Tuesday, December 28, 2010
While our time has flown by quickly this December Jason and I have spent some good time together. We have also had some very nice times (although short) with our families. Unconventional at times but filled with love. A few presents, and some quality time remembering why we enjoy spending time together.
All of this has led to me having some extreme exhaustion issues. It is a very good thing that our events have not coincided. Today has been another day of rest. I had planned to get much more done than happened today. But I guess things have a way of working out. I will count on that.
I am typing right now but really all that I feel like doing is sleeping, of course last night that is exactly what my body did not want to be doing. Oh well. I managed to buy my first kindle book. THREE CUPS OF TEA... I have been wanting to read it for a while, I'd even borrowed a copy of it, but haven't been able to get it read, arms get to tired holding the book up.
I'd like to type more, but I just sliced open my finger.... so it is adieu for now.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Yes it has been forever since I have written again. I’ve tried. It isn’t that I haven’t thought about it or haven’t started writing several things.
Nothing seemed to work, nothing was able to be finished. Just blurbs of bits.
I was reminded again that I should write. My husband doesn’t know if he is still married to me or not. He was joking of course. But this is where he goes to find out what is going on in my mind. I told him we could talk… he wasn’t that keen on that idea.
Which isn’t to surprising.. I don’t seem to be able to keep my mind tracking on the same subject when I speak. I think I do fairly well when I write, but I still jump from subject to subject, leave things out, or forget to follow up with a subject I have started but then I think I did..
The new lenses: I have been acclimating to them. I can walk better than when I first got them. Things are getting better I think, although it still feels as if my thinking processes are all jacked up. I still get tired way to fast. I hope that can be helped.
I have been working on several developing projects. That has been keeping me busy, and I am learning more as I go along as well! I like that. I like to feel productive and that I am learning new things.
I’ve been “gifting” Jason with things this month as well. It has been fun. He’s gotten snow boots, socks, and a couple of shirts. He got me a computer. It doesn’t really compare. I just got it today, I am downloading and backing up files as I type on this soon to be his computer. So I guess the good thing is that with his gift he has allowed me to gift my computer to him. Or at least it will when I get this thing all cleaned off. Right now it has a very full hard drive. Like so full that it shuts its self down and asks me to remove programs.. I can still do things on it, except after nearly every session I need to wipe it from the little temporary files. Guess I am a little hard on these things.
At any rate, things should soon be moving along much faster for me. I am grateful for that. Excited even. Both for my fingertips and hopefully my mind as well.
I’ve been home most days the weather outside gives me fits, I get all stiff achy and exhausted. Not to mention I can’t get myself warm once I get cold.. Not a good thing. I kind of figured I might be like this so I’ve got piles of things to do to keep busy. I hate being bored.
We have been getting piles of cards. We made cards this year to send out. The first time in YEARS!! It felt good. We both worked on the project which made it go so much better. I have a hard time doing some of those things on my own. I often get to tired to finish physical projects by the deadlines with out wrecking myself at least.
The cards we have been receiving are properly displayed the letters and notes are wonderful to read, and the pictures! Well the pictures are amazing! We love them. We’ll display everyone’s pictures all year long! Which is pretty fun for us!
Well at any rate, it isn’t much but it is what has been going on. Life is good. Simple but good.
Hope yours is also.
Blessings for this busy season.
Monday, December 6, 2010
This is not a complaint it is just a recognition…
These past six plus years have been a trying time for me mentally. Everything I do, every relationship I have, and how I think have all had to be completely adjusted.
Some friendships have fallen to the wayside, others have grown stronger.
It still hurts when I think of the good I was involved in doing prior to my accident. I was in charge of designing and implementing a teen leadership development week for District 5650 in Rotary. We were hosting exchange students almost every year, I would pick up trash with my local Rotary Club and hand out boxes of food for the holidays to people. I was doing all of these things to not only help others but to push myself to become more comfortable around others and in different situations.
I’ve written before about my MK business and what I was doing with that. In a short snippet I was gearing ourselves to be financially secure, while growing my comfort level and business acumen. Each day was a test for me, a push to work through my issues and fears. While I was working on my own issues, I was working to help others face and deal with theirs as well. I focused on helping others, which in turn allowed me to help myself.
I am finally starting to feel as if I am pointed in the right direction since the accident. There is so much more that has gone on that I am not able to talk about just yet. It will shock you when I am able to finally put it into print.
I am currently waiting for my THIRD set of lenses for my Traumatic Brain Injury treatment. ( To learn more about that click on About Tonja at the top of this page )
We are sending out real holiday cards for the first time in six years I think. To top it off I designed them, and Jason took the pictures! If you’d like one be sure I have your address! I’ve felt guilty for years not getting this done. I LOVE getting the yearly updates, I especially love the pictures people include. They decorate my kitchen and dining area for the year, I make a collage of them and then they are displayed. It is fun to see how everyone changes! It is also handy in recognizing peoples children and remembering their names. I do wish people included their children’s ages or grades on them though. I have difficulty in remembering those things.
I am weird I suppose, but every card or personal letter that I have ever gotten I have saved. Things on my computer or things that have been emailed to me I try to save but often times they just become lost in the overwhelming data, and they turn into virtual junk. I am going to have to work on a better filing system for those things as well I think.
Speaking of sending out cards, I have been working diligently at recreating my address list. So many faces have changed in my life. I have been so discombobulated, along with people moving, my lack of organizational skills, and computer and phone documentation lost or being non transferable recreating my address list has been a daunting task. I have been determined and I have been working at it now for weeks!
While these things never reach a final completion. I now have an adequate grasp on the task and will be able to print labels for all of my cards. I ordered them with preprinted return addresses so everything is ready to go. No handwriting. While I am able to write, I am not able to write for long or legibly as well any more. My hand just doesn’t work like that these days. It is also going better because Jason is also involved in the process.
I’ve also been taking more online classes at creativeLIVE in addition to teaching myself how to use some computer programs better. I will never fully understand EXCEL in fact I really am not sure if it will ever be possible for me to actually know how to use that program. But I am learning how to use Photoshop better. Not that I want to “completely edit our pictures” I do want to be able to process them properly though. I would also like to use it at some point to make fine art with or be hired to do jobs in graphic design or editing.
I guess that is the direction I am headed at this moment. As far as taking pictures goes.. I’ve been taking pictures of the beautiful birds outside my window lately! It makes me so happy to see and listen to my birds. Some how through this activity my lonely feelings have lessened. I am happy about that! One of the neatest things, is that the birds are pretty tolerant now of having me around. They like to watch me through the window, and they even perch on the sill to tell me they are out of food. When I or Jason fill up the feeders now they no longer completely disappear, in fact they are eagerly waiting inches away in some cases for us to refill their food.
Luka is doing well, he’s getting lumpy now. Which I can’t say that I am that excited about, but he is still in good health and still able to hang with me and help me as I need. So that is fantastic.
When my new lenses arrive, I am under instructions to begin walking. So we will be out and about doing that, hopefully somewhere warm!
Monday, November 29, 2010
I am easily distracted by shiny things. I am easily distracted period. Lately this seems to be going to extremes. I haven’t taken control of my eating lately. I am doing the whole GF thing, as I am in major pain if I don’t do that. I am going to have to get tough with myself again. I know how hard it is to change and to do things you don’t necessarily want to do. Especially the things that are “good for you” when the “bad” seems more fun! I think part of it eating right. But I also need to get my emotions in check. I think I am emotionally eating, and I need to find another outlet for those darn things.
Thanksgiving was great! We had a great time with family!! I ordered a Turkey to be made for me Gluten Free! I ordered it from BW’s it is a place you should totally order your food from! Check it out, Brian caters, delivers, or you can pick it up, which is what we do. He makes things GF for me! Woot!!! And the food that he makes is totally amazing! TOTALLY!!
In addition to that Jason made my favorite Cornbread Dressing for me! It has yams, parsnips, celery, cranberries, apricots, plums, etc in it! It is to die for as well! Jason totally rocked it! I nearly killed myself as well as destroyed our kitchen in the process of making pumpkin bread. But I have to say it was totally worth it. Even though I had to toss half of the recipe because I didn’t bake it right. Oh well. Thank goodness I have others around me who can cook! Jason’s mom made some great food I could eat as well. So I sure did not starve! In fact I ate so much I slept the entire Thanksgiving afternoon by the fire place!
So I am working on some photo projects! That has been super fun. I am a bit behind at the moment. I feel. But I plan to get caught up this week. I wish I could work on some sort of schedule. But just do what I can when I can. That is the way it has to be. I’ve got great friends and family who are adapting to this and we will all make it through.
I’ve gotten new bird food. Jason is going to put some more hangers out for me for the winter. I like to sit and listen and watch the birds. I usually don’t have the TV on. I do sometimes of course. I’ve started listening to my own radio stations on Pandora! That is fun!! If you haven’t tried it you should! It is free!!
I have done a little online shopping as well. I found some winter boots for Jason. He had to toss his last year as the rubber split. They were super old. I also found some socks for him and some shirts. I bought a black ruffled skirt for me. I hope it fits, otherwise I will have to donate it to my sister. I should find some things to wear that aren’t black. I am trying to find things that are in bright colors. I just am always drawn to black and red. I do now have white clothes. I really have what ever I can find at the best price. I guess that comes first. =D That being said, I think everyone needs to donate some more things to thrift stores so I can find some more things to wear!! Ha!
The sights I mentioned in my previous post led me to the savings on socks for Jason and his shirts. (It is very hard to find clothing for men at the thrift stores.—I think they always wear their stuff out.) That is where I found some shirts for him as well and that skirt!!
I have been looking at the cyber deals as well. I think I have found an external hard drive for us. I have found lots of other things but we don’t “need” them so they are going to be for someone else!! I told Jason that it made me feel good to do the shopping. I can do something that contributes. I hate paying for shipping so I most usually don’t do any online shopping unless I can find free shipping. Right now many places are offering it so it is better! I have found things for Christmas Presents as well! Woot! I am going to get all of this done!
So much easier for Jason if I can do it, and more fun for me too, as I love to shop, just since the accident it is no longer fun to do it in person. It is a laborious chore. I miss the carefree shopping experiences. I guess the online version is the next best thing!! We did however go to a home fixing store and got ourselves a new outside door! Which is totally exciting! We’ve one more outside door to replace but the worst ones are done now! Or will be in a matter of days! We also got ourselves a long overdue humidifier. We finally broke down and did it. I hope it helps me to not have bloody noses through the winter! I remember Mom & Dad would always have one running in our house. I was always getting bloody noses… and with the Ehlers Danlos diagnosis it all figures in.
I have created and ordered our holiday cards. If you want one make sure to get me your address. I haven’t mailed out cards in YEARS!!! I have a bad address list, but I am working at it. I am in need of everyone’s addresses. It took me some time to figure out how to do the whole template thing. But I’ve got it down now! I am ready to go.
Now if my computer will just keep up! Hee Hee!
Glasses update: I about feel forward yesterday. Which is a very new thing for me. I am always loosing my balance and falling backward. It was a good feeling to be going forward more. I can catch myself a whole lot easier with my toes when I head forward. I’ve been wearing my glasses most all of the time. I take them off occasionally to let my eyes breathe.. Ok I know that sounds weird. I don’t know how else to describe it. It feels like the glasses need to come off and then soon it feels like I need to put them back on. So that is what I do.
I go in this week to get checked again. Dumb insurance company is messing around with paying my bills. Ugg!
Birds: We’ve been feeding better food, and the birds are FLOCKING to my feeders! I am having very happy birds! I love it. It is so nice to see so many friends at my window. They even have begun watching as I fill the feeders for them. I am trying something different as well. I made a piece of pottery. It is a platter. I filled it with nuts, and seeds and will be setting it on the ground. I guess cardinals and doves like to eat down there. I’ve also asked Jason to make me a feeder for woodpeckers, he is also interested in making some sort of squirrel feeder too. More for his amusement than for feeding. But that works for me, as I’d like to have the squirrel around more.
Phew! Well that is all for now! I am going to get back to deciding what everyone is getting for Christmas!
Monday, November 22, 2010
I am excited! Super excited!! I love designers! I love unique things. I really love high quality things, things that are made to last, things that are always in style. Beautiful things to gift to others that you know they will be over the moon for!
I love great deals! I love Love LOVE nice things! It is not that I don’t feel that the retail price for things isn’t deserved. It is the fact that we live on a very limited budget, I want to stay with in our budget. In doing so I utilize sales and discounts to get the great things life has to offer.
I think many others may also be like me. So in the spirit of saving I am sharing these links with you. In the spirit of saving, I am also sharing these links with you as I get a little gift from each of these places if you decide to get things from these places as well. Use these links and you may also get a discount for getting their deals!
These are designer links. Check them out! The things that are offered are so nice! Click on the links below or copy and paste them to your browser. They are all free to sign up with. One has a membership you can also UPgrade by paying a fee to shop earlier so things aren’t sold out. I use the free version!
http://www.ideeli.com/invite/girlygirly This site features a little of everything.
http://www.ruelala.com/invite/lovinit This sight features mostly clothes shoes and accessories.
www.onekingslane.com/invite/TonjaPetersonwendt This site has home furnishings.
This link will feature businesses close to where you live!
Please note they will send you emails everyday regarding what sales they are doing each day. Things will sell out on the designer sites each day. They only offer these products for a period of about 24 hours. So if you see something you want you should act on it immediately. I don’t check out the sales every day, in fact I delete them quite often with out looking at them.
So give them a try see what you think! Additionally if you get signed up you to can refer friends so then you will get a gift from the company, and so will they! Then you can do some more shopping for free.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Well this is a subject I’ve been avoiding. Mine.
I mean I’ve been doing the basic things.. moving as much as tolerated, and eating reasonably well. Except…
And this is where the truth hurts.
I’ve been referred to get more tests done. I don’t want to.
I’ve come past some dates of getting some yearly exams/or biannual exams done.. I don’t want to do that either.
I’ve been eating well, except: Money had been tight and I was eating less, probably nutritionally starving myself, I was full, ate three times a day, but not the richest in vitamins of foods. And I’d cut back on what was working for me quite well.
Physical Therapy has become far and few between, mostly because I’ve been to weak to endure the trips to the office, partly because of timing and lack of rides to therapy.
The truth hurts but not more than I have been hurting myself. My nails have grown weaker, so I know my body isn’t taking in the nutrients it needs. I am exhausted, my intestines are out of control, I’ve not been able to think, let alone write. I have now thoroughly beaten myself up with wet noodles and am getting myself back on track!
This all and I keep over doing myself. Oh the joys. I am zealous in my efforts, I wish I was as consistent as I am zealous! =D
Self examination keeps our heads screwed upon straight. Keep in mind my examination may be faulty, but at least I am doing the best I can. I find that looking into what I’ve been doing and why keeps me moving forward, even though it seems as it is one step forward and two steps back some days. I am doing better than I have been in years!
I have hope, I keep wearing the glasses, today I actually felt shorter as I walked out into the garage. I guess this is a good thing since my center of gravity has been centered way to high. Let’s hope my path is fruitful.
I remember not so long ago that I would just pray to God to let me die. I couldn’t move, I was always medicated out of my mind, the pain was not able to be controlled, and I was loosing my marriage. ( I don’t mean that Jason was going to leave, I mean that I couldn’t even carry on a conversation let alone be a wife of any sort)
I saw no end to what I was going through and did not want to be such a burden. It was during this time that I and Jason were completely isolated. Jason is not a sharer of information. I couldn’t share the information, and no one knew what we were going through for years. He used to come home and check to see if I was still breathing.
I am not sharing this for me. I am sharing this for you. I share because I know that others may be going down a different path, but may still feel the hopelessness, the isolation, the stinging feeling as if you don’t matter to much of anyone.
In today's society we have been taught not to pry, to not be nosey, the stigma’s of the nosey neighbor have gone the other direction into indifference and it now seems to be taboo in some circles to openly share and care.
This comes at a price. It is a steep price. It is also there for protection. I can imagine that today if I were in the physical/mental shape to be seeking a job, that it would be fair to assume that if someone googled me that I may not be hired based upon what I have been through, as well as the thoughts that I have shared, and the openness that I’ve created.
On the same note, there may be employers out there that may be delighted to have an employee that has these qualities. It is all a matter of perspective. One of my favorite Photographers Jasmine Star, says that by what she shares she attracts and repels people, but that she is living her life authentically and that is just fine with her. ( I paraphrased) I love this philosophy, I’ve had this philosophy my whole life. I am not looking to be best friends with everyone. I do not have a personality that meshes with everyone. No one does. I am not concerned about repelling a few people. If I were to repel someone, I would much rather have it be based on who I am than what I pretend to be.
Additionally I gravitate toward people who have opinions. People who have their own opinions and reasons behind them. I don’t always share their opinions but I at least know where they stand. Wishy washy people, people that are pleasers, that tell everyone what they want to hear… they can go fly a kite for as much as I am concerned. Those people cause me more harm than good, and if you are one of them to me you’ll soon find I am not going to hang in your space once I figure it out.
See… all of these pent up thoughts are finally making their way out my fingertips. I really haven’t had writers block, but lack of energy to write.
Watch out! There is more!
That’s it for now. I am thoroughly beating myself up with piles of wet noodles. It is a bit slippery in here these days so watch your step, I might have moved them.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Living your life like it is your last. Lets just suppose you didn’t believe in eternal life, coming back as another life, or all of those sorts of things. ( I am not asking for a discussion on this matter, just merely creating a situation)
The life you are living right now was IT! All there is all there was and all that there ever will be. There is no dream or hope for another life after this one.
Would you decide to do things differently?
Would you choose to react to people differently?
How would your judgment of others be affected?
Would you choose to think differently?
Would you use your time differently?
What would you want your legacy to be?
I’d really like you to think about these things from this perspective for a minute. Seriously.
You might even want to write things down if you find that you would. (it always helps me to do that)
I found that for me personally the thought of having another life beyond this life somehow can take you off the hook. Let me live a little less. Those that know me well, know that for all I do in my mind living a small life is not my idea of a great life. I am not saying a small life is wrong, it just isn’t for me.
But somehow knowing that I’d get to “do it again” or “have another life in heaven” really kind of takes away the importance of living this life in he hear and now the best I can. It also places a comfortable box around what I should and shouldn’t do so I get the “chance” at a next and better life.
This box, can also get a bit stifling if you consider all of the things that others start piling into it. Their expectations for you based on their beliefs and value systems, the laws of the land, the rules in which you follow for safety… the list goes on.
Now I am not saying that these things are unimportant. I am not saying that I am wanting to break rules. In general I like rules and guidelines. I do however think that it is important to examine how these rules and guidelines, are affecting this life I am living today.
Am I allowing these things to impede my thinking? To impede my sense of caring what happens to others. To allow me the moral ground to stand upon with which to choose to not offer my forgiveness. (Keep in mind, I consider forgiveness and trust two totally separate things) What if the lack of forgiveness translates into judgments that are based upon values that have been piled high in my box from others of their values their thoughts, their fears.
What if some of these things are causing me to cause harm to others. What if these things are holding me back from living my best life right now.
What if I could forgive, without trusting, but offer a person hope of a second chance. What if I was strong enough to stand beside someone who’s path had gone wrong who everyone had abandoned because it was the right thing to do. Not because I had trust in the person, not that I placed faith in that person. But because that person was in need. Because it might change the path of that person sometime in the future.
Not that I would gain anything more from this than a sense of humanity.
I think there is also a time for letting people go to find their own path. I am mostly just speaking personally about me.
I have found this experience of becoming physically disabled easier to speak about, as well as more difficult to handle. I don’t have the answers. But what I don’t want to find myself having done is to live this life complacently, having just followed the rules, and done the status quo, because I am waiting for the next life.
I am reminded by the parable of the three sons who were given different amounts of money by their father. I may have the least, but I am going to work to turn it into the most. It may not be the greatest life ever lived, but I am fighting each day to live the best life I can muster.
What if this life was the only life you were to get? Can you make a choice to over come your obstacles, your thoughts, your complacency, your doubt, your fears, others attitudes of you, lack of time management?
Can you make a choice to create purpose, happiness, forgiveness, faith, delight, meaning, passion?
What do you want your best life to be? (write it down) Create it and start now, start here! Even if this is your last day of life, make it your best, give it your all!
Live your best life now & when the day comes that another even better one that you just lived is waiting for you, imagine how much more amazing that one will be!
I hope this makes sense. I hope you choose to take the time to figure out what you want, and set about making that a reality. We are able to dream for a reason, if your dreams seem empty, they may be the wrong dreams for your life. Grab on to some new ones! Life is full of possibilities, don’t let your life be defined go out and create the definitions!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Today was a simple day. I thought we might get out, I thought I might get out. After a bath that wasn’t to be. So I am resting again. I am not miserable, just weak. My stomach is still not coming on line either. So I will just wait it out.
Life is full of mystery, plans get changed and surprises happen, and life is a mystery. All in all today was a good day. I am learning more new things online. Which was super fun. I watched yet another online class on creativelive.com You really should check this out!
Todays class was on photo gifts. I learned of many cool places to get all sorts of things made. Note: I’ve not ever used any of these places personally, but they were mentioned in the class by various folks and the instructor. If you want you can buy the download of the class, he talks about how you can set all of this stuff up.
So here is my list. Just in time for your holiday shopping! ( There are tons of cool things I’d like in my stocking on these pages, of course most of them aren’t entirely practical which is where my needs lie at the moment, but they are fun to peruse for sure!!)
Most of them will work all over the world, so for those of you who read my blog from far away places, you are in luck!!
In no particular order:
I Photo I think this one is Apple users only
All right I realize this list is incredulous! If you find a bad link or don’t like the site please leave a note. As I mentioned I have never used any of these before, but I may just give it a try. The instructor favored Shutter Fly because it is run by either Kodak or another well known brand which I can not think of at the moment. He also favored one other as well.. as he had personally used both of them.
So I had a productive day of learning, and now I am sharing what I have learned. Happy personalization!
The rest of my day was spent hanging out, Jason was around which was fantastic, he ran my errands for me. I’ve been out of my ear medicine for several days now so I am glad to have that started again.
The snow has arrived and the birds are stalking our feeders! I can’t wait to get more of them! We’ve found the best place to go to get food as well! It is fresh, it even smells wonderful I enjoyed putting it into the feeders the other day, and the birds have come flocking to it! Which is making for even more great pictures. I am getting several more varieties that I had previously attracted! Woot!!! More interesting friends to watch!
I am trying to get caught up with email and blog reading as well. I seem to have fallen seriously behind on all of these activities while being stuck flat on my back. I guess everything happens in time.
I wish I had a magic house cleaning fairy also, the mail seems to have taken over our house! Which drives me batty! Oh well, I think by next week I will have that on my list of things to do! =D.. Priorities!
Jason made the BEST spaghetti tonight for supper, Actually a very late 3pm lunch, it was so good! Gluten Free noodles, that came out of a gold and purple cello package are FANTASTIC! I think they might just taste better than regular noodles! Jason cooked them perfectly, he also made up a batch of tomato basil sauce and some deer meat. The sprinkle cheese added just the right finishing touch to the dish! DELISH! My man can sure make some mean lean noodles and sauce!
So the last few weeks I had stopped drinking a bit of something called cleanse in the morning. I don’t know but I think that might be an additional factor that might be keeping me a bit on the exhausted side of things. I mean I was doing much better on it. I had run out of it, and I have just gotten it back in stock for myself.
I will be getting back on track with that as well as being more consistent with my shakes and bars. I had been doing those two times a day, and I’ve only been doing them once a day, with regular food type stuff in between. Of course I am always tossing down a few M&M’s as the craving hits. Gotta live a little!
Maybe it is the food thing. At any rate, I will be starting strong with it tomorrow. I can’t take much more of hanging out in the bathroom every morning all morning. That exhausts me. Nothing seems to want to stay inside. At least I am not getting the Gluten Cramps to go along with it! I’ve been a very good girl in that regard! I think I am getting this GF eating down, I think it has been a year now!
The most amazing thing, is that my friends and family have all been so supportive! I’ve been fed GF food from everyone I eat with! YiPee! Because I love to eat!
So seriously check out creativelive it is amazing incredible and so worth your time! Besides if you catch the classes while they are being broadcast and recorded live online they are FREE! Which is even more amazing! Chase Jarvis and Craig Swanson are two of my favorite people, they have given me a platform where I can afford to learn!
Life Is Good!
Friday, November 12, 2010
While it is another late night, there is still time to get a good nights sleep. Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes misery can be a blessing, while at the same time it may feel like a curse. My life is full of blessings, it seems that I may just have to look harder to find them than the average person.
I guess when I do find them they mean more to me than something I might normally take for granted.
Yesterday.. I finally made it out of bed for a while. I actually did something. Luka and I went for a scooter run. We went to a friends house Jason met us there, and then he took some pictures! It was a great night! The plans for the day didn’t work out. It was nice to go with Jason and hang with friends though. Blessing #2
Blessing #1 Nausea and Migraine medication finally cleared up the last of my exhaustion issues yesterday.
Blessing #3 Waking up today, I didn’t have a migraine, I woke up and could walk and see fairly clearly… While my neck was sore from the scooter ride, it felt amazingly good! I will take it!
Blessing #4 I got to edit some pictures today, I used some of the newest things I have been learning, that is pretty exciting also!
Blessing #5 I managed to clean a window, fill a bird feeder, and clean fill and put another one out as well! Major accomplishment!
Blessing #6 I found food to eat in the freezer! Leftovers! They were great!
Blessing #7 Luka has been sleeping without his Muttluks and with out his Comfey Cone on his head, he has NOT been chewing his feet to bits. Thrilled!!! We are doing well with the diet changes and the allergic surrounding control! Woot!!
Blessing #8 I got some new training DVD’s in the mail! I can’t wait to learn more! ( I found them on a huge clearance sale.. That maybe should be Blessing #8.5 )
Blessing #9 Jason is going to be home tomorrow!
Blessing #10 I think I can now fall asleep!!!
Life is darn good! I hope yours is too!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Some days go by and you may feel as if you have nothing to say. That has not been the case with me lately. However, exhaustion is another issue in my world. When you have regular things that need to be done, taking time out to type a bit seems like an impossibility.
I am not that speedy of a typist.
In trying to remember what I have been up to, I have been busy either traveling with Jason while he works, or recovering from the traveling. I’ve got a friend whom I’d really like to see, so far this seems to be eluding me. Hopefully it will be different later today, but since I am still up at 4am I am guessing that may get pushed off to yet another day.
I’ve been in bed again for days unable to sit up, today I finally was able to start sitting up, tonight it is easier to move around, and tomorrow should be even better. If only I could sleep. What ever I did I did to much. My body was sure mad at me. I hate that.
I am guessing I lost more weight again from this ordeal, however I seem to be eating well enough again now. I hate staring at the ceiling, I could really use a bath. Frustrating as lying on my back really doesn’t even allow much typing to be done. But I did get a couple of Netflix movies watched, I was also able to learn some more Photoshop ideas and even some more picture taking ideas.
Not being able to sit up doesn’t really bode well for the painting department, hopefully I will be able to finish what I have started with that. I think I have more ideas than ability to complete them at this time. I suppose that is a good thing. It is never fun to be bored.
Jason has been working like crazy. I am grateful for that as it makes paying for things so much easier. It would be nice to have him home more, but then he’d just be fiddling around worrying about me. I guess it is good that he is busy with other things!
I guess the weather has been pretty nice outside lately, I don’t really know, I’ve been watching the sun shining on everything, and the birds seem happy enough, so that is good. We did get some new bird food, I am hoping that they love it and will hang around more. Lately it seems that our food is not the favorite as they are only spending short amounts of time on our feeder. Which costs us less I am sure, but I do enjoy looking at them when they decide to perch around here.
Well that is all for now, my arms are tired. I think writing may just have turned my sleepy brain on and I can now get some sleep.
5 hours til he wakes me up! Fingers crossed I will be able to see my friend!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Sitting here tonight in my cuddle duds, sweatpants, socks that go up to my knees and a super comfy sweater I am warm. I have the electric blanket cranked while Jason has not only the ceiling fan moving cool air but a fan atop our wardrobe blowing also. Polar opposites. He sleeps with few covers, I sleep with piles. He is warm to snuggle with and I am the ice cube queen.
Funny how two people so opposite could carve out a great life together. He’s a morning person, I am a night owl. He is impromptu and I plan, he often does things methodically, and I seem to reek havoc where ever I have been. I love to be fashionable, he loves grey zip up hoodies and insulated flannel shirts. He is always on time, and I work very hard at that!
I love to drive and used to do almost all of it for us, he isn’t as fond of driving and has to do all of it now. People instantly like him, people have to take there time before they decide to like me. He has no allergies, I have to many of them. He is strong, I work hard to be strong. Life sometimes makes him try several times to get something new going, life comes easily to me at first, but becomes harder as I do something.
I like to cook, he hates to cook. I can fall asleep easily, especially now, he needs particular conditions to sleep. He is technical, I am creative. I could go on and on about how different we are. We met, never thought another thing about each other until we ran into each other months later. Went out once, had fun. Went out again a month later, that went well. Another month went by and we went out again. And we haven’t been apart since. That was over 15 years ago.
Our differences keep things interesting, our interest in each other keeps us together. We are evolving, nothing in life stays the same, we are fortunate to hang on tighter to each other and ride this roller coaster of a life that we’ve been on.
I am blessed to have him in my life! He drives me crazy, keeps me warm, gets the chores done before I wake up, and loves me more than I deserve.
I hope you have some one just as amazing in your life!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I have recently mentioned that I am planning to be an artist. I am still fiddling with what type of artist I will be. Right now my main focus is on photography with a secondary focus on water color painting.
In the process of exploring the photography option, I want to take pictures of people. All sorts of people. People from differing backgrounds, people with different unique features. People who transcend the bodies that carry their souls around. I want to capture their soul in pictures. I want the light of their life to shine brightly.
One barrier to this can be a person’s level of comfort with their own body. I am not talking about taking nude pictures. I am just speaking about the generalities of people loving their body as it is. For loving themselves for who they are. I want to help them see how truly beautiful they are even if they don’t fit the stereotype for beauty. Especially if they don’t fit in the box. I love capturing out of the box people.
So I had written this article a while ago. I have been hanging on to it, wondering if I should share these words with my prospective models. I thought I’d post it here to see if anyone thought it would be offensive, or if something strikes a nerve. Which is not what I am going for.
Soul Filled Captures
I want to take this opportunity to share some very personal things about myself with you, in hopes that you will love yourself even more than you already do. I have insecurities just like you. I don’t like my raccoon eyes, or my skin that has acne scars on it… It never fails a pimple or two will show up for anything I do in my life that is important. Why am I sharing this? Everyone does not like something about themselves. Most of us are less than thrilled about sharing what those things are with others. I don’t run around sharing that my rear end is flatter than I’d like it to be. Or that I have flabby arms. =D.
I just want you to know that your secrets are safe. I promise not to publish the list of things that you dislike of yourself. Now I do realize that I am a small person, and many people would “kill” for my body. It however is what I look at each day and then the human nature inside of me starts comparing my arms to Michelle Obama’s arms, and my rear end to J Lo, you get the picture...
I do things to conceal, enhance, or cover different parts of my body. I am not immune. Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous thing. I want you to know that you are perfect just as you are we are told this from a very young age. Truly this is so, I am also perfect just as I am. Acceptance is what will makes me happy. Fixing what you think is currently wrong with what you look like is really only 10% of the problem. After you got everything on your list fixed, you’d soon have another list started. Your attitude about yourself makes up the the other 90%.
All of this being said, let us know what you dislike about your body, please also let me know what you LOVE about your body as well. What are your favorite features? What types of shots are your favorites?
We would love to focus on your favorites while capturing your image. It is my goal to ask you to pose in ways that draws the least attention to your dislikes and show off your LOVES. We will also work to “fix” your image in processing. Will we make you look like a different person? NO. Will we do what we can to make the things on your dislike list less noticeable? We will also work to make the things you LOVE more noticeable.
Oddly enough, the list of dislikes was much shorter when I had a size 16 body. Weird, I know. Insecurities never disappear, if someone share that they think they look perfect this does not mean they wouldn’t like to change things about themselves if they could. Why not think that you look perfect? What harm is this going to cause you? I think my body is perfect. I actually LOVED my body the most when I was the largest. I remember standing in front of the mirror in my birthday suit; I had been picking myself apart. I stood there and realized what I was doing to myself. I changed my thinking. Who wants to go through life never being happy with yourself?
Choosing to love your body, choosing to love who you are and what you look like is a freeing decision. Before your photo shoot I encourage you to stand in front of the mirror and have that conversation with yourself. When it comes time for you to view your images that we have taken of you do it again. In fact do it often! Fall in love with yourself. Doing this does not prevent you from hiding, fixing, or disguising. What it will do is free you from the chains of self loathing, and give you more energy to focus on being the best you that you can be!
If you’ve got it flaunt it baby! There is nothing more flattering, sexy, or captivating than letting your soul shine. So make your list, check it twice, and send your insecurities out the window. Some one out there is jealous of the things you are most insecure about in yourself.
I would also like you to check out a couple of blogs that I follow. Why do I follow their blogs? Because I think they are some of the most beautiful people in the world. Their souls transcend infinity.
http://davehings/burger.blogspot.com/ Dave is a plus sized man who is in love with a man and gets around via wheelchair. Dave has insight, foresight, acknowledges hindsight, and observes the most educating experiences. He has an innate ability to transcend the raging ignorance of those who live with a disability he writes soul filled words. Dave is wisdom filled.
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/ Stephanie and her husband Mr. Nielson both survived a plane crash they both have burn scars all over their bodies. Their journey is not only one of disfigurement, but of immense physical pain. They lead the most glory filled life with their children. They are strength filled.
http://www.katherinewolf.info/ Katherine is a model who had a very serious stroke after giving birth to her child. She now is rebuilding her life and her body along with her husband and son. She is faith filled.
http://carlyfindlay.blogspot.com/ Carla defies belief. She advocates for acceptance, she exemplifies how to love your self. She stylishly presents herself, emotionally steadies herself, and shares a message of hope. She is power filled.
These people know what it is like to bring your self to the table. When you think of your faults, add these people to your list of comparables. You are strong and you are exceptionally beautiful! Love yourself!
Here is to capturing your soul!
Let it shine!
I appreciate your opinions,
Thursday, October 28, 2010
So posting has been on my mind, but things have been a little jumbled up in my head making it difficult to write. So this post is Ketch Up! Ha Ha!
Weather… well it is acting up again and so are my joints! So frustrating. I kept laying there trying to sleep. But I have given up that for more meds. I decided to type to get my mind off of the growing pain in my neck. It seems to be very pissed off.
I am happier as of late with my physical therapy choices. With my latest diagnoses things seem to be lining up. I have a cranial sacral physical therapist, and an expert at water therapy physical therapist. Both of them are doing things to work with my new glasses. I am relearning to walk in therapy. I have been walking wrong, when I walk I tend to walk with my right arm swinging to my right leg, left arm with left leg. I do other goofy things as well. But we are working on them.
That being said, I have my second set of lenses now. I guess after another 4 or so days I may get used to them. My eyes are rebelling at this point by getting sore and causing migraines. My latest PT figured this out. I guess I am finally standing correctly, all of my joints are lining up properly with the glasses and the stress my body had been going through is much less. I can move more freely with out getting caught up.
That being said, my shoulder and hip joints are driving me nuts… but that isn’t related to the TBI. Maybe one day I will be simple.
Luka is doing well, he was under the weather earlier this week so he had to stay home a few days. He seems to be doing better now. I’ve not taken him for a run in a while. With the wind yesterday I just couldn’t muster it. Today.. in a few hours we will hopefully have had some sleep by then, we are heading out. So at least we will be getting out of the house. I am excited!
Hey, if you live in the United States of America remember to get your absentee ballots asked for so you can vote. That is my favorite way to vote. I can do it at home, study the issues, look up the people, and I can take my time reading it so I make sure to mark the right boxes for the issues I am for or against.
The wind has been so wicked. Watching the footage of all of the tornado damages and disasters, makes me remember my days when I volunteered to help with disasters. I miss doing physical active things like that. But though my own way I am also volunteering to help others in different, less active ways. I think that is one of the things that keeps me going. Finding something I can do for others. Even if it is small, and even if it goes unnoticed. I will know that I did it.
I’ve got some projects I need to get finished. I hope the people waiting for them are patient. My to do list seems to never get shorter. It takes me a while to do it all, all though it seems to me like I am doing it fast. Well I am doing it fast as possible but when you look at the time it has taken forever. But hey, I am doing things, and marking them off my lists that is really all that matters.
What do you think people who have disabilities do? I don’t know what others do, but I try to watch as little TV as possible during the day. I really try to treat myself like I have a job. I do watch TV sometimes. Sometimes, that is all that I’ve been able to manage, other times, listening to the TV is all I have been able to manage. I used to read tons and piles of books. But that went out the window with the accident as well.
I am not sure but reading online is much easier. I have downloaded some books online, but I have yet to try reading them. They seem a little over whelming. I have started listening to online radio stations. Specifically Pet Life Radio. I am looking for others to listen to as well. I have found some radio stations online as well. I would like to know about stations that read books online, or have interesting discussions.. interesting to me does not mean yelling or those kind of interesting shows. But where you are being educated about something.
I would also like to find a Brazilian station, a Latin station, a classical station.. so if you know of any I can find online please drop me a note in the comments section or drop me an email. I’ve been getting some of those lately and I am loving it. My email address is in the About Tonja tab at the top of this page.
I like to keep learning about interesting things, the TV has PBS, thank goodness. I have a couple movies sitting here from Netflix to watch but I don’t do that much either lately. I go in spurts. My worst days, my tired days, when I have over done, or need a mental vacation from stressfilled thinking.. I turn the tube on. That way it is a kind of “treat” for me while I am miserable.
I am thinking that the next round of pills is beginning to take effect. I hope they hurry. I’ve taken all I can take for the moment. I have a big day tomorrow and I would like to be able to accomplish it.
I did order my first item off of Etsy.com. I am getting a custom made pair of gloves! Here is the link to the gal who is making them for me. DebzCreations I just know they are going to be fantastic. Check these special things out, they are just what I am looking for. I need some free finger tips on my gloves that are free. But I also freeze, so I needed a cover to make them like a mitten. The great thing about these gloves is that they also have a thumb cover as well! I am so excited.
Listen to the best part. This gal has disabilities. So I am supporting someone who can’t easily do things. I think that makes them even more special. She and I have the same size hands and everything, so I know they are going to be perfect! I usually buy the $.99 that stretch. I like those gloves still, but they are not very warm.
I have asked her to use discretion on the yarn. I find many yarns highly itchy! So she is choosing her warmest and least itchy yarn for me. I also need a non bulky pair of gloves, so she is also taking that into consideration as well. I even get to choose the buttons! How cool is that?
I did choose the color. Basic Black for now. I would also like a colored pair. She even makes these gloves for kids!
There are also a couple of new Blog Carnivals going on right now. You may enjoy checking them out.
The topic for this carnival is: Assistance Dog Firsts.. There are some really heart warming posts. A Service/Assistance Dog Carnival has just been started! Check this new carnival out! The topic is: Advice for medical professionals/students
Another Blog Carnival is going on right now as well, I’ve contributed to this one in the past, but didn’t contribute to this subject, but many others did! Topic: What advice would you give to medical students or those just starting their career in the medical field? What kind of knowledge do you feel doctors only learn through years of patient interaction that is not currently taught in med school (but you wish they already came programmed knowing)? Check it out!
Also in our local news was this really wonderful story about an Assistance/Service Dog Team. Meet Tinkerbell and Rebekah.
Well the meds are starting to work I think. Luka’s gassy tummy is currently peeling the paint off our walls, and I am really hoping that I can catch a few hours of rest.
Oh… say some prayers for my friend Ron who is getting a tracheotomy on Friday. We went to high school together and he’s really going through a rough time.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
So the trip to the capitol went well today. Well yesterday as I write this after midnight. My body is finally rested up enough for me to think. Jason took my scooter in so I could use it instead of walking everywhere. This turned out to be a stellar idea as far as things go for me. Jason on the other hand got a work out! He hooked up the trailer, dismantled the scooter, loaded the scooter, drove me to the capitol, found a place where he could park long enough to drop the scooter Luka and I off.. parked, assembled the scooter, then Luka and I met up with our new friends Dan and Jackson (SD) and started our roll towards the capitol.
Jason then drove around for the next 20 or so minutes looking for a spot to park his vehicle and the trailer we pull to keep the scooter in. He found a spot about 5 or 6 block lengths away… He parked, walked back to the capitol, met me in the lunch room of the capitol.. we ate, and then we attended our meeting.
The meeting… it went very well. I was thrilled that Jason agreed to sit in on it. I wouldn’t have been upset if he hadn’t, but I do love when he takes an interest in these things, even though he hates meetings, hates sitting and waiting and would have rather been doing almost anything else! He’s such a great husband! He got left over Pudgyville Pizza when we returned home for his efforts! I warmed it up for him and everything. =)
We had less of a turn out than we did for the Proclamation signing event. But good none the less. We had issues discussed from a variety of stand points and perspectives. Folks from many agencies a couple training organizations were also present. That was nice.
Of course Nebraska State Senator Kate Sullivan and her fabulous assistant Mikki were in attendance. My friend Morgan and her SD was able to attend along with Nike and her SD and Roxanne ( her SD has been attacked by a dog roaming at large and is recovering but now is having some fear issues.. ) along with my newest friend Dan and his SD. A gal who’s name I didn’t catch was also in attendance as well as her SD in training and a young lady who was a daughter of one of the aforementioned persons.
Rich S from the Great Plains ADA Center was there and Rich from the League of Human Dignity in Lincoln were present. Rich S gave a great power point presentation, and Rich was handy to clarify and share his knowledge as well. Michelle from Domesti-Pups shared good perspectives, as well as Michelle W. from KSDS Inc. she also shared her perspectives.
I also met a man who works at the capitol who’s son has autism and has been looking into getting an Assistance/Service Dog for him as well. He was able to sit in and listen as we learned and discussed. All in all a great turn out.
What is going to happen next? Well, I think that depends upon the interest in the Assistance/Service Dog community. It also depends on the political climate I am sure as well as the interest from the public.
One of the key things discussed was the need for public education. I think once people are educated most of the barriers disappear. However doing the educating is an incredible task. These days it happens one person at a time.
The other thing is with the updates coming into effect in the Federal Laws regarding Service/Assistance Dogs in March 2011 it will make much of Nebraska’s current laws null. It was discussed that we just adopt the Federal Laws as State Laws and then go from there in the future. Does it make sense to change Nebraska’s Law to come into compliance with Federal Laws??? What is your take on this?
Ok I really would like comments if you have a SD or are a person with a disability who might be reading this. We’d love to have your input, even if you are not from Nebraska. ( I know I don’t have a large blog following but I thought I’d ask just in case you are out there and willing to comment!)
There were other things discussed as well. I will probably talk about some of those things later. Eye opening discussions were had as far as I was concerned. But all things in time I suppose.
Luka did rather well on this outing with other SD’s. I was proud of him. He is rather vocal which I guess can be attributed to being a talking Doberman Pinscher. Ha! Just like having a three year old at your side.
After the meeting I stopped by another office down the hall from our meeting room to see a high school and ballet classmate’s father who is now a Nebraska State Senator. I ran into his aid who oddly enough also had a son I attended high school with. We had a nice chat before we left. It was good to see some folks I recognize from my childhood. I later facebooked my friend about seeing her dad.
Jason walked with me as I scooted and Luka drug my scooter along the sidewalks to our vehicle. It was a bumpy ride but nice all the same. The spot Jason had found to park, was by a street edged retaining wall about two feet tall. I couldn’t get in to sit down since my side was next to the retaining wall, Luka and I had a nice sit, while we waited for Jason to disassemble the scooter, load it into the trailer, start the vehicle, pull away from the curb, get back out, come open my door, move the seat load Luka, move the seat, help me in.. and drive home in Friday’s after work traffic.
Let’s just say that he was less than communicative on the way home. Pizza did however brighten his evening, and we had a relaxing night. I guess I should say I had a relaxing night.. He cleaned out the gutters and fiddled with antenna’s..
Please also note that I don’t receive any discounts or payments for sharing these places with you! I am just doing this as a courtesy because I love these things, I have found them to be beneficial, or I think they are worth noting. Hope you enjoy my links. They are for your information only! And I like promoting things that I like!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Tomorrow.. the word reminds me of Shirley Temple. The sun will come out Tomorrow! Anyway, I am thinking about tomorrow tonight. It is sure to be a day filled with thought. I hope that those in the room thinking with me at the Nebraska State Capitol are looking forward to it as much as I am. Jason will be taking me to Lincoln, along with Luka and my scooter! I am opting to ride the scooter, as the last time I went and accepted the proclamation, I was so exhausted, I could hardly move around, I had no energy to go to visit with the others that attended and I just really couldn’t contribute. Tomorrow I want to be able to contribute. So thanks Jason for loading that beast up in the trailer and dragging it in and out for me!
Don’t worry I haven’t given up walking, just when it hinders thinking!
It isn’t often these days that I get asked my opinion about something important. Something that will impact the lives of many others here and now and also in the future. That is what tomorrow is all about. Nebraska’s Assistance Dog Laws (Service Dog Laws) are a bit behind the times. Federal Law trumps Nebraska Law but if Nebraska’s Laws kept up with Federal Laws, then those with disabilities would have protection via local law enforcement officials instead of having to resort to utilizing the services available through Federal means to gain justice or in most cases a meal, a bathroom to use when you need to use it…. etc.
Since some less than favorable responses by some Nebraska Businesses I have now chosen to carry the laws with me everywhere we go. I also carry with me a denial form that I ask the business to sign if they are denying us access. I also have my camera phone with and am not afraid to use it.
Read no further if you have issues discussing going to the bathroom and related subjects.. Warning… Stop now!
Still the fear of walking into some place new to us or with a new employee is rampant. For example we had a three plus hour ride in the car today. I needed to go to the restroom about 1/2 way through the trip. I had asked Jason to take the highway instead of the interstate because it is so much prettier. I love looking at all of the small towns as we drove by them. At the same time, I forgot about the convenience of Nebraska Rest Stops, these offer no resistance to Luka and I and are well traveled by folks from everywhere. While Luka and I may be the only pair like us there, no one ever bats an eye at us.
However the fear of stopping someplace new and unfamiliar is all to real. Today, I was pretty tired and I knew I couldn’t make the trip to the ladies room on my own. Jason can only hold me up so far, and then I’d be on my own again as well.
I do also have to say that the smaller towns that I have visited, I have never had a problem. But when you are exhausted, have to go to the bathroom pretty bad and you don’t need the trouble of explaining and being questioned… that crossing your legs and hoping you don’t get a bladder infection pretty much sums up how my afternoon went.
I do think that working to change Nebraska’s Laws will help me feel more comfortable walking with Luka into new places. I am phobic to begin with and being questioned about my life, my assistance dog, my disabilities and my personal inadequacies is far to much to deal with most days.
Don’t think however that if confronted about these things that I will lye down and accept this though. Which is one reason I feel so fiercely about brining Nebraska’s Laws up to speed. Even adding some enhancements as well to make this a better place.
Just because some one feels like denying someone like me access does not mean it should be allowed. Look at what can happen if people who have different abilities are ignored, or treated as less than. Because they were Bored… and all they get was a slap on their hands??? No thank you! I will not leave this place more dangerous for people who are different. I will try my best to make it so that those who follow me are treated with respect, and have protections under the law. The article I linked to in this paragraph makes me sick, angry and all together furious at the lack of respect that is tolerated against those who are different. I don’t care how you are different than others, it is wrong to allow this sort of behavior.
So that is why tomorrow, I am taking one small step to insure that those who come after me have a greater sense of personal safety, a greater sense of Assistance Dog safety, and can be out living their lives as productively as possible.
We have power, we just need to harness, direct, and use it.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Luka and I won an award!
Learn more about us and what we did when you listen to my radio interview:
click.. Pet Life Radio’s Working Like Dogs!
My radio interview is posted!
Click the link above to listen to it!
The Award?? It is a pretty darn cool one as well, something I am very proud of personally for as well as proud of the other organizations and folks involved. I really do hope that you will take the 20 minutes to listen to the interview! What you read below will make more sense if you do.
I am thrilled to share that the event that I planned around the Governorial Proclamation declaring August 8-14, 2010 Assistance Dog Week in Nebraska won the National Assistance Dog Contest for Best Event!! Check it out!
We are all motivated to create change in Nebraska! Here is the first attempt at it…
Sadly the first attempt did not pass, but we are going for it again and even more comprehensively this year! Thanks to Nebraska State Senator Kate Sullivan! Contact her here!
So who was involved??
** NOAH'S Assistance Dogs - They provide a range of services, utilizing specially trained dogs to enhance quality of life.
** Domesti-PUPS provides service dogs for mobility impairments and seizure response dogs.
Stephanie a local dog trainer who has yet to provide me with a website! She helps owner trainers train their dogs. For now message me her if you would like to reach her and I will send your message along to her if you are looking for her services.
Roxanne H. and Tay an assistance dog team. Roxanne is an advocate for those with disabilities. I will be doing a separate post about what she does soon!
Second Chance Pups provides trained shelter dogs for adoption to the public, but not service dogs. Great if you don’t need an assistance dog but would like a great trained family pet!
Mikki McCann Aid to Nebraska State Senator Kate Sullivan whom you can contact through the link above.
We also had some new friends involved Nike and her Assistance Dog Lilly and many other trainers with Assistance Dogs in training!
We had a great turn out! I am so appreciative! I hope you take the time to listen to the 30 minute radio show at Working Like Dogs on Pet Life Radio!
In addition, I was the recipient of a $200 gift certificate from Service Dog House! I am now their new biggest fan! I can’t wait to share with you what I am ordering!
HAVE A DISABILITY?? Thinking about getting an Assistance Dog?? Here is a great book you you may want to check out.. the great book..
I would like to send a Big Thank You to Marcie advocate and Working Like Dogs Radio Host for being such a strong proponent in creating awareness for those of us who utilize the services of Assistance Dogs!
National Assistance Dog Week was established due to the efforts of Marcie Davis, a paraplegic for over 35 years and CEO of Davis Innovations, a consulting firm based in Santa Fe, NM. Davis is the author of Working Like Dogs: The Service Dog Guidebook, and she is the host of the Internet radio program, Working Like Dogs, at www.petliferadio.com. As a member of a service dog team, she founded Working Like Dogs to honor assistance dogs around the world and is sponsoring National Assistance Dog Week.
For more information, contact Marcie Davis at 505-982-1977
I am so very honored to have received this award. There were so many deserving groups that created awareness across our great country. Please go to this link to see what they did as well!
Before I go, I wanted to share one more link with you. If you have an Assistance/Service Dog I would encourage you to do something next year to create awareness in your state. If there is something going on, get involved! Here is where you can start!
Blessings from a grateful heart and four grateful paws,
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Some things just pile up these days. Not for lack of trying to get things done, just so much to do, and much of it wears me out. Lately some things seem to be wearing me out mentally as well as physically. That mental stuff, Yeeew.
Well, I’ve got a pile of it done. There is more to do, but it can wait. I’ve been working at some mind candy tasks to revive my spirits. Do you do that? I do really try to tackle the worst first, and follow it with the mind candy tasks.
What do I consider mind candy? Anything I am doing for myself, just because. It involves doing something special for someone else that I enjoy doing or look forward to seeing the result of. It could be as simple as creating myself a slice of pesto gluten free pizza. Or creating a new texture to use when messing with pictures. It could be rolling over and giving Luka a good rub, or making something with Sugu.
Sometimes after something difficult and taxing to accomplish a nap is also in order. Today I had planned on watching a football game, but the game wasn’t heading the right direction so I opted for other happier methods of distraction.
After I rejuvenate, I can then tackle another task.
On my list is now is laundry. Jason will be happy if more of it isn’t waiting for him to do when he gets home.
I’ve been wearing my glasses full time this is day two. Today was harder than yesterday, my mind is giving me fits and so are my eyes. But hey, I guess this is to be expected. I have to remind myself that keeping up with the Joneses is not my goal. My goal is to just be the best me I can be.
When I was at the eye Dr’s to get my stats checked, I also got my glasses adjusted. They are no longer rubbing horribly on my left hear, and they don’t pinch my nose nearly as much. I am so grateful. It really is the little things in life that can make me elated! …. Of course while we were there I tried on a pair of Pink Sunglasses! They were adorable. But at $89 they were also not coming home with me! =)
Have I mentioned lately how much I love things that keep me warm? I do. I’ve been freezing lately. Which is no fun. I would so rather be sweating than freezing.
Some of my favorite things for fall and winter are..
electric blankets with dual controls ( Jason is not nearly as excited about heating the bed up as I am )
Thinsulate coats.. I don’t have one but I dream of one in pink purple or whatever..
Space heaters… I have one for every room of my house, so which ever room I am in I can turn it on with out cranking up the house heat.
Layers of clothing! I love layers! I live in layers!
I also love hot baths!
And my most favorite is a snuggly husband!
On that note I will end my post….
Saturday, October 16, 2010
So the appointment. I’ve been so tired I’ve almost forgotten. I am doing better. I still am freezing which I guess is par for the course since it is fall and I am a big weeny!
So I have a huge problem with my Ambient Visual Field. Google that! Check out what the air force has to say on the subject as well. HUGE!! Remember what the Dr said before about me? So the latest test show improvement! I have also noticed improvement.
The best part what I described before the tests was what the tests ended up showing! How cool is that. Here is how I can describe this to you. It is like I have been looking through a tube. I can see what I am facing. I have trouble processing these things in a timely manner. But I can. However what ever I see that is outside the tube I do not process.
Say you are working with a camera ( a nice one, the kind that has a lens that comes off and on ) The lens is perfect meaning you have perfect vision, however something in the camera is broken processing only part of the image and what it is processing is not being properly processed either. What you are seeing is distorted. In addition this defect is causing the camera’s battery to run out faster.
Your eyes are the lens and your brain is the camera. The camera is what tells you what is through the lens.
I am getting stronger lenses. The Dr. would like to give me stronger ones yet but the prism is so strong that he doesn’t think I will be able to move about with it. So here is where we are going next. I am back to wearing the glasses also 24/7 which I actually prefer. He said I will know when I should start wearing them less. Which I already said I could tell when that was.
I also predicted which lenses I would get sent home with. The tests proved what my brain said was the best! Ha! I love this! They did all of these eye tests, standing tests, brain wave tests, and last time they even did an antioxidant test.
I asked about the antioxidant test, the Dr. said that if you do not have enough antioxidants in your system that your brain can not rewire itself. So even though I had good levels of antioxidants, guess what I am taking even more of now! You betcha, a little is good a lot is better, at least that has always been this girls theory! I want to get better and I am not going to leave stones unturned!
I also asked about the tape by my nose. He shared about that but neither Jason or I can recall exactly what was shared. =)
So the long and the short of it is this. Things are improving, not as fast as the Doc would like. He said another six months or so. I go back when my next lenses arrive, mean time I am wearing my old ones.
I will keep you posted. I do feel better wearing the glasses than when not wearing them. I guess that is a fantastic thing!
What this Doctor can tell from his tests is down right amazing! I can feel what his tests show which is the even cooler part!
I feel so blessed to be in a position of hope.
On another note my hip keeps giving me fits. Just my left one right now, it had been both! Ugg. With some rest hopefully things will start cooperating!
Oh, my sisters also came to visit! Fun stuff. Won’t talk a lot about that except that we took some great pictures, and traded clothes and shoes! I am now more fashionable! I love sisters!
Friday, October 15, 2010
So, the quest for the checked off list began again this morning. This morning’s list was a bit daunting I must say. Mostly because I had so many things on the list that were emotionally difficult for me to deal with. Therefore, starting became a chore.
I usually don’t have a problem tackling my lists. I have to make them otherwise what needs to get done fades away into oblivion. I recently saw another bloggers lists as shared by her husband. It made mine seem like a piece of cake. Her lists look more to the point of what my lists used to look like. Want to see her lists? Click here to see Jasmine’s Lists!
I love Jasmine, I took a photography class from her! Wow!
I start my lists of things to do Worst First! Otherwise I’d never get to the things I hate or dread the most. Inevitably the worst things are never as bad as you’d imagine them to be. Thank goodness. And I always work extra hard to get to the BEST things on my lists as well.
Trouble is that lists never seem to end.
I guess that is good. It gives me something else to think of and do. Besides I have more easy things and more dreaded things on my list for tomorrow. I always do.
What is on your lists? How do you feel when you get them done?
Some days I feel good getting myself out of bed, clothed and clean. Other days I have intentions of at least getting a couple extra things done, then yet others, I am able to do more! So I just cram in what ever suits the day.
Some days I do it better than others and some days I do it worse than others.
The last two days I’ve not been getting out and about on my scooter. I should be, Luka is itching to go for a run. I just needed a break from all of the jostling around my body had been receiving lately. The scooter itself tosses me about quite a bit and I needed to let my body calm down, so I’ve been resting for the most part these past two days. Finally I started feeling better tonight. Phew! Yesterday my body was rebelling.
So tomorrow the plan is to get Luka out and about and watch some football on TV! Jason shared with me that it will be on the free kind! Woot! I can’t wait!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
A whole lot of tired! I am hopefully getting caught up. A trip to the Eye Neuro today was a three hour event. Better than the last which was four hours. But tiring for me none the less. Afterwards Jason took me to get something to eat. Luckily a sushi place was nearby and I grabbed a spicy salmon roll! Which was totally worth the wait!
Then we were off to Physical Therapy! It went well. It was a good visit. I got my head and neck worked on, which I sorely needed. Then some shocking and warm wet heat. It went well. We managed to squeak out a couple of errand stops on the way home, one of which was looking at new phones. I’ve really struggled with the one I currently have. Unfortunately after my two appointments, my mind was completely shut off to the idea, and I couldn’t even manage to grasp a new understanding of how they worked. So that stop was a bust.
So was the next one, we’d stopped at a scooter store. Two employees were in the store. Evidently they didn’t want any business.. no one would come out of their offices to speak with us. So we left. Frustrating. I was exhausted and not in the mood to deal with slacking sales people.
Fortunately there are plenty of other scooter stores in NEBRASKA! Although I am sure these other stores won’t have our states name in theirs.
On arriving at home, I went straight to bed. I slept until 8pm. I am hoping that tomorrow I can actually accomplish something again. I’ll share more about my eye appt later. I am tired again and hear the pillow calling my name. Incidentally Jason crashed out around 9 so we both ended up needing some extra sleep.
If you are looking for more great reading there is another blog carnival going on right now. This time dealing with facing your fears. I didn’t get a post written for this one, but there are many other great bloggers featured! Check it out! Selena at Oh My Aches and Pains is hosting!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
So as I write tonight I am reminded about how life works. The ups the downs, the here and now, the expectation and the loss. It seems that everything has happened in a few short days to a variety of people than I know.
You never know when life is going to take a turn. The trick is to enjoy each moment, live your best life in the now. I’ve been doing just that! I’ve had a great week/weekend I am blessed beyond words. I also with my new scooter was able to go bless a few others today as well.
Time is a valuable gift. If you have a bit of time to offer to someone, it can make all of the difference in the world.
I am not going to share exactly what I did because it isn’t important that you know that. What is important that you know is that you can make a difference to someone else by offering your time to them. Time to listen, time to share, time to just be present, time to offer a hug, time to hold a hand, time to eat a meal, time to offer a favor…
You don’t need to do anything grand. Simple is sometimes the thing that warms the heart most, the thing that can offer the most hope. Life is funny and fickle.
I remember how life used to be. I was able to offer time to others. Now being blessed by a scooter, I am able to get around and bless others again as well.
Luka received a blessing today as well! He got a bath, blowout, and a nail trim. I had never taken him to this place before. Money being one issue, and I’d had a quick and not so pleasant experience myself there years before. So I’d just never thought to take him there. In fact I in my mind had said I wouldn’t. We were out at some friends home the other night and they were raving about that place, and when I called a closer place that did dog grooming, they shared that they were now only doing small dogs, but that this place did large ones.
Well, once again I am reminded to NEVER say NEVER! Because here I go yet again eating my words. It was a very wonderful experience. Luka came out sparkly clean! He really needed that! I don’t know how he had managed to get so dirty, but when your hands stink after petting him something must be done! YEEEW! I am so grateful, the gals there really did an awesome job!
We were so blessed that they had a cancelation today and could fit him in! We can’t wait to go back! Ok, I think Luka can wait.. the whole time he looked at me while they were blowing him out… he seemed to be saying.. lets go, I am clean!!! Get me away from these blowers!
He hates when I use my blow drier.. But he was a champ and made it through with very little fuss! He’s a new man!
So what have you been resistant to? Yet again I am discovering that I am usually never right, and that I need to continue to keep an open mind about things, even if I have had an experience. Sometimes good things need a second or third look!
If I judge to early, I will be the one missing out! Someday I may learn! In the mean time just keep praying for me!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Good news.. the glasses are working. I read a map in about 20 seconds the other day, found the location and was able to spout off correctly which road to take. THIS HAS BEEN A HUGE PROBLEM in the past. So huge in fact that I’d been forbidden from giving directions! I had gotten us lost 5 times in a matter of minutes on a trip a few years ago. That compiled with the other “lost” directions I’d been giving got me fired from the job.
I get so confused and turned around, that still happens. I still don’t know where I am if we are out driving, but if you tell me to find something on a map now, I guess I’ll be good to go. We’ll be testing me out further I am sure. I am thrilled!! Before I would stare and stare at the map to find out what I was looking for, I knew what it was, I knew how to read the map, but somehow it all got mixed up and I couldn’t get it to come out right. Frustrating, and embarrassing for sure. I used to read maps quite often, that is how I was able to do so much traveling.
Oh happy day, there is hope for my brain. I am down now to one hour a day for the glasses. THRILLING I know. I go in next week to be tested or checked out or whatever.. I am still off balance, in fact I don’t have much improvement with that, but I can tell things are different. In the water trying to balance during therapy, oh I am sure I am funny to watch! It is quite the trick to keep me balanced in the pool, I need help, lots of it. But I am hopeful that this too will improve.
Next week I’ve more therapy appointments. Jason is working quite a lot so squeezing them in has been difficult. Not driving is really a pain when you need to leave town. =) But we are making due and things are working out. The other day while in a different small town, I was able to take a van ride to therapy. It cost $1.50 for there and back! Totally worth it, and I could take it anywhere I wanted! I’ve only used it once but may use it more, I haven’t heard of a service like this where I live. That would be totally cool if it existed, and it wasn’t to expensive.
In my home news, I sorted out clothes, that I don’t wear. I am getting rid of them, I’d already gifted a bunch of things to a neighbor. That felt fantastic! I still think I may need to break down and get rid of more things. I don’t like all of the clutter that the extra clothes and shoes make in my bedroom. I’ll be reevaluating as the weekend goes on what I want to keep and what should be rehomed. I also need to get through my sewing/craft/mk room. I think I’ve got things in there that I won’t be using either. Although winter is coming.. and I do hope to get some of those projects knocked out.
The extra good news is that I can sit upright for a while now. The bad news is I would still like more Radio Frequency Ablation done in lower parts of my neck and upper back. Those parts start to really hurt after a while of being up, and take quite a long time and lots of meds to get calmed back down. But, I’ve been able to do more things than at the beginning of the year FINALLY!!! I think I had the last round of injections in June or so, and I am finally able to move about more. This time the procedure was so weird. But I am thankful none the less.
I can’t decide if it will irritate the Dr. if I go back and ask for more injections. He’s had a little ego issue, and I think I pissed him off last time. Or maybe he was just really having a bad day… either way I think I pissed him off. For sure I pissed off his PA who seems to grate on my nerves. I don’t know how it is with you, but if I make an appointment with a person, any field, I expect that the appointment is going to be with THAT person. If for some reason it is not, all places in the past, including my former life would call and let me know, or at least inform me prior to someone different walking into the room with no explanation. That irritates me about this Dr’s office. HOW RUDE! I’ve gotten off on the wrong foot several times with this PA. In general I don’t mind seeing them. Just this one I have a problem with. Uggg…
Frustrated. For now I have avoided going back to see the Dr. I don’t know what my other options are. The procedure that this Dr does really does give me real lasting benefits! Granted they don’t last forever, but they last quite a while, and they don’t involve taking more pills!
I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know whether I am over sensitive, I sure could be. But in my whole life this is only the second time I’ve had a problem with a Dr, clinic or whatever.
Who knows… I guess I will just have to see what the future holds.