Thursday, February 24, 2011

"Never Never Never Give Up" Thanks CreativeLIVE and PBS

Do you ever feel sometimes like frustrations are hitting you left and right..  You may want to give up but you persist anyway.  You persist because you don't you won't you can't give up.  You persist because it isn't in your genes to do otherwise. 

You can't just sit there and not try.  You have to be working at something, learning something, benefiting something.  Stagnanty (my word) is just not possible.  If you are not moving forward then you have died a little bit. 

I don't know why I am such a persistent person.  I am amazed at how many times I try to work things out.  I know that others have given up long before now.  People give up on me because they do not feel the hope I have inside myself.  I don't care.  I don't give up on me.  If those around me have given up I just let them go. 

Life is what you make of it with the hand that you've been dealt.  You may be only carrying around a pair of deuces but you know your straight flush is around the corner.  Holding on to the hope holding on to any shred of hope sometimes is all that you have.  Pushing through persevering when the odds or low or the deck is stacked completely against you does not mean that you are destined to fail. 

That life has given up on you.  Sometimes the fight just needs to be a small struggle, other times you need to come out swinging.  I know that if you are fighting through your life everyday than there are days where you feel less hope than others.  But know if you keep searching if you are willing to keep changing.  If you are willing to learn, to listen, to adjust there is hope.

For if you keep on doing the same things you will continue to get the same results. 

If you are willing to examine what in your life may be holding you back from getting you what you want or need and eliminate or adjust to try something different... you will eventually find a way.

Sometimes this needs to be done to the point of exhaustion.  If one thing doesn't work, try another.  If one key does not unlock the door find another key.  Don't give up.

My life is proof that things that you struggle with need not defeat you.  People who define you or who write you off do not defeat you.  If you fall you get back up again.  If you fail you find another way to head toward what you want.

Are you giving up because the "experts" have given up on you?  The experts only know so much.  Their brains can only consume and spill so much information.. what if your "expert" has a closed off mind and is not listening to the latest amounts of proof, or the little voice inside them that shares there is something more that can be done. 

What do you shut your self off from?  Do you shut others out who love you so much that every time they see you they are telling you what you need to do with your life.  What if you started listening?  What if you actually took their well meaning works to heart, not in anger, embarrassment, or in pain, but genuinely gave some of their ideas a good and well meaning try. 

Including them on the journey, enlisting their help.  Will it solve your problems?  Who knows, but instead of hating or delving in bad feelings about yourself or your situation, you have just enlisted someone and gave them some respect and some love for listening what they had to say.

Giving something new a try, or trying something again that you had tried before isn't a bad thing.  Trying alone, and not bringing others into your process is isolating for you.  In addition if they can be by your side and acknowledge your efforts and see for themselves that you have really tried to make something work, you will find that they can turn their "nagging" into support. 

Just because you may be the one that is hurting in some way does not mean that you are the only one who is.  People need to be needed.  Let yourself need someone around you.  Open yourself up to someone.  Share.

Holding things in is detrimental to the healing process. 

In my case after holding things in for so long, sometimes they come out all screwed up.  Some times things can come out and be harmful, hateful, or horrible.  Realize this is happening.  Do your best to protect others from the bad feelings.  But don't hold the pain in. 

It takes time to figure out ways to release it that are not harmful to yourself or others.  But persist.  Persist in becoming the you that you dream of being.

I know this post is a cheerleadery post.  I have lots more of them to share I am sure. 

Through out this process, and through out my life I have had to try and try and try again at things.  One way or another I find a way.  People have counted me out, people have left me behind.  I don't care.  I know what I am capable of and I know what I have inside me. 

Only this matters.  When you feel this strongly about yourself you can't help but persist.  Before my accident I did this.  I think because I fought so hard to get to where I was that it was so so hard for me to let it go. 

But I did.  It may not have been graceful, but I released it.  I have moved on, I am stronger for it.  I am wiser and I am more determined than ever.  Some people go through life seemingly on a gilded path, while others seem to lie down in defeat.  There are others yet, few of us... that hurdle after hurdle, fall after fall, detour after detour, failure after failure, pick ourselves up find a new path and figure it out again and again.

 My journey has not been easy.  It is not over.  But I will persist. 

I would like to say a HUGE Thank You to the folks at  I have found a new direction, I am traveling on yet another journey.  The things that are freely offered are being put to good use and I am making myself proud once again.  I hope you take a moment to check out  It has been a life saver for me. 

Sitting home with PBS for years has been another big blessing for me.  I have learned to cook.  I am now learning photography.  Watch out world because this girl has a new passion.  I am out there making memories.  I will have more to share soon.  But just know that big changes are happening in my life.

With my health, with my aspirations and with my time.  I am making the most of what I can do with myself.  It may be less than others can do but it is the most that I can do.  I am proud of that! 

I hope you are proud of what you are doing as well!  Persist and Adjust and..   in the words of Winston Churchill, "Never Never Never Give Up." 

Blessings, Pink Doberman

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

DaNgErOuS sLeEp

Moving an inch or two can sometimes be a painful thing.  I woke this morning only to find that during the night I have once a gain done something horrible to myself. 

It is usual that my arms or legs or both will be “asleep” due to lack of circulation, which is no doubt painful, but temporary.  This would happen to me as a child as well quite often.  The funniest time and the one that sticks hardest in my memory, and I may have mentioned before in previous posts… was when I was asleep on the top bunk as a child.  I was probably 14 or so.  The phone rang, I woke and jumped down to run to the phone. 

It was only after jumping that I realized that both of my legs had fallen “asleep” and I not only couldn’t walk, I was in such agonizing pins and needles pain, and pain from having landed on the floor in an uncontrolled heap that the shock of things had set in and while the phone was still ringing..

I found myself dragging my whole body down the hall with my arms to reach the phone.  Fruitlessly I must say.  As I realized the craziness of my behavior I stopped dragging myself down the hall and just laid there in my misery until the wrenching pain had calmed down. 

It was after this incident that I now wake up and take a quick stock of my situation before moving.  Which I once again did this morning to find that I had moved in some way to once a gain damage my chances of bounding out of bed. 

Ha Ha.. these days I do not bound.. I even on my good days still inch carefully up and out of bed.  As one wrong move and BLAM… screwed for the day or week.

Today however my assessment revealed that I didn’t even want to move an inch.  I have done something miserable to myself while asleep.  I thought I may be able to “tough it out”  but more likely I will be breaking down and taking more of my “unhappy” pills to deal with it.  These things have a sneaky way of growing unless dealt with.

I am hoping to still be able to reach my goals.. I plan to ride my recumbent bike today.. fingers crossed.  I also plan to be able to work out some more kinks on my project. 

Most mornings or days I do a series of exercises that don’t require much movement on my part.  I am sure there is a name for this type of thing, but I don’t know what it is. 

I take ever muscle group I can think of and one at a time do a series of muscle activations that clench up the muscle and then relax it.  I also breath in through my nose and out through my mouth.  When possible I also do a little stretch with this as well.  If I am having issues with one part of my body I just move on to a different part and go from there.  Avoiding all sore areas.

This exercise while not perfect is something, and it helps to keep my muscles know that I still need them I suppose.   It also gives me the peace of mind that I am doing something positive for myself as well.

And it works!!  Which is even better.  I can keep my tummy muscles pretty darn strong by just tightening and breathing.  I am hoping to also give my self a butt!  (after loosing all of the weight I did two years ago, I had no rear end.)  Which is frustrating.  I am now doing better in this department.  Slowly but surely!

So today, I am going to be doing lots of those exercises as my neck and left shoulder are all pissed off today..  I will be also riding my bike for a bit if I can manage with out further pain. 

What do you do when you can not do what you had planned to do?  Do you just chuck everything out the window or do you make concessions and proudly go about doing what you can?

Today I am happy I can still do many things even though I may have to go about them a bit differently or all together avoid some.  I am still in control of my choices.  Yipee!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

PeTe EcKeRt ~ ViSuAL ArTiSt

Two Fer… I know it is only Monday and this is my second post of the day.  But I’ve just watched and read about this artist.  I had to share! 

I love what he is doing.  I think it is beautiful.  I love it even more that he also has an assistance dog! 

Check out Pete Eckert

I seriously think you will love what he does as well! 

I am close to sharing what I am up to as well…. but you’ll just have to be patient a while longer!  In the meantime admire the art that he has been creating!  I love how it was displayed on huge buildings!  It made those bricks come alive!

Pink Doberman 

CaTcH Up

Awake when I should be asleep.  Oh well what’s new.  I just ate my Isagenix Bar and now I am hoping that by getting some of the words out of my head and into the computer that I might just be able to fall back asleep again.  I need some.  I told Jason this morning that I think my insomnia is back.  Grrr.  Well, at least I did manage to stay in bed all of last night instead of getting up and wondering around the house aimlessly.  Not the best thing to do in the middle of the night while groggy. 

Luka did wake up with me once though, Jason was a hero and took him out and even got me a glass of cold water.  Which worked out great as my body had gotten very warm.. weirdly so..  I am excited for today.  I have lots I want to do. 

Some of which involves going for a swim.  Hope my suit is clean.. =)

We’ve been pretty busy around here in more ways than one.  Jason has been a mad man cleaning up and doing constructive projects around the house..  We have rid ourselves of one couch and are looking to find homes for one more loveseat and a reclining chair.  Less is more.  Less to move around, less to clean around.  We are going for a minimalist approach to living… Ok I am not very minimalistic.. but I am trying. 

I have hopes soon that I will also have a newly organized clothing closet.  He finished one organizer for our project room and it is working out fabulously I might add!  Have yet to find a place for everything but I’ve got a good start on it. 

We do things a little bit at a time around here.  Wish I could do it all at once, but neither my attention span nor my energy seems to last that long. 

I did make a skirt yesterday for our granddaughter!!  Yea!!  Excited about that!  I can’t wait to get it mailed off to Brazil!  It is an adorable Red Tule Skirt for her to play in.  We were informed that red is her favorite color.  So I think we may have to find a Husker shirt to go along with her skirt! 

In other family news all of our girls are doing well!  D is expecting again!!   YiPeee.. another G-baby!!  And she is almost an Exec Sr. Director in MK!  We couldn’t be prouder! 

F is finishing up law school, she is doing quite well!  A is in medical school, she has wrapped up her surgery rotation and is going strong! 

Our young friend N is now married and working in town, T is in school in Lincoln and working as well. 

Sisters and their kids are doing great also!!  We hope to be gathering in the spring when Dad and G come for a visit!  Yipee!!

Well lots of things to look forward to that is for sure.  Lots more as well but I am silent about that for now.

Life is moving forward, even if I have to drag it kicking and screaming!  Ha!

Oh, and Jason and I watched the super game last night.  Well he watched and I worked on the computer.  He did do his duty and remind me when the commercials were on though.  I had a margarita chips and salsa and then went to bed early, which may be the cause of my early rise and restless night.  =)

All in all we had a GREAT night watching TV and hanging out together!  And it worked out great, with both teams wearing yellow pants you couldn’t tell which team was going which way, or who was winning really and so  in our house at least there wasn’t much yelling at the screen!

As per feeds on Twitter we gathered this was not the case in other households. 


Pink Doberman

Friday, February 4, 2011


This month has been a bit hellish.  I don’t know what is going on other than it could be weather related, and attached as well to the fall I took at the Dr.s’ office, or the glasses being on and off and on and off, or just the simple fact that my brain has indeed been traumatized...  But I have been getting worse and longer lasting migraines nearly every day again. 

Right now they seem to be increasing in their life disruption… Not that my life is anything that exciting.  I have been working at some things that I’d really like to get done though… and these things are driving me NUTS!

I’d like them to go away.  I am however so grateful that they are no longer what they were for years after the accident.  I will be grateful for that every day of my life I don’t have those again.  These hurt and I can’t do much when I have them but I can move around a bit and I can do some things that don’t require perfection. 

I would just really like to be able to stop taking all of these migraine pain and muscle relaxation pills.  Pills pills pills pills… oh God, I hate pills! 

To top it off I fear I am running out of my allotted pill amount again.  The insurance company only lets you get so many migraines a month.  After that they aren’t considered worth treating I guess.  Which really stinks as these dumb pills are $$$$$$$$$ 

Sorry for the stinky post.  I am just frustrated.  I have big plans and these buggers have been making it very difficult to get my plans done.  It is very hard to try to function through these for me.  I try.  Maybe I shouldn’t, but I can’t bear the thought of another unproductive day passing. 

Jason made me rest yesterday, it did help.  I have only been awake a couple of hours now again and I will be heading back to sleep yet again.  There is sunshine and I will be asleep.  Drat!

On other notes, I am becoming an artist.  I will be sharing more about this later!  Just know I am making my dream happen.  Even though by other standards it may not seem like much, it is and has been something I am having to work very hard for. 

I am not doing it alone, but I am doing it.  I am so grateful for the people who’ve been placed in my life.  Jason especially.  Others of you you, well most of you know who you are.  Thanks!

I am pushing through.  Make way!


Pink Doberman