Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Pretty good day today, I've been to my regular Dr. to get some things sorted out. That is always a good thing. She is so great about listening to me and helping me solve what problems I am having!

Then we traveled into the city, we grabbed some lunch went to the bank the auto parts store and Petsmart for MORE dog food! Geesh dogs eat allot!

Each day I get up, I hope to learn something new, to push myself a little more and to squeeze more into my day or more out of it. Focusing on this really helps me keep motivated, keep my spirits up and helps me to improve myself.

Even if it is a little each day, I might not finish one task in a day anymore, but over time I am able to finish anything! I like that, it has really made me focus on finishing what I start! I have an idea to finish all of my projects before I really start taking on new ones.

In fact, I've even been finishing some projects that my mother had started when she was alive. I love my mom, but she had issues with finishing what she started, I think somehow she shared that gift with all three of us girls. We each struggle with it in different ways.

Right now I am fixing a quilt that I made for Jason, it is a pretty cool quilt, at least I think so, I cut up all of his old tee-shirts the ones he would wear when he was a rock star, and I made a king size quilt of them all so they would be preserved. Some of them had been getting quite thin.

Well this king size project was my first quilt, and I missed a couple of stitches here and there, so I am going back over it by hand to make sure the seams are all sturdy. I love this quilt I made it prior to 2004 thank goodness, otherwise I am just sure that I would still be working on finishing it! My friend Jen and newer friend Jen go on these trips with me and others pop in occasionally. Jen has helped me in this endeavor to make Jason's quilt, at least once a year we do a ladies weekend! We go for 2 days and just focus on quilting, crafting, scrapbooking, reading, or whatever. This was one of the projects I worked on on our weekends together. Their quilts are much fancier ones, but I am happy with the one I made. It suits Jason, lots of flannel, and a heavy cotton batting, it provides great snuggle qualities!

Now on these weekends I bring smaller projects, as my need to finish what I start is the goal! This last one, I just went to it with the intention of helping them with their projects, but mostly sat on the couch watching them work and enjoying their company. It was a good break for me that month, I hadn't been able to get out of the house much as Jason was working his ass off! My friends provided a perfect outlet to have some girl time! It is so great that they put up with me even though I am definately not as much fun as I used to be.

I can't wait to get back to being able to travel all over! That is one of the things that I have always planned my life to do. Don't get me wrong, I love to be home as well, even more than I used to I will admit. Before my accident I was NEVER home! I was always off doing something I found to be fun or exciting, mostly involving my work. I loved it! Jason would go with me when he could, and we just planned our lives to be lived on the go!

He loved that too! As his job provides many days in a row off each month if we would choose, so we could take many mini vacations, and even some for a month! I remember our last big trip to Brasil, Jason had never been to the ocean before, and I was able to take him to the Atlantic Ocean off of the coast of Brasil after having traveled around the country for three weeks, come home and with in a week of having been in the Atlantic, we were in California in the Pacific! A dream come true for him! How cool was that?

I don't write these things to be braggy, but just to share how much fun we've had traveling, and how much we love to do new things. We both watched the movie "The Bucket List" receintly, I think we each have one of those, while not clearly defined at the moment, we will be working on what we want to do or accomplish before we die. Not from a morbid prospective, but a list filled with things that will bring joy to others or enrich our lives. Jason's list includes things like walk on the moon, fly in Airforce One, cruise the Nile, ... the list is infinate. Mine, well mine will be more defined I think before mine might have included many grand seeming things, but now, well, one thing I definately would like to do is open the eyes of others so that they may experience life at a different leval, Ok so I know that doesn't make much sense and it may not seem defined... but here is one small example of what I mean.

Our teenage friend who's living with us, her life hasn't always been the easiest, I don't know if easy is something that should even be someone's goal, I have always found that the things that are harder to obtain, that require more of yourself, that push your limits are the ones that are to be the most treasured. But still when you are a child you should be allowed to be a child, not have piles of adult responsibilities heaped upon you. So while she is living with us, we are trying to open up her eyes to a different world, a world which isn't easy to live in either, but a world that is full of possibilities! Endless Possiblities, all she would have to do is make a choice of what she would want, and then work to make it happen.

I see so many people give up on their dreams, most of the time, they are almost to atain them, and then they just let everything fall away in to nothing. It has happened to me earlier in my life. It is a great learning opportunity to pick yourself up and hold yourself high and give it an even harder effort in achieving your goal. Never giving up!

I want her to know that she doesn't have to live the life she was brough up in, that she can choose the type of life that she wants and make it happen for herself. And while learning and growing each step may be painful, but the successes that she would experience while getting to her goal would be personally gratifing. I don't care if her passion is to make minimum wage or if it is to make a million each year, but she should know that she can choose! She is the one who settles for what is available easily, or works hard to get what she has her heart set on.

So many people settle, they stop fighting just before the greatness comes into their lives, and so many others, never even start on the path. Few people it seems actually finish what they've started. While you may think that getting the prize at the end is the reward, the reward is actually all of the times you've learned to pick yourself off, hold yourself high, and keep on going, having learned from your mistakes so as not to repeat them. Moving on to different mistakes or different ways of seeing the world or percieving the world.

That is what I wish I could watch everyone experience. That is what I wish I could be apart of others experience. That is what I miss most about my travels, the people, the women, the families, and the children, learning that they can dream, and that thier dreams can become their reality! Whether in Cuiaba, Kansas, New Hampshire, Sao Paulo , Hawaii, or at home that I was able to impart this message to them. The scenery was just a bonus for me!

I am dreaming!

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