You can't just sit there and not try. You have to be working at something, learning something, benefiting something. Stagnanty (my word) is just not possible. If you are not moving forward then you have died a little bit.
I don't know why I am such a persistent person. I am amazed at how many times I try to work things out. I know that others have given up long before now. People give up on me because they do not feel the hope I have inside myself. I don't care. I don't give up on me. If those around me have given up I just let them go.
Life is what you make of it with the hand that you've been dealt. You may be only carrying around a pair of deuces but you know your straight flush is around the corner. Holding on to the hope holding on to any shred of hope sometimes is all that you have. Pushing through persevering when the odds or low or the deck is stacked completely against you does not mean that you are destined to fail.
That life has given up on you. Sometimes the fight just needs to be a small struggle, other times you need to come out swinging. I know that if you are fighting through your life everyday than there are days where you feel less hope than others. But know if you keep searching if you are willing to keep changing. If you are willing to learn, to listen, to adjust there is hope.
For if you keep on doing the same things you will continue to get the same results.
If you are willing to examine what in your life may be holding you back from getting you what you want or need and eliminate or adjust to try something different... you will eventually find a way.
Sometimes this needs to be done to the point of exhaustion. If one thing doesn't work, try another. If one key does not unlock the door find another key. Don't give up.
My life is proof that things that you struggle with need not defeat you. People who define you or who write you off do not defeat you. If you fall you get back up again. If you fail you find another way to head toward what you want.
Are you giving up because the "experts" have given up on you? The experts only know so much. Their brains can only consume and spill so much information.. what if your "expert" has a closed off mind and is not listening to the latest amounts of proof, or the little voice inside them that shares there is something more that can be done.
What do you shut your self off from? Do you shut others out who love you so much that every time they see you they are telling you what you need to do with your life. What if you started listening? What if you actually took their well meaning works to heart, not in anger, embarrassment, or in pain, but genuinely gave some of their ideas a good and well meaning try.
Including them on the journey, enlisting their help. Will it solve your problems? Who knows, but instead of hating or delving in bad feelings about yourself or your situation, you have just enlisted someone and gave them some respect and some love for listening what they had to say.
Giving something new a try, or trying something again that you had tried before isn't a bad thing. Trying alone, and not bringing others into your process is isolating for you. In addition if they can be by your side and acknowledge your efforts and see for themselves that you have really tried to make something work, you will find that they can turn their "nagging" into support.
Just because you may be the one that is hurting in some way does not mean that you are the only one who is. People need to be needed. Let yourself need someone around you. Open yourself up to someone. Share.
Holding things in is detrimental to the healing process.
In my case after holding things in for so long, sometimes they come out all screwed up. Some times things can come out and be harmful, hateful, or horrible. Realize this is happening. Do your best to protect others from the bad feelings. But don't hold the pain in.
It takes time to figure out ways to release it that are not harmful to yourself or others. But persist. Persist in becoming the you that you dream of being.
I know this post is a cheerleadery post. I have lots more of them to share I am sure.
Through out this process, and through out my life I have had to try and try and try again at things. One way or another I find a way. People have counted me out, people have left me behind. I don't care. I know what I am capable of and I know what I have inside me.
Only this matters. When you feel this strongly about yourself you can't help but persist. Before my accident I did this. I think because I fought so hard to get to where I was that it was so so hard for me to let it go.
But I did. It may not have been graceful, but I released it. I have moved on, I am stronger for it. I am wiser and I am more determined than ever. Some people go through life seemingly on a gilded path, while others seem to lie down in defeat. There are others yet, few of us... that hurdle after hurdle, fall after fall, detour after detour, failure after failure, pick ourselves up find a new path and figure it out again and again.
My journey has not been easy. It is not over. But I will persist.
I would like to say a HUGE Thank You to the folks at CreativeLIVE.com I have found a new direction, I am traveling on yet another journey. The things that are freely offered are being put to good use and I am making myself proud once again. I hope you take a moment to check out CreativeLIVE.com It has been a life saver for me.
Sitting home with PBS for years has been another big blessing for me. I have learned to cook. I am now learning photography. Watch out world because this girl has a new passion. I am out there making memories. I will have more to share soon. But just know that big changes are happening in my life.
With my health, with my aspirations and with my time. I am making the most of what I can do with myself. It may be less than others can do but it is the most that I can do. I am proud of that!
I hope you are proud of what you are doing as well! Persist and Adjust and.. in the words of Winston Churchill, "Never Never Never Give Up."
Blessings, Pink Doberman