Sunday, December 28, 2008
I was able to finally get the pajama pants finished for her that I had been sewing. It had been frustrating for me I just had a little bit of trim to finish them off and I kept getting to sore and tired so I had to take allot of breaks to get them done, but I did it!!! Woo HOO! So she had her cute pants to wear on her trip!
I even was able to work on mine, while they are not finished, they are mostly finished! I even got all packed to go out of town to stay with friends, and so Jason could be in town for his job at the hospital I was already to go, and proud of myself for plugging away and getting as much done as I could. I missed getting a few things finished, I had planned to finish up some laundry, and make some more chocolate covered pretzels, and a couple of other things, but hey, I was pretty happy with what I had done.
Jason arrived home the morning after Christmas, and we waited for some repair people to finish up some work on our house, he loaded up everything and off we went! I had been feeling fairly good, very tired and achy, and really over the past week just not sleeping well at all... which is why I am probably not able to sleep tonight and I am up typing at 3am after laying in bed for several hours. GRRRR.
The day's have been pretty good with average amounts of medication taken, no days lately of no medication, I don't know what is going on right now, I usually can squeeze at least a day with out taking meds. Hopefully that day is coming soon! My Dr's gave me some new cream to smear on my achy areas and that helps, it does not help for a long time but it is able to give me some relief. It is like asprin for your skin! I like it! It really has helped my hands stop hurting amongst other things.
So yesterday, was a pretty lazy day, I got to talk with my friend for a while before they left for a few days. I love it, we arrive, they leave, we can watch their dog, and a good friend of ours is watching our other dogs at home. I spent the entire morning asleep awoke in time to go to Jason's favorite place for a late lunch, came home and slept til evening, I was very wobley, and exhausted again, woke up in time for a marithon on tv of NCIS while eating leftovers from lunch. Tried to go to sleep... well here I am. Hmmm. Yes I know, I spent the entire day sleeping so it is a wonder why I am not asleep right now... giggle... Who knows about this crazy body of mine. Of course the night before talking with my friend we stayed up way to late, we always seem to do this if I am feeling good enough the first night I arrive. But, lately my usual bed time has been around 2 am.
I've gotta get this figured out. I really love to sleep at night and be awake with everyone during the day. Today will hopefully bring a day of all day awake and feeling well. Maybe we can even get to see my Aunt and Cousins who live near by.
We plan for a day of relaxation and if he get's called in to work well, that will be an adventure for him.
I'd been thinking of lots of other things to write about but at this moment I really can't recall what they are. Things are going really well actually, I've gotten out of my house, Jason's pretty happy to be having nothing much to think about, and he got his favorite food. So life is nice.
I wonder what I will make to eat for us today? I think I am actually getting tired, Thank YOU God! I really really want to feel good tomorrow!!!!! REALLY! Actually having a non medication needed 24 hours would be fantastic! Do I dare hope for 48 hours??? Hmmmm...
Anything is possible!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Today, after waking up and having to take some medication, I was letting my fur kids out, and I noticed our neighbor guy walking up our drive with goodies in his hands. LIGHT BULB moment. I went in to the house to grab the plates of goodies I had gotten ready last night for my neighbors. He shared with me as I answered the door that my neighbor to the left had asked him to bring over a loaf of nut bread. I shared with him that I had goodies for his family too, and for other neighbors, he said that he could deliver them! This guy is great, he is a young fella, and he loves to do nice things to help out. So, I feed him goodies for his efforts! It seems to work out just great.
All of my neighborhood goodies got delivered, and I did not even have to venture out onto the slick streets. Woo Hoo!
This afternoon, my Mary Kay delivery's are being made by our Teenage Friend's boyfriend. He is running those things around for me! Thanks to Joan and Susan S. for their orders, he even took a few things to the post office, so now I have more presents being delivered via USPS... With my computer being broken, I can't do the postage thing at home at the moment, it used to be so convenient, through www.stamps.com but now, I have to do it the old fashioned way.
That reminds me I need to call and get my computer scheduled for repair. That is going to be my Christmas Present! It should actually be our Teenage Friend's present, since I've been using her computer allot, she is so gracious!
Well, I've got lots more things to do today, laundry, dishes, floors, and make chocolate covered pretzels, sort my Mary Kay, and do a little sewing for Christmas. Hmmm... the medication worked but I am also feeling I need a nap, after sleeping all of the morning to get rid of a migraine, I really wish I was not tired. I will be hanging out by myself the rest of the day, I'd better get the day organized so I can be ready for what tomorrow holds.
Christmas is coming and even though I will be spending Christmas on my own as Jason works, I still want to have everything done as then I can do whatever I want the whole day I want nothing left that NEEDS to be done to do. I just want to enjoy my time with reading, drawing, or whatever crosses my mind.
Maybe I will feel well enough to travel to Jason's work to see him on Christmas Day? I haven't ever been to his work. We'll see!
Monday, December 22, 2008
The shower went off with out a hitch, Jason helped me get all set up for it! Thank God for him! My neighbor Ruth brought gifts ideas, and extra things I would need, and she was my back up hostess just in case I had to be medicated. I will include some pictures of the shower.
Each of Karen's friends shared a favorite quality about her on the little cards around the bouquet, and the bow's from her gifts were neatly tucked into the center of her bouquet, for her to carry with her in her rehearsal. She had so much fun listening to what everyone had to say about her, and each of us had fun sharing with her what we appreciated about her.
Sometimes it is hard for us to see what others really think of us, especially the good things. It is always nice to have reminders that we are loved and appreciated. Especially from those who are around us most.
As some additional fun, we all pitched in to give the bride to be a wonderful white wedding gown. We all worked hard to insure that she had every detail covered. As Karen does not wear dresses often, we really had to make this one special. Her fiance is a great guy and they have decided to have a less formal wedding so she won't be walking down the isle in a white wedding gown, instead she will probably wear her blue jeans. Which suits her perfectly! Since she has opted to forgo the formality of tradition, we thought it only appropriate to dowse her with it at the shower, or should we have called it the roast?
She looked lovely in her ribboned dress complete with train, veil, bouquet and jewlery! She wore it well and was very elegant looking. Her family and friends out did themselves. She was a sight to behold. We all had so much fun torturing her! Hee Hee!!
After the shower, Ruth did the dishes, and Jason and our Teenage Friend helped get everything wrapped up and cleaned up after our fun party. There was toilet paper EVERYWHERE! It was so fun! I even got in on this picture with my Pink Dobe! THANKS Jason for taking it!
So the shower was Saturday night, we had spent Friday night baking, Saturday morning getting ready to leave the house (it takes me forever to get cute). Then we headed to the city for some lunch it had supposed to have been breakfast, or brunch but turned into lunch. Hee Hee! Jason had had a very busy night at work and was exhausted, Julie's hubby drove us all to the city for lunch and some shopping. We ate at Hooters since the guys would be drug around to stores and malls in the holiday madness, it only made sence to have happy hubbys on our journey. It makes for much better cooperation! And they were FABULOUS! We arrived back home just in time for them to depart to a hotel for some PRIVATE time, and for Jason to help me finish setting up for the shower!
Sunday became a day of rest for me as my body seemed to be going on strike! I was icky and medicated all day, late afternoon the edge of the pain had disapated, and I began another project. Our Teenage Friend needed cookies for the band concert on monday, so as she arrived home and after her nap, she invited friends over and we made sugar cookies, puppy chow, carmel chow, and no bake cookies... I got to supervise the progress and help answer questions. I was told to get out of the kitchen to go rest several times, but they were good to me doing everything I shouldn't be doing! And now today, we have cookies for the concert, and for other holiday activities!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Through the times like these, where my life is not as I had planned or dreamed it would be, that I find myself with limited resources my friends mean the most! The phone calls, emails, and those who stop by and share their time are the BEST! Just to know some one is rooting for me, that someone is taking time to listen to me, and still wants to spend time with me even though I can't do things with/for them as I used to.
I wish I could be a better friend to my friends. I know that I have so many people around me who could use some help, use a hug, or just someone to listen to them. I always have hoped to be a good friend. Sometimes life happens as it is right now for me, where all of your energy seems to be used up. Your time disappears, and life happens, I know that everyone goes through this, their problems, and their needs, seem so important, so trying and so difficult.
The past few years, giving back to others, became so impossible, compared to the life I had before. Now the differences that I make are on a smaller scale, they are simpler, and some how mean more to me.
Before the accident I never really "needed" others in my life to the degree that I seem to after the accident, I found that most of the people I knew and counted as my friends disappeared, and others just did not know how to react to my new situation. It hurt, as change often does. This has made me so much more grateful for those who have stuck by me/us, as Jason's life has changed during this time as well.
It is funny as well that the new people I meet have the same issues with me as well, I find that they are more accepting of me initially, but then many have a hard time wanting to be around me as it is more difficult to be with someone who does not always feel well, who has a dog follow them around and who is not always able to be "ON".
But for the most part, the people who are coming into my life now accept me as I am and for that I am grateful as well. I know it is hard for people to adjust to change.
I have made better relationships with those around me, like my neighbors around where I live, I was always gone before, so never seemed to have time to spend, and now I am getting to know many of them so much better. In fact I am so thrilled with the relationship that a neighbor and I have developed, I am throwing her a bridal shower!
She so deserves it, she is a sort of recluse with out many close friends, her job and her personality add to that. She is so great, has such a great heart, and works so hard, I feel great to do something nice for her. So I've been researching all of the best things to do for a Bridal Shower. I've come up with a fun Chocolate Chip Angel Food Cake Recipe and some frosting everyone says is amazing! I am so excited to share this with her. To make it even better, another neighbor ASKED if she could help me! I am so excited about that too! I have never had anyone ask me if they could HELP me do something! I love it!
I think prior to my accident I was so capable that no one ever thought I needed help, and really most of the time I really did not feel as if I did need it. I put on events all over the world, and was very capable, I decorated an entire museum for Christmas sometimes with Jason or another friend's help but mostly and usually by myself for the many years I did it.
Asking for help is hard, but accepting it can be just as hard, but now, I fight my past and just say yes if others offer. I might even ask for it too. I am working on that.
I am blessed for those around me for those who've stuck by me, and for those that continue to want to do things with me! Blessed grateful for my friends is how I am everyday!
THANKS TO EACH OF YOU! You know who you are!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Then we traveled into the city, we grabbed some lunch went to the bank the auto parts store and Petsmart for MORE dog food! Geesh dogs eat allot!
Each day I get up, I hope to learn something new, to push myself a little more and to squeeze more into my day or more out of it. Focusing on this really helps me keep motivated, keep my spirits up and helps me to improve myself.
Even if it is a little each day, I might not finish one task in a day anymore, but over time I am able to finish anything! I like that, it has really made me focus on finishing what I start! I have an idea to finish all of my projects before I really start taking on new ones.
In fact, I've even been finishing some projects that my mother had started when she was alive. I love my mom, but she had issues with finishing what she started, I think somehow she shared that gift with all three of us girls. We each struggle with it in different ways.
Right now I am fixing a quilt that I made for Jason, it is a pretty cool quilt, at least I think so, I cut up all of his old tee-shirts the ones he would wear when he was a rock star, and I made a king size quilt of them all so they would be preserved. Some of them had been getting quite thin.
Well this king size project was my first quilt, and I missed a couple of stitches here and there, so I am going back over it by hand to make sure the seams are all sturdy. I love this quilt I made it prior to 2004 thank goodness, otherwise I am just sure that I would still be working on finishing it! My friend Jen and newer friend Jen go on these trips with me and others pop in occasionally. Jen has helped me in this endeavor to make Jason's quilt, at least once a year we do a ladies weekend! We go for 2 days and just focus on quilting, crafting, scrapbooking, reading, or whatever. This was one of the projects I worked on on our weekends together. Their quilts are much fancier ones, but I am happy with the one I made. It suits Jason, lots of flannel, and a heavy cotton batting, it provides great snuggle qualities!
Now on these weekends I bring smaller projects, as my need to finish what I start is the goal! This last one, I just went to it with the intention of helping them with their projects, but mostly sat on the couch watching them work and enjoying their company. It was a good break for me that month, I hadn't been able to get out of the house much as Jason was working his ass off! My friends provided a perfect outlet to have some girl time! It is so great that they put up with me even though I am definately not as much fun as I used to be.
I can't wait to get back to being able to travel all over! That is one of the things that I have always planned my life to do. Don't get me wrong, I love to be home as well, even more than I used to I will admit. Before my accident I was NEVER home! I was always off doing something I found to be fun or exciting, mostly involving my work. I loved it! Jason would go with me when he could, and we just planned our lives to be lived on the go!
He loved that too! As his job provides many days in a row off each month if we would choose, so we could take many mini vacations, and even some for a month! I remember our last big trip to Brasil, Jason had never been to the ocean before, and I was able to take him to the Atlantic Ocean off of the coast of Brasil after having traveled around the country for three weeks, come home and with in a week of having been in the Atlantic, we were in California in the Pacific! A dream come true for him! How cool was that?
I don't write these things to be braggy, but just to share how much fun we've had traveling, and how much we love to do new things. We both watched the movie "The Bucket List" receintly, I think we each have one of those, while not clearly defined at the moment, we will be working on what we want to do or accomplish before we die. Not from a morbid prospective, but a list filled with things that will bring joy to others or enrich our lives. Jason's list includes things like walk on the moon, fly in Airforce One, cruise the Nile, ... the list is infinate. Mine, well mine will be more defined I think before mine might have included many grand seeming things, but now, well, one thing I definately would like to do is open the eyes of others so that they may experience life at a different leval, Ok so I know that doesn't make much sense and it may not seem defined... but here is one small example of what I mean.
Our teenage friend who's living with us, her life hasn't always been the easiest, I don't know if easy is something that should even be someone's goal, I have always found that the things that are harder to obtain, that require more of yourself, that push your limits are the ones that are to be the most treasured. But still when you are a child you should be allowed to be a child, not have piles of adult responsibilities heaped upon you. So while she is living with us, we are trying to open up her eyes to a different world, a world which isn't easy to live in either, but a world that is full of possibilities! Endless Possiblities, all she would have to do is make a choice of what she would want, and then work to make it happen.
I see so many people give up on their dreams, most of the time, they are almost to atain them, and then they just let everything fall away in to nothing. It has happened to me earlier in my life. It is a great learning opportunity to pick yourself up and hold yourself high and give it an even harder effort in achieving your goal. Never giving up!
I want her to know that she doesn't have to live the life she was brough up in, that she can choose the type of life that she wants and make it happen for herself. And while learning and growing each step may be painful, but the successes that she would experience while getting to her goal would be personally gratifing. I don't care if her passion is to make minimum wage or if it is to make a million each year, but she should know that she can choose! She is the one who settles for what is available easily, or works hard to get what she has her heart set on.
So many people settle, they stop fighting just before the greatness comes into their lives, and so many others, never even start on the path. Few people it seems actually finish what they've started. While you may think that getting the prize at the end is the reward, the reward is actually all of the times you've learned to pick yourself off, hold yourself high, and keep on going, having learned from your mistakes so as not to repeat them. Moving on to different mistakes or different ways of seeing the world or percieving the world.
That is what I wish I could watch everyone experience. That is what I wish I could be apart of others experience. That is what I miss most about my travels, the people, the women, the families, and the children, learning that they can dream, and that thier dreams can become their reality! Whether in Cuiaba, Kansas, New Hampshire, Sao Paulo , Hawaii, or at home that I was able to impart this message to them. The scenery was just a bonus for me!
I am dreaming!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Breakfast, get our teenage friend out to work with a lunch, I got myself all ship shape, and then cleaned up Luka's mess from the back yard. I took some pictures, went to see a neighbor, and then went to Dena's Tuppaware Sale. Pretty tired after that so here I sit in bed resting, Jason insisted, he is right he is ALWAYS right!
Last night I was searching through some other blogger posts, and I found the coolest song! It is by an Indonesian 14 year old, her name is Gita Gutawa and her song is called Kembang Perawan, she is on www.ilike.com and a few other sites, not to mention www.youtube.com. I think I have listened to that song about 50 times since last night. I can't even understand what she is singing about, but her voice is so lyrical, it just speaks to my soul.
Jason was super sweet, on my facebook site, I had mentioned that I wanted to get an Ipod so I could listen to this song over and over and over! That's what I do, I am like a little toddler, I want to see my favorite movies and my favorite songs, even my favorite audio cd's Over and Over and Over and Over, DRIVES HIM NUTS!
I remember when I would be driving a million miles a week, I would listen to the same training CD's he would ride with me and hear the same thing over and over again, he just could not take it. For starters the CD's usually featured a southern accented woman, and by the end of the trip I would be talking with my Ya'all's intact... I am not from the south, I have no real southern accent and he would be quite annoyed by the end of our trip.
I usually would give my CD's a break when he would ride with me, at least for half of the trip. I never seemed to get anything soaked into my brain and then into my daily activity unless I really focused on making the effort, and by listening to my training CD's I would find that slowly but surely without much effort other than listening while driving my life would start to adjust in the manner I had been directing it. This is the method of preference for me, as making a concentrated effort to stick to something is something that I found difficult. Now, after my accident, since everything is new to me once again, I am learning a new way of life with new routines, the things I have learned in the past are able to help me shape the activities and routines of what I am determined to focus on.
Before when I was young, I'd inherited, some of my mom's procrastination issues, over time and with a great deal of work on my part, I had curbed those issues. I did procrastinate a bit but my focus was to always have things done early, therefore, I was almost always on time with everything as being on time was for me considered late.
Still to this day, I am focused on having things done in advance, probably even more so than before. With the daily issues that I face, I never know if I will be having huge pain issues, and since they can last several days in a row with no break, I really want to be on top of the things that I have committed to doing.
It does mean saying no more often, and it does mean doing things sooner than anyone would normally think of doing them, for instance, I have already started planning for my garden next year, my Christmas shopping was done at the begining of December, and I chose not to push my self to go with the neighbor to see the homes that were decorated for Christmas today, as I have another neighbor coming over to help me with a bridal shower I am throwing for a completely different neighbor. I've gotta have enough energy to get it all done, the houses would surley been fun to see! But I have committments to keep!
I must follow through, I must be prepared, and I must create contingency plans in case my body does not follow my plan!
Tonight we will be vegitables! I can't wait! We will watch what ever is on TV, or a movie from our favorites, and just veg! How nice will that be!
I am going to go, since I have more to follow through with, dishes, Bethanne's order, a past client reconnected yesterday thanks Mary! Susan will be coming over tomorrow for MK and I need to be ready today! Got lots of things to get done! Blessings!! I am off!
Friday, December 12, 2008
I've been given strict instructions not to do any bending lifting over exerting, getting upset, or anything that I actually have control over so I couldn't possibly get a migraine from any activities that I have pursued... I do want my house cleaner so I will have to get that figured out. Of course I can't control the wonderful December weather and all of the shifts of the barometer that happen to be going on, but hey, I will do my part and make every effort to go to the show unmedicated, so I will have the hope of actually remembering the show.
Since sound doesn't USUALLY bug me to extremes, lights sometimes can but hey, I've got tickets to STOMP! I am going to do everything I can to go!...
I've stopped buying tickets to things, it actually bums me out, I've had tickets to conferences in the past or to other events, and I've had to cancel because of my pain issues since my auto accident. I hate wasting money!
Tickets for events happen at one date and time... and sometimes it just does not work for me to make their schedule fit into MY NEW YUCKY Lifes's plans...
Don't get me wrong, I love living, I just wish I was not always struggling to stay pain free, and I wish Wish WISH!!! that my main source of relief did not come in a bottle of pills! My massage therapist is great and everything, but who can get in all the time EXACTLY when you need to be there with the MOST amount of pain? And while he makes it better for sure, he sure does not have the key to making the pain just go completely away.
So our Christmas decorations have gotten put up, we just have boxes left to get put away and a little more sprucing up to do. Thanks to our teenage friend and her friend Amanda V. They had fun and so did I. A big thank you to my awesome hubby who got all of my decoration boxes out for us! The tree looks great, I have noticed that I have almost as many nativity sets as I do ornaments... How fun is that?
Things are going to be great! I just know that they are going to be better soon! Jason's cousin Susan has something fun for me to do tomorrow! I am happy about that! I sure have lots of great things to look forward too!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Things are going to work out for her slowly but surely. As they will for me. Each day we plug away at different things. Sometimes it feels as if we are going no where, then suddenly poof! Something happens that gives us a benchmark towards our dreams.
The harder things are for me the more satisfied I feel with them when I have completed them. I try to set little goals for myself each day, last night I had planned to get an order out for a NEW Client... Well she used to be my client YEARS ago, and she has come back to me. She placed an order, I had planned to get it out today.
Jason had left to help his parents out, his dad had back surgery and it went well, he is home now and is very very sore. Jason had gone out to fix the bathroom up for him. It was an unsuccessful trip as the small town plumber did not have the correct parts. He will be making the trip another day.
He was gone until 5 or so and the post office closes at 4:30 so no getting my package out today. =(! But tomorrow it is TOP of the list of things for me to do for the day! I hope I can drive! Today too much medication to get behind the wheel of the car, although I did make shakes for lunch and I did make a mystery concoction of vegetables for supper.
I am super excited about my new client! I just loved her, she had moved and we lost touch, I really miss our chats, we used to volunteer together, and I always just had the best time being in her space. It really is not the makeup that I enjoy so much it is the time spent with these neat women that really makes me smile. I do love the makeup helping someone look a little cuter or get their skin to be softer is also really great, I do love making others feel better!
But sitting with someone and spending time with them does really fill my heart! I can't wait to hear what my refound friend has been up to over these past 10+ years!
Here is to pleasant persistence!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
With groceries on the brain, I started to get myself ready for the day. My hair was a tangled mess as I hadn't gotten it brushed out after my bath the night before. It took a while but I was finally cute. I needed to drop off two Mary Kay orders to Erin and to Kristy who lived on our way to the stores~ It was so great to see them, and I am so grateful for their orders.
We ended up getting to two grocery stores, I had gone through the adds to find the great sale items and we now have groceries in our home! Woo Hoo! My sister had gotten us the necessities and even enough to make Jason's favorite sandwich ,the ruben, just before Thanksgiving. She also brought back to our home the deer that our friend had shot! Thanks to our friend Jason K, and to my sister K!
Blessings are abundant! We are so tight with money since the auto accident, before thngs were always plentiful, and since they have been strained. We follow a strict budget, and any extra money that we get goes to repair what we have or replace what cannot be repaired.
Occasionally, we even get to do something fresh and fun, Jason has currently been saving all of his change so that we can go on a vacation sometime. We had this fund started before, but we had to use it as our emergency fund to fix the necessities.
We really have done well, we do and can survive on what Jason makes... we can have fun and do interesting thought provoking things, we can help others and as we have been discovering it gives others the opportunity to help us too! Which is kinda neat, because before we didn't need any help, and while we could survive with out the help of others for me it makes life so much nicer to have people, family as well as friends who are in your corner cheering for you and giving you a hand when times are tough.
I am blessed, each day is beautiful, each day is a gift and my life is blessed through the simple things my hubby does every day, the gift of time my teenage friend brings to my life, our supportive family who is finally understanding, and our friends who are there for us!
I am blessed! We are blessed, even though days seem hard, they are fulfilling, the good makes the bad so much better!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Luka has begun to notice when I am beginning to get pain. However, he is not yet become reliable, but anything helps at this point. Getting the medication in my system to get the pain under control in the beginning is the key! If I get a little medication early enough, then I am off and having a more productive day.
Some days work out like today has, waking up reaching for the bottle of medication, resting, taking more medication, resting, more medication, resting, more medication, resting until now at almost six in the evening FINALLY starting to feel better. Like I can get out of bed for the day.
I don't know when these days will happen, planning my life is extremely difficult. I had planned to go to a Geocaching Breakfast with Jason, then off with him to help him bring his father home from the hospital after back surgery, then to send off our teenage friend to school for band.. Well, I did get to sleep allot, pitter around the house a bit, and watch a movie... Jason went to help out his parents, his father is sore but doing well, he has learned that many days the things that we have planned to do together, he will end up doing alone.
I miss doing so many things with him. We used to do so much together. On my good days we do as much as we can cram in. Tomorrow, grocery shopping is on the list! Who know's what else the day will hold. I will be thrilled to get the grocery shopping done, and some house cleaning... Simple but it will make the rest of the week so much nicer for me as well as everyone else.
Never know who will stop by??? I love company. Each day waking up I have faith that I will be able to accomplish the list I have set forth for myself! Maybe I'll even be able to do more MK!
Friday, December 5, 2008
My goals these days are smaller, more focused, seem to take much more time that they should and are are becoming somehow more and more fulfilling. I've had lots of role models in my life who've overcome many obstacles, some physical, some emotional, some work related, some situational, etc. I have drawn on many of their stories to and examples to keep plugging away at doing what ever I am able to do to the best of my ability.
Perfection is achieved for me through balance, effort, willingness, and peace of mind. What I have accomplished may not be perfect in someone else's life but for me if I have given it all that I can and I have worked as hard as I could it is perfect to me.
I was talking to a couple friends who were struggling last night about integrity, personal integrity, that is one thing that I had built my life around. My business was based on it, and so were my relationships. The accident that changed my life in 2004 collapsed my integrity, I was no longer able to keep with my commitments, the relationships that I had worked so hard to nourish to flourish began to slowly diminish and die. My communication skills had abruptly changed.
I was medicated 24/7 and not with Tylenol... I was unable to keep promises, appointments, and schedules. The network of local business people in my Rotary group became estranged as I was unable to follow through... My fast growing business in Brazil slowly came crashing down into nothingness, My Director business dwindled into oblivion and my client base disappeared because of issues caused by this accident.
To everyone I looked perfectly normal, I was not in a wheel chair, or did not have scars to point to, there was no coma, no long extended hospital stay, and no fanfare of what had happened to me. It was slow, almost methodical in the way this accident slowly crept in to all areas of my life like a cancer, it was not apparent until it was too late to get rid of it. I am still trying to rid it from my life.
I would cut one area of my life off to find it had already spread to another, that area was cut off and it spread to another.. WHOOOA!
All this time I am trying to get healthier, stronger better, and things in my life still are falling apart around me. But I am no longer holding on to my past, I am focused on what tomorrow will bring.
I wish I could move on, I wish and try and try and wish for things to be better, I am not asking for things to go back to how they were, although I would absolutely love that! I am however, working toward how I can do the best with what I have.
Now with the continued support of my husband, my great and loyal friends! And even a few new ones, I am trecking on each day with Luka on one side and Jason on the other.
I am on to clipping coupons and going through the grocery adds, before calling a couple of clients. Building my life one moment at a time. Thanks to my hubby Jason for keeping it all together and my friends Jen, Curtis, and Julie for having checked in on me today, and Linda for being so supportive of our teenage friend! And for my sisters S & K! Who are along for the ride.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Waking up the following morning proved to be a challenge. During the night Luka had stuck his nose in my face two seperate times. Geesh.. I wondered could he really have to go to the bathroom that bad??? I certainly wasn't getting up for that, I told him to go to bed, and he did, but would try again later to wake me up. I asked him if he wanted to go outside... he didn't do his crazy waggle so that isn't what he wanted. I dozed off again, realizing that I felt terrible, but my meds were to far away to grab ( I'd been tired from the trip and from talking to my friend and Jason was already asleep so I didn't want to disturb him by waking him up digging through my bags ).. so I hadn't preped my meds. MISTAKE!!! BIG MISTAKE! The next morning when Jason got up, I could hardly move, my body HURT EVERYWHERE and my head was so hard to lift up. The accident over four years ago has reaked havac on my life ever sence! I just LOVE taking all this medication.... NOT!
Jason took Luka out who by this time did want to go outside, and he also dug out my medication and I proceeded to take the pain medication along with the migraine pills. Back to bed I went. I woke up in time to toss some makeup while feeling better but not great for the Late Thanksgiving Lunch. I ate with my friends husband, parents, grandparent, sister and co-worker, durring the desert course, I my pain started to increase again, Jason and Luka helped me back downstairs, where I took more meds and slept until the late supper of left overs. I woke up in time to get in on the tail end of left overs, I ate a little and guess what,,, I had to be helped back to my room again, MORE SLEEP.. Lovely, this is just the way everyone wants to spend their holiday's... GRRRR.
Am I mad YES! I am MAD! What can I do? I do everything I can think of to make this all be better, and nothing much seems to help. Well things help but not to the point I could actually get a semblance of my old life back. I know you can never go back you just have to focus on the future, do what you can do today! I do that, but don't ever think for a minute that I am happy about all of the pain, the limits I am confined to, and the medications! I HATE THEM!
I used to be able to impact so many other people, and now I sometimes feel as if I am making very little difference at all.
The following day after Thanksgiving was spent sleeping as well with more medication. Luka had woken me up in the middle of the night too by standing on the bed nosing me... I finally got it! He was waking me up trying to tell me I was getting sick! TAKE THE MEDS! WOO HOO! I did! I by now had them lined up and ready to go! I had already started to feel icky and so this was great! Maybe I could get a handle on this pain.
The day turned out alright, I was able to help decorate my friends home. I didn't do anything exciting to help, but I did sit on the couch and open all of the ornament boxes! I was happy I at least wasn't having to stay in bed and sleep! She and her daughter decorated the huge tree! It was great to be apart of something!
I got some sewing in too, I took more meds and by evening two days after Thanksgiving the major pain finally subsided. Phew!
My PinkDoberman Luka worked for me! I am so happy! I know he may not catch each time my pain will increase, but I am so grateful for when he will! Maybe I will be able to feel better more often, if I can catch my pain sooner.
For those of you who don't know about pain issues ( this was me before my nasty car accident ) if you don't get your medications taken soon enough and the pain grows faster than the meds can kick in you can't get it under control. No matter how much scarry medication you shove down your throat or in your IV. I really hate it, and it is really scarry for me because before the car accident I was taking absolutely no medications, we had even started talking about having kids.
I know those of you who know me know that having kids really were not on my radar or Jason's, but we were finally getting to a point in our lives where it was at least an option for us. Now we are not ever going to have them not of our own of course.
We do have Natalie here with us now, and that is great! Not at all expected, but we have known her since she was 5 or 6 and now she is 17 and her home life had gone to hell. So we are happy to have her but so sad to watch the events unfold which landed her in our laps. At least I can help her. I am happy for that.
I've got so much more to say but the food at Thanksgiving was really great! My favorite was a cornbread stuffing (I helped make it the day before). Spending the day with Jason and friends even if I was only up for a little bit was nice... I got to lay in bed and listen to everyone having fun, and that was comforting to me. I am sure thankful for my husband, friends and family! A special thanks to my sister K! Who I will talk about later!
Blessings to all!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I am constantly reminded of my G-Ma Christina. She is my inspiration! I never knew her to be upset, I grew up living right next to her and my G-Pa.. a 20 second sprint from door to door I suppose when I was a kid. I always loved going over to their house. She would have spritz cookies, or sugar cookies most times. We would bake or paint or just hang out. G-Pa would play old records of symphony concerts, concerto's, or just be watching his favorite television shows.
They lived in what would be termed as a shack. They had running water in the sink in the kitchen, took baths in a metal tub that they would pour hot water in. Their toilet was an outhouse (yes a real one). They had one car between the two of them, I don't know what they did before they retired exactly but I do know that they worked hard. They ended up having a large family, with at least one of the kids being born on the kitchen table.
My G-Ma would save foil, save containers, save old clothes, she reused them all, she made braided rugs out of her old nylons and all the old clothes. She would quilt using scraps and store her cookies in the old cottage cheese containers in the freezer. They ate government cheese which by the way I found to be the BEST CHEESE EVER! Every day they would go to the Senior Citizen Center for lunch then after lunch my G-Ma would quilt and my G-Pa would play pool. G-Ma would quilt with the ladies who thought she was no good. She would sit quietly and stitch with the other ladies most of whom didn't even speak to her.
I adored my G-Ma she was such a great role model for me, only now I am realizing the extreme impact that she's had on my life. I never heard her complain, I never heard her yell, curse, put anyone down, or gossip. She always wanted the best for everyone, and would do what she could. Their home was tiny, and full but tidy. She used everything she had, she didn't have much in her house that wasn't useful.
I never remember her watching television but she did love when G-Pa would play his music. G-Pa had built the television they used and I was always amazed by it. The atmosphere of their home inspired me. I was always happy there and would go to their home most days after school and most days during the summer.
When I went to college my aunts and uncles got together and added a bathroom to the outside of their little brick house. They installed new cabinets in the kitchen, new carpeting, and got them a newer living room set. They even got them one of those fancy recliners, that actually lift you up so you can get out of it easier.
Having spent so much time there I learned so much. Perseverance, kindness, consideration, compassion, grace, and patience are some of the qualities that my G-Ma exemplified for me. Now as I move through difficulties, I am reminded of the life that she shared with me. I am blessed, I always have been, my family is tremendous, my friends are the best, and my husband is my stabilizer.
I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes: Never, Never, Never Give Up! by Winston Churchill
My Grandmother never gave up, she stood fast and trod firmly forward, grounded in her faith knowing that God would provide. I have that same faith, as I tread forward blessed by all that I have.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I was excited as he let me hand him the sticky linoleum tiles. I got to be involved! I must say that I wasn't very good at it, but my wonderful man was super great about letting me help. I think he figured that this was something I could do with him where I wouldn't damage myself. I had a great time helping him, and he did the most perfect job in sticking and cutting each tile.
His knees by the end of the night were extremely sore from the six hours of crawling around on his hands and knees. He ended the night with most of his body aching and he fell quickly to sleep.
The following morning he woke to start on the carpet for the hall. On the floor before in the hall was a flat carpet that they had glued to the floor when our home was built, needless to say that carpet had done its job for 30+ years and it was time, actually long past time to have it replaced. Jason had already pulled up most of the carpet before when we first moved in. I think that remembering how difficult it was for him to do that remained in his mind for all these years, and held a mental block on finishing up the hall.
Thanks to some friends we had the great gift of just enough carpeting to redo our unsightly green glued down carpet. Thanks Jen and Brent!! He started on the carpet about 8am that morning and had it finished by 10am just in time to get ready to head out the door to teach a class.
My party didn't start until 2pm thank goodness. I needed all the time I could get to be ready. As I was still in my pj's I had hung out with him until the carpet was down, I now needed to get ready. Our visiting teenager was still asleep and slept through his hammering, she woke up long enough to say she was feeling miserable and we sent her back to bed to sleep. She ended up sleeping until 1pm. Meanwhile I scrambled to get myself ready. My sister shared that she would be here around noon, and that is when my friend Jen (the Longaberger Expert) and her sister and daughter would arrive. I needed to be ready.
It is so great to know you might have started something on your own, but when the time gets close to needing to have things done, everyone steps up and helps get things ready. I don't even know all of the things that they did for me in those two hours, I was focused on being dressed and ready to go, and getting everyone fed. I made chili the day before, and had asked my sister to pick up cinnamon rolls.
I do know that Jen after setting up the baskets, put the finishing touches on my bathroom, and that her sister who I also adore was setting up the trays of food along with my sister making everything just perfect. Doug the guy our visiting teenager is dating, spent some time cutting cheese into thin tiny squares, just the right size for the crackers, he also cut the sausage into little pieces as well, Jason got back from teaching just in time to go to the store to get yogurt for the fruit dip. Phew! It was all coming together, we had wine, coffee, and tea to drink, carrots, grapes, and Jen had even picked up some cranberry goat cheese along the way.
I even had another friend call to offer help if needed to get everything ready. Linda has already been the biggest help ever. She was around to help when no one even was aware that I needed help. What a blessing she has been.
I ended up having about 10 gals come over. My sister was here Jen's sister was with us, and my friend Leslie brought her sister too! How cool is that! OMG! I loved it! My mother in law came two neighbors came and some other great friends too! I had so much fun having everyone over the baskets were great too, I just really loved having everyone over to visit and catch up. It was so fun to do something nice for these awesome women who are in my life.
I loved it, I was having a great day, no medication needed, in fact the day before only a migraine pill was needed and the day before that I think went well also. Today was another great day too! The weather has been holding steady with no influx of rain or snow, no change really in the temperature and that has been making my life so much nicer! Wow, I feel like a human being again. I've even been able to do laundry, cook, and dishes on my own! Woo HOO!!!! Thrilled as can be!
Right before the party Kara placed a Mary Kay order, Susan even called today to place a Mary Kay order. I've got it ready to go out in the mail tomorrow for her. I feel very blessed to be of service to each of them!
Thanks to all of my great girlfriends! And thanks to my awesome hubby for making it all possible!
Friday, November 14, 2008
However, I have found that with out the help of others I am not able to be nearly as effective. I used to do almost everything for myself or pay for it to be done if I wanted it done. Jason of course did the great husband stuff, but we did try to do things together when possible. And he did help me out when I needed it. As did a few other people. I was always grateful for the help.
Now I need the help of others so much more. I think that is a good thing. I found and still find it VERY difficult to ASK for help. I prefer to do things on my own, which is why my wonderful PINK DOBERMAN LUKA gets to help me out. With him I feel as if I am on my own, at least more so. Jason has driven me to a couple of stores lately but he doesn't like to go in and hang out with me while I search the stores for the perfect items.
Today while shopping I went to Target and some of the things I was looking at happened to be on the bottom shelf (that's where I usually find them) the bottom shelf is hard for me to get down to many times. I find it even worse to get myself up off the floor especially when I am tired. Holding something in my hands makes it even worse but now with Luka he stands still and I basically can climb all over him. He is 100lbs so he's a pretty big guy.
Jason gets to stay in the car and I get to shop shop shop! I am loving my new freedom.
The other day I saw on TV that Old Navy had advertised $1 hats and scarves for one day only, I couldn't drive that day and so I called my friend Barb I know that she is always looking for great deals. I told her about the sale and asked if she decided to go if she could pick some up for me. While I found this hard to do I also found it to be heart warming on my part. It also gives us something else to talk about I can't wait to see what she found for me! She even got some for herself.
Having someone help or offer their help is a gratifying experience for me. I feel as if I am not alone, that I have options and a fun friend to hang out with. I am also getting to know other people that I knew before but didn't have the time to know well.
I am getting to throw a bridal shower for a neighbor. She's become a good friend since I've been stuck at home. She's helped me out and I have helped her out. I knew her before and would wave... but now I have a better friend. How fun is that?? I just love it!
Tomorrow I'm hosting a Longaberger Open House for my friend Jen who runs her own Longaberger business in addition to being a very busy professional. She is another one of my friends who does so much for me, it feels great to do something that benefits her and on top of it I get to spend time with her and lots of my other friends! I am really looking forward to hanging out and catching up with what everyone is up to.
Blessings Abundance Faith and Sharing of Gifts!
The day that the water heater arrived I also had our regular winter furnace inspection scheduled. It actually worked out great, the furnace guy arrived first, he checked out the furnace...
Well the timing part of it worked out great I guess I should have said. The furnace inspection didn't really go as expected for me. Since the furnace had been putting out warm air, I just assumed that it was working fabulously and that nothing was wrong. I was actually waiting for the " WoW" your furnace is 36 years old and still working great message. That is not the message that I was given. Ever feel your heart drop to your stomach?? Glurp!
New water heater & new furnace all in the same week, not to mention my computer still isn't up and working.... Geepers, this isn't what we needed at all! All in a matter of days! What are the chances?
Well, I am having a Longaberger party on Saturday, we do have hot water, so I will be fresh as a daisy after my hot morning shower. We have the space heaters working overtime to keep our casa comfortable. It will work out just great!
I don't think I will be getting any baskets for myself as I had planed but hey, I will get to have some girlfriend time! That will work out great! I can certainly be excited about that! I am serving wine and cheese...
Jason mentioned after the days we've had that the 7 bottles of wine that I just brought home from the store might not make it til tomorrow. We might need to start drinking now!
Oh, did I mention that we also have our teenage friend living with us now? Yes, we've accumulated another child! That story is long, but suffice it to say she is doing well since she's been with us and hope things keep out working better for her. She's been coming over to our house since she she was 7 or so just to hang out, she would sticker my Mary Kay products, and help me out, we'd just hang out too, so having her live with us works out good. She is comfortable and so are we.
She'll be staying with us off and on for a while, time has not been determined. We are glad she is here, and we are happy she is doing better.
We'll that just about wraps up our crazy week that we would all rather not repeat. We are glad that we have some heat!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Profound respect and admiration goes out from me to others that have physical limitations and/or difficulties. While having had a broken foot, I found out how fun using a wheelchair is not to mention crutches, I had always had empathy for people with limitations and tried to be a good friend and support person.
Reality sets in when daily physical limitations limit yourself. Having spent the past 4+ years in a different physical situation than I had spent the other 30+ years of my life, it has really taken some getting used to. At first I was told that I would get better, but over time that prognosis has shifted into this is just the way it is going to be, and it will gradually get more difficult.
Whoopie... You must have imagined that word was far from my mind at the time I discovered that things would only hold more difficult moments for me physically. It used to take me one hour to get ready and now it takes me two hours. Everything takes longer which means that less is possible to accomplish in a day. However, that also means that more thought goes into everything that I choose to do. I have to determine if the action or activity is worth adding to my day.
That means that my wonderful husband gets to do lots more laundry and lots more dishes, drive me lots more places and anything else that needs to be done. While I focus on things like getting my Mary Kay orders ready to go out, doing makeovers on my fabulous clients, organizing our lives and paying bills etc..
I get to do laundry, dishes, and drive just not in the quantities that I once used to be able to do. I do spend more time enjoying the scenery, appriciating what people have to say, and I must say that this whole experience is broadening my horizons in ways that I had heard about but never had the time to experience.
I was so busy before, going from place to place, planning what was next, when I was at one thing I was thinking about the next thing, I hung out with the movers and shakers, and never felt that I really was at peace. Now, while I am not at "Peace" with the way my life is, I am more grounded, I do have more time for others, I can't do as much as I used to for them, but I do have a larger listening capacity. I think that is something that I wasn't able to do before at least not often.
I do wish my body would start working better and that the pain would disappear, not to mention the massive amount of medication I've come to realize may be a permenant part of my life, although I am always trying not to have to take it.
Choices, life really is full of them. I am choosing to spend as much time as I can with people, not the movers and shakers, but on real people that appriciate what I can do now, and appriciate what I can do for them to help their life be better.
Before I was very focused on improving lives mostly with money, and teaching women how to know that they were worth being treated well. The great thing is now that I can still do both of those things but my mission seems to be going slower but maybe having a greater impact.
Who knows what the future holds and what choices I will have in my future. For now I am choosing to get my home ready so that my girlfriends can come over and hang out. A huge thanks to my awesome hubby for being the greatest hubby I could have ever asked for!
Kudos to you!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I did try coffee today with coffee mate in it for the first time. I think I like it. It was french vanilla coffeemate the sugar free kind, my friend had some and suggested it. It is even dairy free!! Woo HOO! I needed a boost and it tasted great. I don't drink coffee much at all but sometimes it just suits the day, especially as they are getting colder. I usually have hot tea.
I even precooked a couple of things for tomorrow tonight since I had the idea and the time. You never know how tomorrow goes, and this way food will be easier to prepare. The chicken is cooked and so is the corn bread! I am so in the mood for corn bread! I added cheddar cheese and some spices like the recipe suggested, I didn't add the spices the recipe suggested because I don't have them but I chose some others and I think it will be fun to try tomorrow!
Well Tchau for now!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
He's the Dr. that figured out some things to help take the major daily pain away for me so that I could sit in a chair for a little bit and read a book or sit at the kitchen table long enough to eat a meal. Before he figured that out, the pain I was having would prevent that. So for YEARS I would not be able to sit with everyone else or enjoy the same freedoms as I once had.
Today, I am experiencing some of that again.. Taking a Break for a bit.. Can't sit here at Jason's desk to type long... I'll come back to explain why
I am back now.. While I was being seen, he decided to check out my neck, by physically pushing on the bones in my neck to see where I still hurt or if I did. As I am receiving Radial Neuropothy Injections every 6 months or so that numb out all most all feeling. I knew for sure that one area was still painful, but most areas were still numb, and that this area never felt numb after this last set of injections. Which is fine, trial and error to see what works the best, I understand, as getting these injections isn't the safest thing to go through. And getting allot of them as I do isn't the best thing either. I've been able to function ok but still experience some neck pain and so I just stop activities sooner rather than later. No biggie, I still get to do things, unlike before!
But because he spent a few minutes pushing around on my neck, now all of my neck muscles are in a "flared up" state, and it is making it more difficult to hold my head up once again. I have taken some meds now so hopefully the pain will stop. But I will be resting most of today, as I feel so yucky. It is noon and I still need to eat breakfast, but just can't bring myself to eat yet. I feel nausiated, Jason shared with me that that is my word of the year! YUCK! I need to find a more fun word.
Oh, and the Dr. did end up asking about SEX? If my migraines were better or worse with SEX... Well??? That is a whole nother topic for a whole nother day... GEESH, I think Jason turned about 100 shades of red!
I did end up getting a new Mary Kay client yesterday though! That was pretty cool! She found me online and having just moved here she needed a consultant! Woo Hoo, I was able to drop off what she needed yesterday, and she is super sweet! That and the two phone orders I got from current clients were the highlights of my day! I did giggle alot when Jason turned RED!
Back to bed for now... Tchau..
Monday, October 20, 2008
I've been doing quite well lately, for me at least. My dad and his gal (Gloria) came to visit, the visit went nicely although I wish it would have lasted longer. He's a busy guy these days.
Jason and I had been pretty busy the days before their arrival getting the house ready to go. We hadn't really done anything to the inside of the house except keep it picked up for some time. Some things had fallen apart, others had gotten worn out. We did our best to get things spruced up a bit before they arrived.
I was actually amazed that I did as well as I did. I took frequent breaks and was very careful about how I did things and I managed to get quite abit done! Woo Hoo!
It is always frustrating to be the one sitting and watching while others (mostly my awesome hubby) does everything around me and for me. If I feel the slightest bit icky he won't let me do anything. I guess I don't blame him, but it sure becomes frustrating especially for someone who's used to doing what ever she wants, when she wants to, with out relying on others for help every five seconds.
I can't blame him for his protective attitude, actually I am thankful for it, I am sure that I would be in worse shape than I am now if it weren't for his support and care. I seem to be able to cause myself days to weeks of pain while doing the simplest of things. When I do that , this causes him more work, and more worry about me, so I am TRYING hard to be a good girl, and not cause either of us more icky stuff.
So my dad arrived on his own before Gloria, and we went to town and he drove me EVERYWHERE to look for more of the sticky linoleum tiles that cover our floor. We hadn't bought more in quite a while and our floor was looking particularly shabby, we only had 3 spares left and needed 2o or so. We went to Menards, Lowes, and Home Depot, in fact before we went to Lowes, Jason called to check to see if they still stocked the tiles. They said YES, so we drove clear across town to get them. As it turns out NONE of the stores carried them.... FRUSTRATION! I knew that we were going to have to start saving up for a new type of flooring, we had been hoping to stave off this more major home repair project for another year or so until we had more prominate things done... Hmmmm...
Dad was so great! He drove me around to all these places waited and helped come up with solutions, we ended up buying a few tiles of something different, just so we would have something to put on the floor... But I certainly wasn't happy with this solution but, it would have to do I figured.
We left Lows just in time for Dad to drop me off at home before he went to pick up his Canadian Girlfriend, she was to arrive that night. They went to visit friends before coming back to see us, and in the mean time we were able to finish some more projects.
Here is what the floor currently looks like..
It used to cute, and now it is a tripping hazard as little pieces keep flaking off. Yes, it was one of the least expensive floor tiles, but it also suited our style.
Dad and Gloria called before arriving, we had gotten the bright idea of calling around to other flooring suppliers, we turned out to be so lucky! Mrs's B's had tiles on SALE at 9 cents per tile, that was like $4.80 per box HUGE DISCOUNT! They weren't exactly what we were looking for but at that price we could afford to redo our whole floor. To make it even better they were of a much better quality, and Dad and Gloria agreed to go to the store and get them for us! Woo Hoo!
So now we have a huge stack of boxes in our garage! This will be a great project for Jason to do on a cold and rainy/snowy day! We will have a better floor and we will have gotten a great deal on it, and since my Dad was needing some Mary Kay products, I made him a trade since he had paid for the tiles at the store.
We ended up having a pretty quiet visit, we decided to go out for Chinese as it was past supper time when they arrived at our house. We decided to take the car..
We had just gotten seated into Dad's car that he lets me drive since mine was totaled in the accident, and the following one that I had earned in my MK business I had to give back because I wasn't able to work enough, and he doesn't use this car as he is usually pulling a fifth wheel around the continent, Jason started it up and it wouldn't turn over... (how embarrassing). We've really tried to be nice to this car as it isn't ours, and we are grateful for the use of it, and it doesn't and won't start. Dad even tries it... We end up moving all of Dad and Gloria's stuff over and taking his truck to the restaurant. I got ill on the way home and spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, I was so exhausted from all of the work preparing for their visit. The next morning I made Dad and Gloria breakfast, Dad and Jason started working on the car to make it work, and even made a trip into the city to get parts. I hooked Gloria up with a movie, and I continued fixing up the house picking up more things and finishing rearranging. (There is still more to do, is it ever done???)
I ordered Pizza which Jason and Dad picked up, I was so tired, I couldn't think of having to make something for lunch, I did however get Taco Soup started, a recipe I had just gotten from Miss Mary Belle! (She was one of my Mom's Hospice nurses, she became a Mary Kay client and is now a great friend and our resident "Grandma") So I did have supper figured out, I still felt icky, so after we all ate pizza I slept while the boys continued work on the car. I woke in time for supper, and to find they couldn't fix the problem on the car on their own.
Soup was great followed by a movie and then off to bed! We all got up the next morning, Dad and Gloria off to the next sister's house, and Jason and I off to the Dr's office then my neuromuscular massage appointment.
Today, I ended up talking with my Career Coach, she is helping me figure out what options are available for me as my life moves forward. I will talk more about this transition later. I have so much to say, but I can't type for that long at this moment. As I am sure you are tired of sitting here and reading what I have written.. Hee Hee.
So for now tchau!!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
So, that has meant for the past several month's since they've given me problems, I have had to sit in a regular chair instead of my bed to do anything on my computer.
So understanding that the best way for me to be pain free, or have the least amount of pain is to sit in a slightly reclining position with my legs propped up. So this is the way I have spent the past 4 years, and will be spending much time I guess.
So I can't wait for my new cord to arrive so that I can have my computer back on my lap so that I can type more pain free. So enough about my (aching complaining..) pain in the back..
I am excited also, as my new helper "LUKA" is becoming my constant companion. This is taking some getting used to not only from Luka, but from me as well, not to mention my wonderful hubby Jason. As I am wobbley, get dizzy, (yes- I am also blonde so I've been given a double whammy) get migraines, sciatica, back pain, bursitis, arthritis, numbness, tingling, stabbing pain, and can't see good sometimes. HMMM... really I am not that old! But my 78 year old neighbor, has many of these same issues as well, and sometimes I feel as if I can't even keep up with her.
Luka, is around to help me with staying stable on my feet, as I (frequently) have problems, getting up from the floor, I get down just great, sometimes too great! Helping me on the stairs, especially those stair cases with out a great rail or two. When I can't see as well he is good for steadying me on my feet, as well as when I am dizzy. Since my migraines can come on very quickly he will also stay by me while my med's start working. He is also able to help me with various other things as well.
Luka is a 98lb doberman. He is a blue doberman, dobermans come in black, red, fawn, and blue. They are known for being "velcro dogs" meaning that they love to stick to you like velcro. They are very attentive and are great family dogs as well, those of you who've known me for some time know that I've already had two dobe's and he's our third! I would have never guessed that I would end up needing a service dog, but since Jason works ALLOT, I am glad that my service dog ended up being a dobe!
He is a gift, someone else had trained him and couldn't use him any longer due to progressive health issues, and we ended up finding each other. How great for all of us involved!
Luka may even end up being able to tell me when a migraine is beginning, so that I can take my meds sooner and have less problems and need less medications. But even if he is never able to do that, he has already proven himself to be a blessing to me, by giving me the opportunity to be more independent.
No one wants to go out into public, go into a store, grab something off the bottom shelf and not be able to get back up on your own and have to wait for someone to give you a hand... No one also wants to get a migraine while alone, and far from your hotel room, not being able to see, and not knowing anyone around to get help from, getting dropped off from the taxi driver at the wrong entrance to the hotel, because you were in so much pain, and you were so scared of being alone and not able to communicate properly, not being able to make it up the stairs to the hotel on your own and having to wait for some one gracious enough to take time out of their schedule to help you inside. And help you to your hotel room.
See, these things have happened to me.. amongst other things, and when you are not able to do basic things for yourself but you look perfectly normal wow! It becomes very difficult! The checker looking at you like you've got four heads when you insist that you need help out with the bags... etc..
Jason is always so great about helping me with everything, so mostly over these past 4 years the only places that I've gone have been with him. Early on I tried to do it all on my own, or as much as possible, but when I get migraines so often and they don't come with a warning, that became impossible.
Other people's lives are busy with the event's that they have going on and I am always ever so grateful when someone offers to pick me up on the way to an event, or invites me to a party and arranges a ride for me. Many times this is the only way that I've been guarenteed that I can go somewhere. I love the walls of my home, inside and out, but it sure is nice to be with others outside of them!! I have the best friends ever!!
As I don't drive much, the car that I have isn't comfortable to drive at all, some are better for me than others, but this one is the worst, but I am very grateful for it of course!! It gives me the choice of being able to go downtown! And that is GREAT! I look forward to getting a car that supports my spine and my arms! So that I can drive more than 30 minutes with out being in terrible pain.
That being shared, I am writing all of this here to give those in my life with questions about what is going on with me to find a place to understand what I am going through with out myself or Jason having to go over it and over it. We understand that you care about us and we would like you to know what is going on but, we are really focusing on making our lives the best that they can be, doing as much as we can and being as positive as possible! We are happy to answer questions too! And to talk about what is going on with us, hopefully this blog will give you a basic understanding. Feel free to ask away!!
Some day's I am quite active, and others not so much. As I write more you will understand that better.
But for now, I've really got to go, my arms and hands are falling asleep as I type.. GRRR...
Tchau for now!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Today is October 5, 2008 I wrote this some time ago, It should give you an idea... Please forgive all of my spelling and gramatical errors, I've never been the greatest at that and when you combine pain and medication, well, the effort is extreem just to get it typed out for me, so I am happy with that, error's and all!
BLOG Day One of writing...August 6, 2005
Today is a new day!! Well this month is my Mary Kay Anniversary and the one year after my car accident marker. With the popularity of online Journals I thought I might begin one for myself. My husband pointed out to me that it has been ONE WHOLE YEAR since I was in my car accident. Everyday has seemed to blurr together for me this year I have to admit. It used to be that everyday contained some new exciting adventure. I would meet new people do something great that would make them feel a bit better. I would go someplace I had been a million times before or I would travel to some entirely new destination. But this year has been an incredible year. One year ago I was driving from a consultants home in The City to a client's office. I was driving down the street remarking to myself that I was so excited to be early for my next appointment. (Many who know me, know that I struggle with this.) Anyway, I come up a bit slower because this intersection had been deemed special by the road department, Where I see a man in his car on my right side looking at the traffic in the opposite direction (I could see that he planned to make a turn) I watched him as I was comming very close to his intersection I had slowed down a bit because there was this flashing warning light above that intersection and I waited for him to turn my direction and see me. You know how we all love to be noticed. Well that's what I thought this man would be doing next. Oh boy was I wrong. Zoom he seemed to fly out from his stopped position. I knew exactly what was going to happen next. I was already right there. He had never turned and looked my direction. Wow I was in SHOCK and trying as hard as I could to STOPPPPPPPP! BLAM!!!!!!!! the next thing I know I am stunned dizzy and coughing. Wow this is not how my day was supposed to be. You see I had plans to go see my client who incidentally is my counselor, she is helping me get over these NASTY Post Tramatic attacks that I have. I was going to show her these great new colors and then I was going to go home and feel much better about myself for getting through the junk in my head.Well life sure does have a funny way of making changes. Well mine it seems had had a glitch that day. My husband being a firefighter I have been on several accident scenes... He tells me what happened and things like that. I was still sitting there Airbag fully inflated I can't breath, My arms amazingly I thought were sticking streight out Locked and forming a wedge between myself and the steering wheel my foot was planted so strongly against the brake that I could feel my hip pressed clear back into my seat. I am not sure how long I sat like that things seemed to go in slow motion from then on. I remember thinking my car is still running. I had better shut it off. I felt around for my key. I was relieved to hear the engine quit. As the air bag started to deflate. I began checking out myself. My head My hands well you know the drill. I seemed to be all in one piece, I later found out that I would have been much better off if something had broken. Breaks heal much faster than other types of injuries I have found out.I didn't feel as if anything were broke but I sure did not feel good. It seemed like several minutes before some nice girls came to my car. I sat there durring that time wondering what had happened to the other driver. I had watched my car slam into his just behind the drivers door. Right before we collided I saw him see me. That must have been pretty scarry I was right, I mean right there. I saw his eyes get wide and then mine closed as impact happened. I wasn't able to get out of my car the frame around my door had gotten stuck and my hands and arms felt funny. So when the girls came over to my car I and asked if I was alright I said yes. That made me feel so much better just knowing that I had someone there with me. I asked them how the man in the other car was. They said that other people were helping him. They called the ambulance and the police and then I used their phone to call Jason who was at work.... Wierd to be calling him to help me. I had had to use their phone as that morning I forgot mine and decided that it would be better to forget my phone than to be late and driving too fast. Huh, it amazes me how life works. Had I turned around to get the phone I would have.... well anyway I am usually on it and that wouldn't have been good either.Well Jason the Ambulance and the Police were all on their way. The ambulance arrived first and they got me loaded up. I know to always get checked out. Jason's advice. Odley enough my friend from High School was on the Fire Crew that came to the scene. That also made me so happy. The doctors told me after xrays that nothing was wrong I was just banged up and would be better in a couple of weeks go home and rest. So I was pretty happy about that...The two weeks went by and I was no better my doctor told me it sometimes takes a couple of months. Ok I decided I will give it another month....... Sometimes up to 6 months...... well somepeople don't heal that fast mabey a year..... Well it's been a year today. Therapy Massage Work Out Dr's Dr's ER...... These things are still apart of my regular routine. I get migraines. The other pain in my body, I could still do lots of things while I have that, but the migraines, that's another story. I think they are clusters and I am now in search of anything I can do to stop getting them!!!! They happen sometimes 2 per week I wish they called before they came but they always show up unannounced. As you can imagine this makes scheaduling difficult. My opportunity now is to live my life around these episodes. Right now I am to have no stress and have nothing to do. No lifting Bending you know the drill not too much driving or really anything that could agrivate my neck (that is where the problem is).... I have had some really bad episodes again lately. So I am now taking it easy. Those are SCARRY. I held an On The Go Appointment today.... except SHE CAME TO ME. That works so great. I plan to have many more of those about one per day! Well until tomorrow...
Sunday, August 7, 2005
Mig today.... but I took my meds and listened to 4 church services on the TV and Internet.... I especially loved the Hour of Power Message http://www.hourofpower.org/booklets/bookletdetail.cfm?ArticleID=3888 and Joel Osteen's http://www.joelosteen.com/site/PageServer?pagename=OnlineStreaming messages. Click on the addresses to see what they said. Sometimes it is so easy to get in the negitive spirit.... I seem to have been a bit discouraged lately. But to day I feel so fabulous I have wonderful new knowledge to use everyday.No weapon formed against me will prosper. I believe every day I am getting stronger and healthier. I am living a healthy life. I believe I have women flocking to me and my dream. I believe I am infleuncing others to create dreams and follow them. I believe I have no more migraines. I am claiming this from the Lord. I believe I have no more pain. No weapon formed against me will prosper. God brings me new clients continuously. I have no fear in sharing my dream with them. New clients and current clients are extremely loyal to me and are constantly bringing others to me for my services and my dream. I have a positively disciplined mind. I guard the doorway to my mind with God's positive word. I expect the best and I get what I expect. God Blesses me and those around me abundantly. Today is the day of Salvation. I am on the road to victory.I am not ashamed of my relationship with the Lord, Jesus will not be ashamed of me when he brings me to his Father.I am starting with a fresh clean slate today I have asked God for forgiveness Numbers 6:24-26 I am so excited! .......
August 8, 2005
I am reminded today of who I am. I am a person who never gives up, Always stays in the race, keeps looking forward. I am ever trying, I complete what I start. I have an unquenchible thirst for the next thing.. the future. I know tomorrow always brings new opportunities. I am so grateful for the person I am which makes it very hard to sit still and stay quiet. The Dr.'s want no stress in my life and I intend to be committed to my goal of becoming an even better person than I was before. Today was a day of REST, Jason and I had one appointment to make it to today with a quick lunch after followed by a much needed nap. Wow, I had been needing that. Today is my day to take it easy. I can't wait to start tomorrow and begin printing off my newsletter to you. I am so proud to be your director. Oh, I got 2 more MK orders. I love hearing from my clients. And I love hearing from you too.... So keep the calls comming. until tomorrow XO
Aug 9, 2005
Well another day is comming to an end. I am so excited. Do you believe that when you are ready everyone around you will be ready too? Well this month certainly has been heading that direction for me. I have been having so many of you calling saying that you are wanting to jumpstart your business! I LOVE IT! I have seen Denise K, Rebecca M, Monika L, Judy S, Lisa C, and spoken with Tricia H, Leanne M, Robyn P, and Julie P-S. WOW am I excited to watch you light up. As I have said I am living Vicariously through you for the moment. Yes, I am selling things and I have a class or two here and there. But I don't feel as if I am able to do what I really dream about. But through you I can. I am so excited for the classes on your books and the interviews you have planned. Today was awesome not only did I feel great but so many of you have been calling emailing and stopping by I feel so great. I have decided that I feel the best when I am helping someone else get what they want out of their life and their business. I FEEL FABULOUS! So don't hesitate to get in touch with me----- for any reason. I love to be bugged bothered bored and all the good things to-- by YOU! YOU Make me feel important!Thanks so much!XO TonjaAugust 10, 2005Great Day Great Day, It started off slow with an ache or two but thanks to my set up here I was able to work through it. I LOVE IT! Your August newsletter is on its way. I am reminded that I need to get my New PCP order in that's a good project for tomorrow after my Dr appt. Jason left today for TX to see his best friend get a promotion and to spend 5 days with him and his family. So for me it is a great opportunity to get well. I am so excited LeAnn M you called exactly when you said you would... and with another booking. Wow I love it. YOU ARE SERIOUS. This will change your life. Today besides getting your newsletters out to you I ran off CD's of the Latest and Greatest MK idea a MK ROCKS PARTY. I am so excited I can't stand it. I have been listening to it alot. AND I have added the supporting materials to my website... Training Center, Skin Care Class & Party Ideas then Click on the MK ROCKS Box! I can't wait to start holding them they are all the Rage! I feel so good to have worked through my aches... Yes I am still in bed resting and not being stressed out... I am having a ball! I love helping you get your businesses jumpstarted. You are such women of excellence. Today I also spoke with my neighbor Executive Sr. Sales Director Amy K. She is doing awesome and I handed off our newsletter to her. So she is reading what you'll be reading. I am so proud to be representing you. And Tricia even signed into the guestbook... Just as you said you would. Way to go gals! It is so much easier to sit here knowing you are all out making your dreams happen. I love hearing about your success's and interesting stories. I can't wait until tomorrow!
August 11, 2005
Today has been so busy for me.... I didn't plan for it to be but you know how that works. PT appt...Then off to the gym for an Arthritis Water Class, Drive Thru lunch and then home to clean out my office (DISASTER!!!!). I had problems with my printer two days ago and my warrenty assures me of someone comming over to fix it. I had to clean it so he would have a place to work... He made it and 4 hrs later I am getting a brand new printer!!!! YEAH! And I have your surprises almost ready to go... As soon as I recieve my new printer I will be sending them out. I had been hoping that the unexpected extra activity that I did today would be taken in stride. But as I am writing this earlier than usual I have just taken more medicine. Which I hope will start to work before I feel any worse. Tomorrow I have even more plans... by the way have I mention how much I love my Mary Kay Website. I love getting that Happy little email saying I have a new customer order. I've been getting so many of them. YaHOO!! Well I am off to rest so this medicine will work faster... I hope.
August 12, 2005
Well today has been a day of rest for me. The med's didn't work so good and I didn't end up sleeping. However, I seem to have made up for it today. I am now more awake and with more med's I am now having a bit of relief from my head. Some day's my hardest decision is wheather or not to go into the Emergency Room. Today was one of those days. Tomorrow has to be better! I know it will.
August 14, 2005
I just noticed I had skipped a day in here... Oh,well. Today turned out great. I woke up that way. It was a great day. After the last two it is so nice to get a good one. I got to see my friend for lunch who introduced me to two more ladies, I think I will get two bookings! Then I went and dropped off a Miracle Set to one gal she had already introduced me to. And tonight I added her to my PCP. Then, I met with Valerie B. she has become my newest team member, her sister is having a Pink Party with me next week. Her sister showed her the recuiting info in the Hostess Packet that I had sent and SHE CALLED ME!! She is going to be great. We met today and she got started. This happens so often I love it. And Jason even is returning LATE tonight from a week long trip to TX. He had a blast! Well until tomorrow.
AUGUST 18, 2005
Well I am finally home again....so glad. I hated that I got sick I am so excited about my year. I have another new team member who will be signing into the guestbook very soon to introduce herself. And so many of you are doing so great I want to be right there with you to support you. The medicine that I need to take to get rid of my migraines is so strong that when I don't eat right and take very good care of myself it causes my body to shut down. I had a blockage that with a little extra care in the hospital was released. I am back to doing less than I want but at least I have all of you doing great things that I can hear about and be crazy happy for you! I am still in LOTS of pain. But it has started to disipate. I look forward to lots of more phone calls emails and guestbook signin's . There are some new things you need to be aware of that I have posted to the site this week. I would love for you to come to Awesome Autumn Advance with me and I would love for you to get all of your clients contacted the next couple of months before the TV adds go out. CLICK on the TV on the home page to find out why. Check the Unit Message Center for details on the AA and more about the TV adds from Pam Shaw. I have lots of clients that I need to contact myself and I have an idea for those of you who live in areas where I have clients. Give me a call!I look forward to tomorrow where my plan is that I am well enough to travel to my PT appt. And on Saturday I will be RESTING ALL DAY AGAIN!! And Sunday I have an EXCITING Pink Party that I am doing in Omaha. If you want to go with me and be my assistant let me know. I already have one assistant I could use a couple more. Starts at 3:30. Let me know. Until tomorrow.
August 19, 2005
Well it is 2 minutes till midnight and I am so excited I can hardly sleep. I called the hostess for my Pink Party tonight and she already has confirmed excited guests, she is working on getting more and getting outside orders. I have so far 2 New Consultants that will be joining me and we are going to ROCK! I can't wait to get her all the FREE MK she can earn. I have also just finished updating our website a bit more. I am loving it. If you ever need any Ideas this site is FULL OF THEM. WOO HOO!!!Today was bill paying day. I have more orders on my MK Website to fill and I have already had customers order the new color sets. Since I've been ill I hadn't gotten them ordered! OOPS> I am still in BED but Hey I am feeling better still very sore and achey but I am on Fire I can't wait. Tomorrow I am on the PHONE ALL DAY. It is going to be so exciting! Give me a call I'd love to hear from you. I have a great time here in my bedroom office with my Laptop and my pillows. I am building my business anyway I can and I am excited about it. YOU are all on FIRE! I love it! It's already tomorrow. Go check out the changes to the home page and the training center there are LOTSSSSS of them. WOW it was fun getting them!
August 20, 2005
Well the phone thing didn't work out the best today. I ended up not sleeping again last night and got a mig. So I am once again medicated. I did however rest all morning and afternoon. And this evening feel better. So I am printing some hostess packets for my class tomorrow. I am so excited about that I can't wait. I am using the Girlfriend Party info and the MK Rocks info. It is so cool!
August 21, 2005
Today is a great day. I am feeling good after waking up really late and I am off to work on my hostess packets and Girlfriend Party supplies. I have finally gotten the printer working. I am doing a Girlfriend Party this afternoon. The party went well and I had help from Rebecca Middelton and my newest consultant Valerie Barlow. They made my day easy and had a great time learning. I am excited for both of them to see what I am doing and how. When I got home I headed over to a client's house to drop off a reorder of the Timewise set. I love selling something that washes down the drain every morning and every night. Now it is off to rest.
Aug 22, 2005
Didn't sleep again last night, waking up with a mig again. This is getting soooo old. I had to get up early to go to the Dr's. Sprained neck and more.... off to the Neurologist next week. And a change of Med's to stop my spazing muscles... YEAh. I can't drive with any of my meds now which limit my activities even more. But that's the price I will pay for stopping the pain. To the bank to deposit my weekend $ and home to rest for the day. I got to talk to so many people today! I am so happy. Judy S, Valerie B, NSD Eloisa J. in Brazil, Fernanda, Debora, Natalie, and Robyn P. Lots of great plans going on and more fun to be had. I am excited. I found out that my unit in Brazil is growing like crazy. This makes me so happy. I am truly blessed by the most wonderful women. I am so thankful for each on of you. Until tomorrow.... I hope to be working out and I have Dr's orders to get some sun.
August 27th Saturday
Today, I stayed home and Jason took some things to the church for the garage sale and we cleaned out some things from the house. I also called 4 pages of my PCP list to follow up. Only 32 more to go. I have orders comming in. I am so excited. I haven't been writing in much a little spacy I guess. I have been to Dr's appts this week both Thursday and Friday and then followed up with H2o Aerobics. Tomorrow I am off to Papillion to do a great debut for Valerie! I am super excited. Sorry not to remember much more... but it has been a good pain free day. I am off to supper at the neighbors and then my meds.... Yipee...
August 29th Monday
Wow, have you ever thought you were doing nothing and then had more on your plate than you had realized. Well that's how I have been feeling. Talking to many of you I know that is how you deal with life on a daily basis... funny I really wonder what I did before... You see I have stopped doing almost EVERYTHING that I used to do. I don't do much around the house at all, no extra activities except Dr's visits and 1 Mary Kay appointment a week. But I have still found plenty to do. I am supposed to be not stressing out and taking it easy. So I am trying. It is like a full-time job trying to not do anything that might hurt my neck. Crazy is how it feels. I have so many fun things I want to be doing with all of you.I hope the CD's that I sent to you were a welcome surprise. I loved this CD. I found it not only to be funny but to be a great idea. I am already using the ideas and the jokes.. I am not the best at them but I am improving I have used them 2x so far. I hope you check out the supporting materials in the training center. Yesterday for the first time Jason went to the gym with me. It was so nice for him he had time to relax before going off to work. I got to go to do my new consultant Valerie's Debut. It sure was fun. She is going to do just great. I then came home and rested I had planned on calling more of my fabulous clients but my cel phone didn't work and needed updating. So that is what I did today.Dr's appt first thing this morning! Then off to get my phone fixed. Waiting for that to be done we ate bagels and went to the mall for the first time in over a year. I couldn't believe that I hadn't been shopping for that long. It seemed so wierd to be in the mall. I think I used to live at them. We hurried home so Jason could make it to work and I needed to rest. So here I have been for the rest of the day. We have tomato's in our garden. So I froze them today and I have begun making packets for our growing unit in Brazil. I am now watching the news at midnight here about the Katrina Hurricane, and thinking of Denise who is in FL. And all of those people who's lives will be changed. It seems like yesterday when I would have been one of the people activated to go assist with the recovery. It seems almost a life time ago. Well, Jason just got home and now we will go to sleep. Until tomorrow.
September 9, 2005
I haven't been in the mood to write lately I guess. I don't know if that there hasn't been that much exciting going on or if I felt like I would be repeating myself. Either way today is a new adventure for me. Jason has just left for Atlanta GA where he will go thru some new training before heading down to help the folks on the Gulf Coast. He is excited about being able to do something that he hopes will help someone. I am also excited for him as well. It has been pretty frustrating for him this past year. He wants to be able to fix me and make it all better. A thought that would be wonderful but as it happens has been impossible. Watching my pain levels go through the roof and having no way to feel like he is able to do anything has been very difficult for him. I am glad he gets to go on this "vacation" and find something that he can do that will make a definate difference. And it is always good to be apart from your spouse for a while. You seem to appriciate everything they do and who they are so much more. It is such a grateful experience. I think that is one of the reasons we get along so well. We each have a huge mutual respect for the other. Not to mention love and all of that. On another note. Since the Hurricane has struck I have been feeling more and more like I want to help others as well. As most of you know that is also what I am completely about. And just as my husband was unable to fix me. I have felt unable to help others, well at least as much as I used to. So I have begun this pink cadi carrivan idea. Tricia, Julie, and are all apart of it as well as other Units accross the US. I am calling all of my clients in the next 6 days to take their orders and set up some followup appointments with them as well. It is my plan to raise as much money as possible to help. And get my business tracking as well. I am so excited.My pains seem to be taking a turn, I believe for the better. I am having some hope finally with a new combinations of meds. I am still doing NOTHING!!! Which is sooo borring! But hey I will take it. I really want to get better as soon as possible. Then I can get back to my fun with all of you! I definately can't wait for that!September 17, 2005Today was a fabulous day. I got to go to the grocery store. When I got home I made some crackers and started making some cheese cake. I am so happy it really felt good. I haven't been doing the best some days lately and the med's I've been having to take make it so I can't drive. So life has been a little dull. I had good news though, Rhonda DeBey surprised me by becoming a Star for the First Time, and finishing up her Lipstick Challenge. Judy Sternberg finished up Emerald and the LC, and Robyn Patton finished up Ruby and LC. What a fun day the 15th was. I am back to walking at the gym and some more activity around my house. It is so strange to have Jason gone. He is in Baton Rouge and today made a trip to New Orleans. He says it is soooooo bad. A ghost city. Erie.... I am open to ideas dealing with siatic nerves. I have never had such a soar backside in my life. My acupuncturist usually takes the pain away but she is on vacation.... OUCH. Only 1 mig this past week which happened the day after I went to see my Dr. I go to that appointment and get all wiggled around to see how I am doing... then Kabluuie. Anyhow other days have been much better, thanks in part to me not doing anything. And in part to my new meds. I am hoping to continue to get better. I am working hard everyday to do things that will get me better. I have some excersises that I can do at home and then on days that I can travel to the gym I do what I can there. Until next time.November 4, 2005Interesting things... I am writing today, excited about this weekend. Therahlee's Color Party, Judy's Holiday Party, Next weekend Sheila's Debut! What fun. I keep thinking that I am getting better but at the same time I also feel as if nothing has changed. I had been thinking that the Mig's had gotten fewer. I now believe that I am just getting them under control faster so they don't take up the entire week. How ever this last one seems to have caused me 3 days of Yuck! I am however feeling better tonight! Which I am so grateful for. I am very excited to be rid of this one. Jason has asked me to stay quiet for the past days and the next week or so. Which I will be doing, I am very excited to be Migraine FREE! These last few days were once again doozies. I have stopped writing everyday as things haven't seemed to have changed that much. I feel as if I am writing some of the same things over and over again... And I really hate dwelling on all of the bad things. So I will just update everyonce in a while. I know things are improving and I am feeling slowly as if things are improving. I am excited about how all of you are doing with your businesses and I have some great ideas to share. Thoughts of you and your greatness and to better tomorrow's.
Hey, things are getting better I think!!! I am taking tons of a natural suppliment Ambertose... I am having alot more energy,, and so far my migs have become less frequent and less powerful. THAT'S the plan!!! I had been taking just a little of this prior to this week.. I went to an event and got the idea to take LOTS... so I am trying it. I will keep you posted. I went to a game on Saturday.. took some meds and went to P-Burg KS up and back in one day NO MEDS!! then yesterday I held an open house in Lincoln and took some meds.... Today I am RESTING!!! Mabey the gym. I am currently sitting in my office recliner typing to you and making your Holiday Presents..... He Hee HO HO HO!!! I can't wait for you to get them! ........................................
Well it is crazy lately... I had thought I was improving so much.. I think for the most part I am. I keep having set backs. Yesterday I got up feeling great went to draw my bath, bent over and WHAMMY something in my neck shifted causing MAJOR PAIN! I am back to hanging out in bed with my head and neck supported. And when you see me I might be wearing a brace. I went to the Dr. today... He found the problem. Worse than origionally thought C5, C6 are completely unstable, I had another MRI today, boy was that fun 30 minutes of complete stillness. LOVE THOSE...... AND My next appointment is off to see the NeuroSURGEON. I have that appointment on the 16th. I have appointments booked and I will be at them but I COULD USE YOUR HELP! Check out the Calender Page let me know if you want to go. I have got lots of things in the works so don't hesitate to reach me. I am not letting this slow me down much. I am just being more cautious and not doing what I don't have to do.Prayers are appriciated.
End of what I wrote at that time.