to spice up her wardrobe with new things!  Fun Fun Fun! 

I am so excited for everyone!  I am also excited for me!  As you know if you've been following my journey that I didn't start with my program to loose weight I started it for the vitamins to get my bones stronger, and follow the Dr's recommendations.  Side benefit of the program I chose was loosing weight!  Yippee!!  Size 16 to a size 2!  Yeeeks!! 

As an additional perk along with some basic Physical Therapy, some help from Luka my Service Dog who tells me prior to my getting one type of my migraines caused from weather and movement, and being on a regular vitamin and cleansing regimen the severity of my migraines has decreased substantially!  I still get them about half as frequently or so.. weather has allot to do with that I think, and I am learning what I can and can't do more with therapy so I don't cause more.  At any rate the severity has decreased abundantly!  Woot Woot Woot!  I had inklings of this last year!  I dared not say anything for fear that it was just seasonal. 

I've been holding out on sharing because I wanted it to be a reality not just a happy thought!  I have made almost no migraine trips to the er!  Woot!!  I have had a few.  But amazingly and wonderfully my body is making progress!  < Mental Happy Dance Inserted Here =) >  Rarely do I actually get up and wiggle! 

I told myself, "Self, give it the winter, decide in the spring about how excited you should actually be."  Well, it isn't quite spring.  But in light of all that is happening and the 40 Degree weather... I am imagining it to be just around the corner. 

Thus the gardening book as well! 

Now if only the regular daily problems that I face and have would be improved.  I did have a great day yesterday.  Interesting and everything. 

I had my regular massage therapy appointment.  Now really understand that going to the therapist that I see is not one of those pleasurable experiences.  He isn't one of the phooo foo massage therapists, that heats up rocks and oils and has relaxing scents floating in the air.  It isn't lush or fancy it is work.  Work on his part the guy who does the Neuromuscular Massage as well as work on mine.   This is a painful type of massage it is good pain, but you aren't necessarily filled with energy or renewed afterward.  What I notice is a great sense of deep pain relief.  I am able to get in and out of the jeep easier, I can hold myself up straighter and I can sit for longer. 

I have to hold back the tears many day.  Hold back the cries for the therapy to stop.  I just focus on breathing to get through it each week.  It hurts, but the short amount of time he works on me will give me relief for much longer.  The pain is good pain, the relief comes at a price.  It is one of the least invasive and healthiest ways I can get some relief. 

Pills don't take away the pain they just hide it.  Getting this done each week, brings back the blood flow to my arms, makes it possible to move and hold my head up stops or reduces the sciatic pain.  For me it is a necessary evil.  =) I say this with a bit of humor, as my therapist is so not evil. 

This type of massage isn't the one that you want to get if you want to feel like you've just gone to heaven and you feel all floaty and dreamy.  Before my auto accident I used to go for those!  Ahhh!  I remember the days!   < Dreaming>  Dream over..

Find out more about this type of therapy.  Click Here

My particular massage therapist is the best I have ever been to.  I will tell you more soon I promise. 

Well, I did read a couple more pages in my gardening book.  Which I think will help me choose what to plant.  I had hoped to get to the library, but the library here in town is tiny and has absolutely no good place for me to be.  Which is frustrating because I grew up going to the library!  My mom worked at one and so did my mother in law.  My sister having told me about her library (the one I grew up using) shared that she could access her's online.  I don't think mine has that option.  I have looked online.  Grrr. 

So I am now reduced to doing what so many others must do.  Take advantage of those crazy things that come in the mail.  Use the internet to buy things and order from catalogs instead of stores.  Not horrible for sure.  Much preferred to my anxiety of going new places.  With out a doubt it is a much better option as well, as Jason hates to shop. 

I love to lollygag and look at everything that is new.  Go down isles, look touch and peruse.  He is a man on a mission.  Really these days that is the way it works for me to.  I most of the time don't have the energy to cruise the entire store. 

With my Physical Therapy, I have really focused on walking enough with the crummy weather this winter, consistent snow and ice this has presented a problem for me.  We did get a tread mill for $50 from Craigslist.  I have a feeling the $50 would have been better spent on snow melt.  The darn thing hardly works.  Jason would rather I not hop on.  If he does well the darn thing just won't move.  And the noise!  Yia Yie Eie..  it really is sadly comical =).

So, that hasn't been the best investment.  This spring and summer when people once again don't want theirs maybe we can find something better.  I am finally feeling able to be walking again anyway.  The weather thankfully may even be cooperating!  I am sure thankful for that!

Luka is resting here with me today.  We are both tired from yesterday.  My old guy really needs som good weather too!is still doing well at not aggravating his allergy sores.  Thank goodness, soon hopefully with vigilance he will be thoroughly healed! 

Yesterday, after the therapy appointment, we were interviewed!  Yep!  Interviewed!  About LB858!  I will be sharing more about this soon too!  Allot more.  That is all that I will be saying for now.

There is more but it will have to wait.  It is taking me forever to write today.

Blessings and new doors to new places!
Pink Doberman

TwEnTy TeN!!!

Keeping busy.  The start of Twenty Ten brings hope for me.  I have been working on being more steady.  More regular at what I can do. 

Examining what I am capable of and when.  In my life I have done many things.  More I suppose than almost everyone my age.  The diversity of my background, skills, talents and experience is quite broad.  Having been in 4-H as a child, having grown up on a farm, enrolling in agriculture classes, music classes, and art classes… I definitely have broader interests than most.

At the same time running three businesses of my own, one of them being an international business brought a whole new gamete of possibilities for my future.  I enjoy all that I know, and all that I have done. 

Many things I will never do again, and would aspire to never do them again, such as working cattle, or taking care of livestock in the winter.  Other things I enjoyed for sure.

These days have been spent thinking of where I can go from here.  I am not reliable health wise.  But working around that, there are plenty of things I can do.  But what…

Even when medicated I am able to write, and edit photos or create digital art on the computer.  I haven’t ever been taught any of these things, I have just been making it up as I go.  I guess the more you do of these things, trial and error wise, the more you learn and can eventually do.

Now in my other areas, I can not do math dependably medicated.  I can not drive medicated, or in pain for that matter.  So anything that involves those two things needs to be forgotten about for now. 

So, with Jason taking more and more pictures.  Most of them still of me, although we are getting more and more willing photo victims lined up! 

Jason has already photographed a family of 4 children, and another family of all grown boys.  I think the 4 little children may have been easier than capturing the grumpy grown boys…  MEN.. geesh! 

He also is making a list of others who have mentioned that they want him to do their pictures too!  FANTASTIC!

I can help with the pictures, that is fun for me.  I  used to help with wedding photo’s all of the time with my business.  After the accident I wasn’t reliable enough to do it any longer.  Brides are kind of picky about people not following through..

So this is giving me another avenue of doing what I used to do, but in a different way.  More fulfilling actually, since I get to do it with Jason, and it is developing his skills as a photographer as well as doing something special for others.

Right now he isn’t doing this for a business.  We have quite the interesting set up, it is working but the real stuff would work simpler and better.  He is taking pictures of everyone for FREE!  Yea!  For practice, and hopefully some of these folks will even let their pictures be shown in his portfolio.  It is always good to ask permission, some people are funny about their picture being shown off… and we want them to be happy of course.

Eventually Jason would like to turn this hobby into a business.  How this will work, we aren’t exactly sure, but since I can do most of the things related to this even while medicated it should work well.  And all of our photo victims know what is going on with me health wise and are very understanding which is also wonderful.

So if you’d like to get your picture taken, let us know!  He will take pictures, then I will do some photo art to the pictures, and we will give you a CD that you can take and get pictures printed from to share with your family and friends. 

Yea!  Good experience for us, and hopefully fun for you!

 

So that has been one of the projects we’ve been working on lately.  It is something that I found a long time ago that I was good at.  It is something for Jason and I to actually work together.  I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut and letting him do his thing..  He has a hard time letting me do my thing sometimes too… but he is so much more patient than I am.   Thank goodness!

I will start posting more pictures soon I promise.  I am just not quite ready to yet. 

He has been practicing taking pictures of me.  Most of the time when I am feeling well and ready to “perform” for the camera, sit still and look cute…  I do manage to get quite a few sour expressions as well…   I am getting better at posing too, which I hope will help me set other people up for their poses. 

I will probably share a few of me at lesser moments too, it is only fair to share the whole realistic experience.  I need my Mary Kay, let’s just be clear about that!  With out it and with out my feeling my best I don’t look very fun to take pictures of.  Thank goodness for all of my makeup experience!  It is really coming in handy.

Oh, that is something fun too!  We can do your makeup before you get shot too!  I have yet to do that, or tell anyone about that option.  I have just been wanting to make it through the shoots with Jason.  As he improves setting people up for their pictures, I will do more of the pre stuff.  I get pretty tired doing these things so I definitely have to pace myself so I do not end up in bed for weeks…

Well, that’s what I am excited about these days, well, that and a whole lot more.  I can’t stand being bored.  If I must be “locked” inside our house for the winter, I will at least be doing what I can to stay occupied. 

This is my best winter so far since the accident!  YEA!  I am learning how to live with my new problems.  Hopefully I will keep improving!  Gotta keep working at it that is for sure!

Happy Twenty Ten!  I have some hope again! 

Blessings,

Tonja

oK … yOu!

I am ok, you, get with the program!  This is something in one way or another I keep on telling myself.  Get on track stay on track, get it done, work on it now, so you’re not late!  Sometimes I am late anyway.

But this week, most of it which I can’t remember right now, I worked on setting myself up to be successful.

I plan for everything now.  It all takes extra time and effort.  It is worth it.

I am getting faster at things!  Which is a relief all unto its own. 

Oh, yea!  I had Physical Therapy this week!  My body finally got the latest exercise right!  I think 1/2 of my problem is that I don’t know how to control my muscles anymore, which should do what and which should do the other.  It isn’t something that just works for me.  I find I do things like walking one way, but that way causes pain… the right way well I haven’t completely got that one figured out, but the right way shouldn’t cause pain.  But I guess this is what all of these years in bed has done to me. 

So at therapy, my body got moving my legs right!  In one area!  Oh my it made such a difference!  I am looking forward to repeating it, I felt a significant difference after my work.  Not perfect but WOW!  BETTER!  Better is better!  I will definitely take better!

It has been a great week!  I was even able to host a party!  We had about 1/2 of the folks attend who RSVP’d which turned out just great!  It was so much fun to have people in my space.  I am not miss social like I was, but wow, I had a great time.  I missed having the energy to sit and talk with each person.  I did manage to get a welcome and a thanks for coming to most everyone though, I was able to participate, and keep things like food doing well.  Jason was the real host!  Quite the switch!  Not that he’s not been capable of that but I’d always taken the lead before.  He even went so far as to walk most everyone out! 

He cleaned like a maniac all day and even worked on it prior to that day as well.  Taking me grocery shopping and patiently waiting while I did all that I could do and then he’d finish up the rest.  He’s just been so great!  THANKS BUNCHES BABE!

Now today, I slept almost all of it or hopped on the computer, then slept, watched a football game, and slept through it a bit too.  I got up about 6 or so fed the boys, they’d been so good sleeping with me!  I’d been in quite allot of pain and could hardly move, I managed to get rid of the migraine I had, the clue I couldn’t see when I woke up was a definite give away today!  I had thought I might need a little rest after my busy day yesterday, I think tomorrow will be better, but wow, writing this I am so tired again as well.  It was so worth it!  I miss seeing people, I miss entertaining! 

I used to do a party every week!  I was never the best party thrower, but I had a great time, and so did the MK gals that came!  While last night wasn’t a MK party, it was just something for our friends.  It was wonderful.  I do one tomorrow again if I could, but I don’t think my body will be thinking the same thing.  Maybe soon! 

Jason even had a great time, I think he was initially mad at me for inviting people over.  He hates that our house isn’t perfect, that we have so many issues that need fixed.  He doesn’t feel good about sharing our unfinished home with others.  He is a perfectionist.  The fact that we don’t have a “REAL” floor covering in his mind, or that people have to enter our home through the garage because we have no front steps…

My take on it is exactly the opposite.  We live where we live if they don’t like it they don’t have to come over!  We are not where we live!  I won’t apologize for something I can’t do anything about!  When I can’ do something about it I will, but I am not letting that stop me from having people in our lives and in our home. 

He had fun!  He really did!  He did the best job ever!  It was wonderful to see him so happy!  I know that he made others feel great also!  We are going to do it again!  It won’t be for a little while, we deserve it and so do our friends!  A little fun with friends makes the bad stuff disappear!  He may even end up loving his new role as host!

My life is getting better and better!

Blessings and grateful thoughts!  I am going to take another Apple Cider Vinegar bath now and go back to sleep, the few hours I’ve been up have made me exhausted again.  And I’ve got party to clean up for tomorrow!  Yes it can wait yet another day!  HUGS!

AmAziNg GrAcE

As I seem to have taken another break from posting.  I have actually been trying to write, but the last few things I have managed to get out of my head, were just not appropriate to share. 

I was informed last night before Jason fell to sleep that I hadn’t been doing my part about keeping him informed about what was going on with me.  He pointed out that my last post was well, a while ago. 

Things have actually been going pretty well.  I have noticed an improvement in how my neck has been feeling.  One day a few weeks ago while at my Massage Therapy appointment, I noticed a marked improvement.   I hadn’t really told anyone about it as I didn’t know how long it would last.  I still seem to be feeling better from it.  While not perfect, the daily pain is still here, but it isn’t quite as bad.  Something changed during that appointment.  I am not sure what.  But it made a significant difference.  Things just haven’t been as severe pain wise. 

I am so happy for that.  But with my decrease in neck pain, I have increased my activity some.  Ok, so it isn’t much, because I still FEEL my neck pain significantly.  But I am not holding my head as much when I bend over!  That means I can have two hands!  YEA! 

Hey people that is a big deal!  Yes, on the days where the migraine’s are present, I am holding my head.  My migraines are not quite as bad now either!  That is another thing I noticed.  Woot!  Woot!  I am using less medication to get rid of them!  I will take it! 

I couldn’t drive today, the pain is to bad to be behind the wheel of the car.  But I am resting then typing then resting then typing resting and typing!  I am typing this, and I am also working on a man’s resume.  He really needs my help, and I feel good helping him.  I don’t know that I could do this regularly, as it does take quite allot out of me doing it, but I do feel good about it.  But you never know!  I could do one a month or so maybe!  It is nice to help people who couldn’t afford a professional!  I am free, and not a pro!  I was just taught these skills from helping my mother critique them, she was a pro at it.

So, I’ve been doing more!  And loving it.  This has it’s own challenges as well.  I had gotten to where I was doing more at Physical Therapy as well.. I haven’t been able to go for a while now, due to Jason’s schedule, and me not being able to drive on certain days like today. 

But tomorrow I will make it.  Jason will be driving me!  Woot!  I’ve had problems with my joints shifting out of where they should be.  My right side is by far the worst at it, but the left side shifts around as well. 

I usually don’t notice much pain except for just the regular daily pain that I have in my joints.  When my arm unsuctions from my shoulder then goes back in that is un nerving to say the least.  Besides being gross!  Then it also hurts on top of it, which is oh so fun!

But on Saturday we were out celebrating!  Which I love because it was the first time in YEARS that we actually got to go out for our Anniversary!  We went out with friends!  It was wonderful!  Jason’s froggy voice and all.  I wasn’t sure if we were going to be going.  I wasn’t holding us up this year he had come home from his major days of working 24/7 for multiple days in a row with out his voice!  Gotta love that.  He napped all afternoon!  The man who can’t nap fell asleep on our anniversary!  I made cookies!

We attended an Open House!  It was wonderful!  I will share more about the place we went later.  As the plan is for me to go back this week!  Our friends had friends, who have a pottery studio!  They sell their pottery at several galleries!  That is so cool!  I had RSVP’d and so I got to paint a couple of their pots to take home!  I had so much fun!

Sitting their painting my pots, I had an unfortunate incident.  Which once again makes me so glad that I had Luka with me!  He came right in the pottery shop with me and hung out!  They even gave me a chair to use so I could sit and paint, everyone else did their standing.  But while sitting on my nice chair… my right leg slipped out of it’s socket in my hip when I shifted my leg to turn a different direction.  OMG PAIN PAIN PAIN,,, Holly Cats Pain!  I didn’t know if I was going to be able to get it slipped back in or not.  It just was seeming to stick out of joint this time.  I just remember thinking stay calm stay calm relax relax relax breathe breathe, Oh my, Jason is going to be so mad!  Just sit here, relax relax relax…   Ok now try again move slow…  breathe breathe…  Oh my it hurts it hurts….  this isn’t good…. 

As I wiggled my leg, then lifted my leg with my hands, then moved my hip, it went back in.  OMG@@@@@@!!!!!%%%!!*****   Well.. You get the picture!  It hurt almost as bad as when I broke my arm in 1/2 and worse then when I had burnt myself in the oven the week before.  I think it only hurt less than breaking my arm as it was a short amount of time. 

After this little incident I couldn’t walk on my own at all.  Which is always so lovely!  Luka was a fabulous help!  He knew I was hurting and did just great.  By the end of the evening I was doing better the pain level I was in had dropped significantly and it was easier to get around.  I didn’t take any chances Luka had been put to sleep in the Jeep, it was way past his bed time my old guy was tired!  So Jason stuck to me like glue after that!  Yea! 

I was able to finish my pottery painting, I hung out with our friends, and made bunches of new ones as well!  It was such a nice evening and everyone there was real and regular!  I loved it, it was the type of environment that Jason is comfortable in so I had a great time knowing he was doing well there too! 

As it turned out, my pottery pieces turned out wonderfully!  Raku Pottery is what we did!  I will put pictures here of what I did!  The DeDe the gal who’s studio was asked if I would paint up some more for her so she could sell them! 

Of course!  I would love to do that!  I was just thrilled to be back in a pottery studio!  The last time I was I think was either at the University or in my Kozzi’s art room at her college both were prior to my marriage.  Which has now been 11 years!  Yipee!

My friend Wendy and I are headed back there.  I wonder what we will do this time?   DeDe shared that she thinks she can help me to throw pots too!  That is something that I have never been good at.  She has a wheel that is tall that I wouldn’t have to bend over to use.  Gotta dig out some old warm clothes for this adventure!  I have a feeling if I start throwing I am going to be a M E S S!  I always had done slab work.   I thought I’d never be able to do it again but they have all of the tools at their studio that make it easier!  With multiple people there as well, I can ask for help!  So this might just work out wonderfully, we’ll see!

I was going to be an art teacher after all when I was enrolled in college. 

Jason went back to work on Sunday and I rested after my long day on Saturday.  Monday was like that too, I tried to do some things, I managed to get the kitchen cleaned up from making dog food on Friday night.  Thank goodness for my friend Carolyn who came over and helped me with that. 

I was so happy I could get groceries on Thursday!  But by the time I got home I was too tired to haul them in.  It was cold that night thank goodness, so I just left everything in the car.  The next evening I went out to get the things.  I got them in as I needed to make dog food.  I couldn’t do it on my own.  So I called Carolyn!  She is a blessing.  I hadn’t called anyone for help most people are so busy, they’d help if they could or if it would be an emergency, but aren’t available in general spur of the moment.  Thank goodness Carolyn was.  She was going to help me again this week, to finish cooking and freezing the squash.  But I don’t think I am going to get that done this week.  I already have to many things pending.  Thankfully we got enough squash cut up and potato’s cooked for the next batch of food.  So things will be fine until I can get the next cut and cooked.

So Luka’s new diet which has stopped his chewing of his feet is working well.  The all over swelling of his body and the hot spots that would crop up on him all over has disappeared for the most part too.  But it is taking a toll on me and our budget.  So I am also researching some other ideas to include as well.  

He is allergic to all birds, all grains, and milk!  YIKES!

His food now is

Deer meat ( have extra you don’t want send it our direction) 

Canned Salmon- Which I am right now as I type this just watching on the ABC Nightly News probably has BPA in it and it was shown to cause harm in animals.  GEESH!  They are also concerned about it for people too!.. OMG!  WHERE IS THERE SAFE FOOD!  I am now going to look for FROZEN…. GRRRRR!  Canned foods will be leaving my cupboard for sure!  I don’t need any extra help in feeling crummy! 

Squash – All types ( right now that is what is in season)

Potatoes- Yea!  Those are affordable!

Pumpkin- Yup I am cutting those up too!

Garlic-

Olive or Canola Oil- Depending on price

Ground Flax Seed

I’ve also been putting my Isagenix Shake and protein in his food each day too.  Making sure he gets enough protein, and vitamins. 

I have been researching other foods as well.  Dick Van Patton makes a food that might work into his plan!  So that is on my list of things to get and try for him as well!  The last food that was a two ingredient food did help with the allergies, but it was hard to get I need a prescription, and besides being expensive he was lethargic on it and that just won’t do!

Now back to the other night!  Because one of the most amazing things that happened is that a friend of our friends who also attended the party, Jennifer, she is a Physical Therapist who specializes in Migraines, as well as new technology!  She shared that she wanted to help me, she wants to take me on as her special project!  Oh My!  What a wonderful end to a great evening!  I’ve been reading up on the technology she has access to!  I am so excited!  It sounds perfect for me!  (not that I am a Dr.) She shared that she thinks that I would be a perfect candidate.  She also shared that when she saw me she thought I had MS.  I suppose I do look like I have something like that.  I will have to do the research as to the similarities.  AS I know I don’t have that but I wonder if things that help the people with that would help me too?  Hmm..

I have to say that when she started sharing with me about what she does and where she worked, I was like yeah yeah yeah… I’ll just listen to her and then go back to painting away.  But I actually did listen to her.  The more she shared the more she intrigued me.  I found myself still wanting to shut the ideas she was sharing out of my head.  I consciously had to remind myself once again, that you never know where the miracle is going to come from.  God has a plan!  It is not my plan it is his.  I need to be open to ALL opportunities even if they come in unexpected packaging.  So I am taking another step in faith…  Just like a year ago with the Isagenix which has been a miracle for me.  I just follow the plan and do what I am told under no circumstances will I give up, and if I fall off I get back on and go at it with all I’ve got!  I don’t plan on being like this forever, I have no intention of getting worse and having to stay in bed again!

Jennifer!  I am ready!  Let’s go! 

 

I feel pretty good about all that I’ve been doing! 

1. Thanks to Massage Therapy Increased Activity and Less Neck Pain

2. Thanks to Physical Therapy adjusting my hip (yes the same one that gave me trouble on Halloween)  I can move without pain much easier and I am getting STRONGER! 

3. Luka is doing better and is a better Service Dog for me as a result!

4.  I have written 2 resume’s for people already this year and am working on my third

5.  I have an opportunity to make pottery!

6.  I have great friends who are so supportive, which means the world to us!

7.  Awesome Dr’s and Therapists

8.  Keeping an open mind about people and things in my path.

9.  Getting things I’ve promised done done.  While they aren’t many I am following through.

10.  I’ve lost 55 pounds which has made a huge difference in how I can get around.  It makes it so much easier on Jason when I need carried as well. 

11.  Driving, I am doing more and more.

12.  Walking I am doing more and more!

13.  Emotionally I am hanging in there, and so is Jason!  Phew, it has been so tough!

14.  For the most part I have also managed to stay out of the ER except for a few falls!  That is a marked improvement as well!

15.  I am learning more and more about being healthier, which I had never been consumed by before.  I am more educated than ever, although my mom had done a pretty good job with me.  (Like I haven’t drank soda for almost 10 years except for a few sips every now and then when nothing else was around.) 

16.  Our bills are paid on time!  We are getting things paid off like the bed we got!  Before we invest in other things!  One thing at a time!  Cash is king baby!  Thanks to my money making hubby!  You rock, we are doing it!

17.  I have begun helping others feel better with my Isagenix!  I am so grateful for that!  If you want to know more about it too, let me know!  Send me an email at shine.shimmer.sparkle@gmail.com   I will share some information with you.  I feel guilty not helping others.  Even just for the vitamin aspect of it it is worth it, I feel so much better since the first week I was taking it!  I never want to stop!

18.  I’ve been managing my PTSD better since Luka has become my Service Dog.  Still got a ways to go, but I am thinking about sticking myself back into treatment for it.  (The last day I had an appointment for my PTSD was on the day of my accident, it was a really great day up to the crash I was looking forward to my appointment, I had really begun to make some great progress!)  I’d been putting off going back because multiple health care appointments in a week/day focused on my physical health has been about all I can handle.  Dealing with the issues that are behind my PTSD are a whole new ball game of exertion.  Staying as happy as possible has been my other focus, can’t go back down the deep depression path!  Digging into my past didn’t fall into the “happy” category, not sure it does now either.  It is just another thing that needs to be done.  Of course that is another bill that will be landing on our doorstep.  Need to weigh the costs of that as well.

19.  My dental plan is on track fixing the teeth wrecked by having those fentanol lolly pops in my mouth for years.  So far 2 finished crowns, 1 root canal and a pending crown with I think at least 3 more to go!  Geesh, that comes with its own price tag.  Better than having no teeth!  Jason is on this track as well too!  Getting his whites all pearly!  As much as we both just LOVE sitting in the dentist chair!  We go to a local college and let the student’s practice on us so we can more easily justify having teeth!  Which is painstaking, literally and figuratively!

20.  I still hurt pretty much everywhere, but I can now hold my head up, I can walk more than a few blocks, I can do things and rest then do things and rest and do things and rest!  Point being I can do things!  I am still married to the greatest guy ever!  Who sticks to me like glue even when he might not really want to!  I am not stuck in my bed, or house anymore!  (ok so the ice isn’t hear yet- don’t plan on walking on that stuff!)  I am skinny and can wear pretty much anything which in itself is fun!  Good Will and consignment shops are still my favorite places to shop!  Even though I love designer clothes ( Amazing things can be found there! Things that you can actually afford! )  I have a great old Service Dog! 

 

I miss the life I had that is for sure!  I am starting to like the one that is unfolding before me.  That in it’s self is a blessing! 

Life is full of beauty even if all you can do is watch it out your bedroom window!  I should know!

ANgEL's fOOd

Believing in friends makes the difference. I know when I have friends who believe in me, I definitely feel stronger, with a greater sense of well being. It does not matter how good or bad my life is going, but if I have friends in my corner, my life does go smoother. They don't have to agree with me on things, but to know that they are there for me no matter what is the best feeling ever.

Through the times like these, where my life is not as I had planned or dreamed it would be, that I find myself with limited resources my friends mean the most! The phone calls, emails, and those who stop by and share their time are the BEST! Just to know some one is rooting for me, that someone is taking time to listen to me, and still wants to spend time with me even though I can't do things with/for them as I used to.

I wish I could be a better friend to my friends. I know that I have so many people around me who could use some help, use a hug, or just someone to listen to them. I always have hoped to be a good friend. Sometimes life happens as it is right now for me, where all of your energy seems to be used up. Your time disappears, and life happens, I know that everyone goes through this, their problems, and their needs, seem so important, so trying and so difficult.

The past few years, giving back to others, became so impossible, compared to the life I had before. Now the differences that I make are on a smaller scale, they are simpler, and some how mean more to me.

Before the accident I never really "needed" others in my life to the degree that I seem to after the accident, I found that most of the people I knew and counted as my friends disappeared, and others just did not know how to react to my new situation. It hurt, as change often does. This has made me so much more grateful for those who have stuck by me/us, as Jason's life has changed during this time as well.

It is funny as well that the new people I meet have the same issues with me as well, I find that they are more accepting of me initially, but then many have a hard time wanting to be around me as it is more difficult to be with someone who does not always feel well, who has a dog follow them around and who is not always able to be "ON".

But for the most part, the people who are coming into my life now accept me as I am and for that I am grateful as well. I know it is hard for people to adjust to change.

I have made better relationships with those around me, like my neighbors around where I live, I was always gone before, so never seemed to have time to spend, and now I am getting to know many of them so much better. In fact I am so thrilled with the relationship that a neighbor and I have developed, I am throwing her a bridal shower!

She so deserves it, she is a sort of recluse with out many close friends, her job and her personality add to that. She is so great, has such a great heart, and works so hard, I feel great to do something nice for her. So I've been researching all of the best things to do for a Bridal Shower. I've come up with a fun Chocolate Chip Angel Food Cake Recipe and some frosting everyone says is amazing! I am so excited to share this with her. To make it even better, another neighbor ASKED if she could help me! I am so excited about that too! I have never had anyone ask me if they could HELP me do something! I love it!

I think prior to my accident I was so capable that no one ever thought I needed help, and really most of the time I really did not feel as if I did need it. I put on events all over the world, and was very capable, I decorated an entire museum for Christmas sometimes with Jason or another friend's help but mostly and usually by myself for the many years I did it.

Asking for help is hard, but accepting it can be just as hard, but now, I fight my past and just say yes if others offer. I might even ask for it too. I am working on that.

I am blessed for those around me for those who've stuck by me, and for those that continue to want to do things with me! Blessed grateful for my friends is how I am everyday!

THANKS TO EACH OF YOU! You know who you are!