Sunday, May 30, 2010


Happy Memorial Day!

I was able to spend some time with my neighbor and in my heart a hero.  WWII Vetran who no longer lives right next to us but is living in one of the local assisted living homes.  He won't be joining the parade as he usually has.  But I hope that he will have a parade of visitors who continue to stop in and brighten his days! 

Speaking of hero's one of my favorite blogs is having a "Coming  Home" Photo Contest. 

Pioneer Woman  

I think these photo's sum up the experience what the hero's of our country mean. 

Thanks for the freedom!  Thanks for serving!  Thanks for doing all that you did and continue to do!

Maybe we can make it to the parade since he won't be able to...  

Pink Doberman

Thursday, May 27, 2010


Have you ever come to the end of your rope?  Have you ever thought I've been saying the same freeking thing for SIX years and NO ONE with a Medical Type Education really gets it?

Well finally they are listening!  FINALLY!

Finally someone is figuring out what to do with my broken body.  The darkest days I hope are fading quickly into the past.

I have found yet another Physical Therapist!  This guy has been seriously helping me.  The new shoe inserts are his handy work and the exercises are kicking my but, in a good way!  I have to get to another set of them before I knock off for the evening.

Things have been going better!  I hurt I still do, but things are changing.  I asked him why I couldn't have found him earlier... He said even if I had, the technology and the learning curves have just been perfected on the style of Physical Therapy he does.  I had seen other therapists with the same teaching, but it was years earlier.  My new PT is one of SIX people completely trained in this in the COUNTRY!  Athletes from all over the country come in to work with him.  The training program is just going online.  It is a three year training program for PTists after their initial degree.

I am still frustrated!  He is moving at the beginning of next month!  To IDAHO!  Can you believe it??  OMG! At least I am on the right track.  My other PTist is coordinating the water therapy to go along with what he is doing.  She is trained in some of the techniques.  But she has only just begun her three years of study with the program, and he is teaching it and has been using it for longer.

Fingers crossed.  He swears that the others that work with him have been going through the same training program and are good as well.  So I am going to trust that they are and give it a go.

But at least I know there is hope now.  I don't know how much I should hope for but I am at least quite positive that there is something out there that is helping.  If I can find someone to teach it to me that understands my weird condition.

I have been pretty busy.  The nice weather has sure helped.  I have done quite allot as of late in comparison to this winter.  Still not lots but more.  One day this week I sure did allot.  I helped Jason take pictures at our friends wedding!  That was super great!  I did so much better than I thought I might.  I did have to take medication, but it went well!  We got to see so many friends that we haven't seen in a while and others that we've been seeing quite allot of lately as well!

Things are getting better.  Still frustrated, but having hope helps!  I am also hooking up with a mentor and going to get learning about some more ideas I am having as well.

My mood is improving!  My stress level is still high but I have had some fun times this weekend.  The prayers are helping I am sure.  The pain has been more tolerable this week.  I am being so careful.  The Jeep with it's 1/2 new shocks is giving my neck a jolt when ever we go anywhere though. 

We could take my fathers car but the air conditioning is not working.... UGG..  =)  I have to keep my sense of humor! 

Jason has tilled the garden!  That is super!  I hope to get the plants planted tomorrow!  I may get this garden thing done yet!  I hope Jason is up to helping me plant! 

Well off to do my therapy routine!  YiPPPEEE!

Pink Doberman

Saturday, May 22, 2010

ReStRaiNiNg oRdER

Why do you stick around?  Why won't you leave?  I am really sick of hosting you.  I going to get a restraining order against you!  You are not welcome here!  At ALL!  So please leave and never come back!

My new therapist says you do not belong with me!

Restraining Order PAIN and SUFFERING is not allowed with in 1000 feet ME for the rest of MY life.

If you violate this restraining order you will be put back in hell where you belong!  You will not be allowed to return you will not get a second chance you will not be allowed to pass Go and Collect $200.

You are officially banished from my life!

I so wish this would work!  It is getting so frustrating.  The news only gets better.  My appointment with the doctor that injects the needles into my spine to stop the pain has had to be postponed AGAIN.  Oh God I am going to need you more than ever.  I don't want to take all of this medication.  I don't want to keep suffering like this either.

So this is the plan.  I am going to figure out something else to try and do.  I hope the people in my life will support me with what ever I choose.  I can't go down the path I was on before the accident.  At least not right now.  It requires to much physical work.  I am going to have to find a different path.

I need to think about something else, I need to build something.  I need to help others.  I need to keep focusing on getting better and do my exercises.  By the way have I mentioned I love my new shoe inserts?

I have two different physical therapists right now.  Their work is complementing each other.  One is working on stabilizing my bone structure and straightening out my skeleton by using very targeted exercises.  The other is helping me to build endurance and reinforce the targeted areas with water therapy!

My therapist has a tread mill in her pool!  It is fabulous.  I have a right leg problem.  Evidently I over use my right leg, which explains why it feels as it wants to buckle right out from underneath me and has before.  The pool has been a huge blessing for my body.  I couldn't do what I do out of the water and I am able to do it underwater and have no fear of falling associated with what she asks me to do!

One of our therapists got very real with both of us today.  I needed that and I think Jason did too.  God puts people in our lives for a reason.  

I am figuring out the team of medical people and the different types of therapies that are actually helping me.  My body is hypermobile and not many therapists have worked with someone like me who is so unstable.  But we are figuring it out!

More news on this front will be coming soon but I am getting some second opinions and things to just be sure.

In addition I have also been struggling mentally and emotionally.  It has been scary for those who are watching me go through this.  Quite frankly they have every reason to be worried.  I am worried about me too.

Where do I go from here?  Well I am filing that restraining order.  I have taken my medications and am taking more.  So far nothing is touching the pain in my neck.  Literally!

So if you pray.  I am asking for prayers for my mental well being, my physical well being.  I am not asking for your sympathy.  I am asking for a miracle.  It would do some good to pray allot for Jason too, he has his hands full with me.

Please also pray that I am able to sleep!  I have not been sleeping well at all.  If I am going to have any chance of improving at all I need to sleep.
Thanks to some great friends we are making it through.  I've just got to find a way to deal with the guilt of the devastation of our dreams.  Even though the car accident was not at all my fault.  I have a body that medical people don't understand how it works and don't know how to make me well.

I think I might have finally found someone who knows, and he is moving in June to Idaho.  My newest person to my medical puzzle is leaving.  I can't say I am happy about this.  But I am feeling so grateful that I am being helped by him while he is still around.  If you live in Idaho and you get hurt.  You need to go see this Physical Therapist the methods he uses are different and they are NEW to the field of Physical Therapy.  And they are working I am noticing a difference.  Small but good! 

Off to count some sheep now.

Pink Doberman

Friday, May 21, 2010

My nEiGhBoRs!

Some days just make me smile.  I have some pretty cool neighbors!  They are observant and I just LOVE that!  They pay attention without judgment.  I try to do the same thing.  Suspicious cars or people can be called in on a moments notice if something seems fishy.  My neighbors may also let you know you are being watched if you show up here.  I think that is great!  I love my neighborhood!  My neighbors rock!

Watchful neighbors equal a safer neighborhood! 

Great friends are wonderful to have as well.  I hope you have great neighbors too!  If you don't know them it might be fun to get out and meet them this summer!   Be involved!

Hopefully this will be the year we all get together for a picnic!


Thursday, May 20, 2010


Some days don't you wonder where all of the time goes?  I am old.   What happened to my thirties?  I was really looking forward to that era.  It seemed that the thirties are where all that you worked so hard for in your twenties would come to bear fruit.  Or at least show it's bud. 

It is spring I've been watching the budding trees and the flowering the rain has come the flowers have fallen, the iris have risen and are starting to wilt.  The leaves n the trees are filling out and soon things will be changing again.  I must say the nicer weather is a welcome relief. 

I had so many plans for our future. 

I need to figure out a plan for my future now.  I don't even understand what that means any more.  I wish I knew what my future held.  I have a feeling that if I were smart I would just shut my eyes now.

That's all she wrote...

Pink Doberman

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

pAiN pAiN gO aWaY.... NeVeR CoMe BaCk... yOuR nOt iNviTeD!

So today I am still feeling my neck pain.. It flared up yesterday, while the migraine never got past the start, the neck pain is continuing to increase.  I've been leaning back in bed or laying down most of the day.  But I did want to get some things done.  So I have not been here the whole day.

Kind of in a fog as well.  So my mental activity has been limited for most of the day.  I am doing better now, evenings are better usually. 

I can't wait to get to the doctor so I can get some more radio frequency facet blocks.. or what ever they call them.  I think I will be able to be more active after that.  I've got it scheduled for this month, the date has just not arrived yet.  It has been frustrating, the openings that the doctor had did not work well with Jason's schedule this time.  Usually we have an easier time of getting in when he is around.  I think the doctor must be going on vacation or something. 

Getting my exercises  done has been a challenge I must say.  Jason and I seem to be communicating on two different wave lengths.  Literally.  What I intend for him to understand as one thing.. he is understanding as something completely different and vice versa. 

We are just really having to work at things.  The exercise issue is just one of the miss communication area.  It is not a new issue for us.  But when we both get tired sometimes we do not realize that it is happening.  That can be stressful. 

It is not funny but it is understandable.  We just have to keep working harder at the subtle differences in word meanings.  He uses words with some of the definitions and I use the same words and intend other definitions.  Oh lordy lordy help us!  It is something.  Probably highly amusing if someone were to be watching our conversations... 

Gosh, I really think we might speak different languages. 

The one other thing that frustrated me about today.  I went to get up I did it rather quickly and well I am suffering for it now as well.  I need to remember to just slow down.  I have really been working to do this.  It isn't that I can't move quickly at least a little... but when I do it can end up causing me more pain.  That is once again the case.  Oh why oh why oh why....  Sometimes I just want to scream.. but that would probably hurt also. 

I love Ice I love Ice... I've got the electric blanket along with my old sweats and I am also using ICE.. go figure.  ( I also have the heat on in the house in MAY!!!  Good grief!  Hopefully I can function tomorrow, if I don't send my body into shock with this ICE... but I hurt and the only thing that will help besides more pain pills and lying here is ICE...

Lord willing tomorrow I will wake up without being worse yet.  My hope is that I will be feeling wonderful and if my head were as light as a feather.  Pray for this! 

I also have ordered Luka his new Muttluks!  He has very successfully worn out the ones we got him not to long ago.   I am getting two sets in.  One just like he has now and another pair that is also water proof.  They will be shipping from Canada later this week.  He's going to be so proud of his new boots!!

I managed to get some dishes done, some paper sorted, I got the mail watered the plants and I did the only exercise that I can do on my own.  I am sore afterwords too, but those muscles are a good sore. 

Tomorrow is more water therapy more spine therapy and lots of other lovely things.  (NOT)  But that is the way things go these days.  I am just praying that by the time we are done with it all that he will have time to attack the forest that our and our neighbors lawns have become with all of this rain!  Oh my! 

I've been learning allot these days as well.  I will share more later.  I never thought I'd be learning about all of this but I am and I am going to at least become proficient at it.  Eventually.  I think it takes me longer to learn things than the average person.  Well most regular things that is... crafty things well I can seem to get that in a snap.  I do much better work with my hands most times than my brain.  Especially now.  Typing is a blessing!  Especially since I failed it in High School. 

Well, Luka is all tucked in.  I need to be also.

My fingers are finished with the talking for now.

Blessings and Hugs!

Pink Doberman

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Not to bad.  I've been doing pretty well considering.  Luka did a great job of alerting to another migraine.  I am grateful for that.  It was nice too because other people got to see him do it.  Usually the only ones around are therapists or Jason.  It isn't that they don't count but everyone always asks how does he tell you.

He stares and wiggles at me.  It is similar to his need to go outside, so I usually have to ask him the difference just to be sure.  But there are subtle differences to tell the two signs apart as well.  Problem was I was already not feeling well so I wasn't good at noticing those.  But he was persistent thank goodness. 

I don't really remember what else we had done, but I was busy with something prior to that.  We were at a friends house she was helping me learn some things on the computer and we were just catching up as well.  I still haven't used what she tried to teach me, it is kind of a blur..  =)

Jason drove as usual, thank goodness.  He was so tired when we got home. 

It was fun to have had my father visit as well.  He left here to visit his brother and will soon be drilling beans I am just sure... well when it ever stops raining..

That's it for now.  Luka has been so great!  I am so lucky to have him!  While my migraines are getting caught sooner and happening in general less frequently the neck pain is still in rare form.  Wish that would dissipate as well!  Have I mentioned I love my new shoe inserts!!!  My hips are doing so much better!!! 

Oh, we ate pizza this afternoon at Sam and Louie's Pizza... THEY MAKE A GLUTEN FREE PIZZA!!  Yippee!!  And it was good!  We will be having that again I am just sure!  All of the other patrons there were super nice as well.  Especially the family who envied how well behaved Luka was compared to their three month old lab puppy...  Luka is well behaved.. I can't imagine raising a puppy... Oh my!  I love my shoes to much for that.  Even though I just look at them now.  =)

Pink Doberman

Monday, May 17, 2010

My BoDy is the same as the WeAtHeR...

It has been a good day for me.  I say this as I am EXHAUSTED... but not really sleepy.. UGGGG...

I however will not be writing much.  I am going to get this out of my head and then I am going to tuck in my head in to my bed.

Busy day...
Dad's been here!  Which is wonderful.
Woke up EARLY  on my own, my body just woke me up.. Wierd... so early!  Before Dad even got up...
Ran errands with dad.  Including taking a "sample" you can only imagine... of Luka's to the vet to get checked out.. (they called.. just a bacteria, a harmless sort)  PHEW...  I think I am going over the edge...

Ok and then on to my fathers list... while I happily and tiredly waited in the car.
Lunch at TACO BELL...  his first time there.  I think he liked it.  I am introducing my father to all sorts of crazy new things... I wonder if he is wondering how he made it so far in life with out my direction..??

Then on to a grocery, I picked a few things out.  I don't have a membership for this place.  We used to but I really can't justify the yearly fee... I think it is to much and I am rebelling... Besides everyone else has a membership and I don't get to shop much anyway so it all works out. =)  Got some Parmesan Cheese... A huge wedge of it.  I think I have eaten 1/2 of it already.

We left there I slept the entire way home in the car.. but what's new on this front... Nothing.. I think Jason has the most pictures of me asleep in the car with my mouth wide open in some contorted position because I can't seem to hold myself upright..   Lord help me if those ever see the light of the internet.  I think they might just shut the whole thing down...

I needless to say after not sleeping much the night before and my activity around the grocery store, I slept all afternoon.  Luka was excited to be escorting me around, now that he has stopped making messes due to his upset tummy.  Still have yet to hear about the allergy test but we are getting there..

Slept and relaxed when we got back and Dad left to go do some more perusing... He got back around supper time and after my four or so hour rest.  I made supper with the goodies we had gotten at the store!

That was nice.  I had some fun things to make something with.  This winter we've been severely lacking in motivational foods to cook with..  Fresh spinach, fresh strawberries, cheese, etc..  Well it all worked out.  I will have to make it for Jason when he gets home.

The night went well also.  After I ate, I even did the dishes...  Thanks to Jason for having cleaned the kitchen!!   I felt good enough for a walk as well.  I guess it is a good thing we went for the walk..  Dad and I watched a bunch of kids climb the fence into the public swimming pool...  No real water in the thing, but still some day there might be...   Let's just say knowing the police in town personally can be a good thing.  The matter was resolved without chatter on my part.  I just let my fingers do the talking.

So convenient, and Luka got to go for a run!  Dad and I got a walk.. I am not sure that Dad thought it was much of a walk but I sure did.  I was a tired girl upon our return.  But I did it, no one had to carry me home or anything!!!  We went 4 whole blocks with a little extra mixed in!  Pretty good I'd say after my busy day.

I was thankful to do some nice things with my Dad.

I must tell you I love my new shoe inserts.  I hurt so much less!  Still hurt but less hurt is a welcome thing!

I am looking forward to tomorrow.  I will however plan to sleep much longer...  Well that is my plan anyway.  Let's see what my body decides to do.

My body is like the weather in Nebraska.  You only know the second it becomes a reality what it is going to behave like.  I am always as surprised as ever!!

Luka did just great!  It was a fun day.  Made it even better I had a nice day with Dad.  My migraines have become so much less significant!  I am thrilled!  Keep praying it continues! 

Pink Doberman

Sunday, May 16, 2010

iNsPiReD fEeT


Who inspires you? 

I have a very long list of people who inspire me.  I'd say first on my list is my husband Jason.

I think the people who have always inspired me the most are people I have known and learned from personally.  I have been motivated and entertained by others farther removed from my personal circles.  I have learned much from these people as well.

I find that I really need to focus on listen not to what they say but watch what they do to see who they are and learn whether or not to believe if they are genuine or correct. 

I am writing this not because of any recent bad things, but because it is the truth for anyone who may not have learned this lesson.  For me it took me quite along time.  In fact I still have to work at that. 

On another note, Luka is doing well.  I think there still may be something that he needs added to his diet to help in is digestion on a regular basis.  But for now the throwing up has seemed to subside.  Thankfully.  I am still waiting to hear about the results of his allergy test.  But things are surely improving. 

Jason and I were out after therapy the other day and we went to a store and bought some plants.  Gosh those suckers are expensive!  Hopefully I can keep them alive so they will produce some food to make them worth the purchase.  It has been so rainy wet and dreary that I can't get them in the garden either..

I am however going to try to do that soon.  I may be a mess afterward but they have got to get planted.  But who knows with my new shoes and excersizes well...  But for the record I won't be wearing my new orthodic shoes in the garden.  I only have one pair and the white is already turning grey.  I am planning to wear them at weddings and all... I will be one of those people that get stared at for wearing distasteful shoes. 

That is of course unless I can get some new shoes before we go to them.  But hopefully this will be helping me to keep all of my bendy parts in place!  FINGERS CROSSED!  Even though I will look like a huge fashion mistake. 

If you know me you are also understanding how this is destroying my sense of self..  I of course am the shoes I wear.  My havanias are starring at me from my closet.  I just got a bunch of them to wear this summer.  I was planning to be so styilish this summer.  But pain free and healthy me outweigh having cool feet. 

I am hoping I can make it through.  I want you to know that with every fiber of my being I want to stick my toes out in the sunshine.  Since I have not been able to wear my awesome platform heals either, I thought these would be a great substitute. 

But NO.  My therapist has other ideas.  SNEAKERS...  I will be wearing SNEAKERS....  Uggg.

I may have to get some more sweat pants to go with my sneakers.  So if you see me in my sneakers with in appropriate attire.. Well tell me how great they look.  I am thinking of adding sparkles and bejeweling them.  At least they will have personality then! 

I am not my feet.  I am not the shoes I wear.  I am going to keep telling myself this until I believe it. 

I am not my feet. I am not the shoes I wear.
I am not my feet. I am not the shoes I wear..  I am really going to have to work at this.

Stay tuned.  I may have to have a nervous breakdown over this ordeal. 

And to top it off, the therapist who is helping me make all of these wonderful improvements, is moving!  YES MOVING!  ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME????  

I FINALLY FIND THIS GUY, and the RECEPTIONIST tells me that he is MOVING!  UGGG...   So frustrated. 

Pray for me.   And Pray for my Sneaker covered in-soled feet.  ( they do feel marvelous by the way ) 

Pink Doberman

Saturday, May 15, 2010

uNiQuElY yOu!

"Every time you feel sorry for me you make me less." by Michael Kutcher, who was born with Cerebral Palsy.

I feel that way quite often.  I am certainly not looking for sympathy.  I am looking for understanding and cooperation.  I want to find what I can do and do it the best I can.  One thing at a time.  Change has always been that way for me.  But I keep plugging away and soon I will be great!

I really like surrounding myself with people who are great at what they do and being who they are.  I love being around people who know who they are.  People who are not walking around with anything to prove and people that have an explosive life force within them. 

My life force has not been very explosive for quite a while.  I am sure it will be sometime.  One thing fixed at a time.  Some of the most unlikely people are the best at what they do.  Most often they are not always the people who've had the easiest time getting their either.

 Besides struggle causes humility and grace.  While also gaining knowledge in the process, I think it not only makes you a stronger person but a better person. 

I hope this process is making me an even better person.  I have gone through allot in my life already.  I am amazed I have made it this far in life on a regular basis.  Those who know me I am sure think that as well.  I am different.  I have always been different.  I like being unique.  I think each person is unique, I just wish that they would embrace what makes them special and use it. 

What is unique about you?  Where do you fall on the scale of showing others who you really are?  Do you constantly hide yourself, or feel that you are unworthy?  I know I am special because God does not make junk!  And you are not junk either. 

Go out and be uniquely you, even if it is adding one bit of yourself into your life each day, it is a start!  Offer yourself a little understanding and hand that out to others as well!

Pink Doberman

Friday, May 14, 2010


I am reminded continuously that if you are a person who is healthy that that equals a wealth of different choices and oportunities. 

So I am continuously working hard to be healthy.  I am trying to do what I can to keep fit.  I am working hard to study what will keep me on the right track.  I am eating as good as possible as well.  I guess this is where my post today is headed. 

I am excited to share I have been eating better than ever for the past 22 months.  I have been drinking vitamin shakes and increasing the intake of vitamins and minerals, I had stopped drinking soda YEARS ago.  I had stopped drinking milk and eating ice cream YEARS ago as well. 

I think these are all good things I had been doing.  I am now almost completely Gluten Free.  The shake and bars and things I have been eating are all Gluten Free as well. 

Ware also eating eggs and chicken from a local farmer who grows them with out all of the bad things.  We are trying to keep growing my own vegetables and eating things that are pesticide free from my own garden.  Shopping, well things are improving there as  well.  I am learning allot.  Do my shopping on the outside of the store!  That was the beginning of my change.  The other change I will be making is a shift to getting a few more things the "Organic" way. 

Here are some links for you to check out if you are interested. 

Another Bloggers perspective:  Sarah's Health Soup

Here is something that will give you a good place to start.  Quick Tips!  From Prevention Magazine

Well, things are moving along here in other area's as well! 

I've gotten my new shoe inserts!  I got them yesterday!  Oh my do my feet feel wonderful!  I am having an easier time walking about, I am still not "great" but I am feeling more confident.  Between my new Therapy Regime and my new feet I am hopeful I can at least start holding my own instead of continuing to slide backwards.  Don't get me wrong I will also be working toward getting things back to the way I was.  That is always a focus as well. 

I need to have something to celebrate and SIX years of not making it there tends to wear on the psyche! 

But I am thrilled to be doing better and I am LOVING my new inserts for my feet!  Just loving them!  So hopefully... 

We've got lots going on here soon.  With my therapy appointments and Jason doing the extra things he does to keep up with things well.  We are doing well, but things keep me fairly distracted and overwhelmed.  I am not doing well at anything, not completing anything it seems but I am doing what I can and that is for sure!  So Fingers CROSSED... the little I do with each thing will be enough.. 

Here is an example.  I did the dishes.. well I finished loading the dishwasher and RAN IT!  I also cleaned off the kitchen table for the most part... A few stacks of things are left.  But a whole section of it has been cleared off.  I also walked out and looked at where the garden will be going.  I am hopeful for that as well. 

The weather today was slightly warmish as well.  It was nice just to have the sun shining through the windows today!  That is a welcome sign that change is on the way. 

There is lots more I am sure that I could say, but I am done for now.  I am at least back to posting more.  I am happy about that. 

I hope you are making some healthy choices in your life.  I think changing everything all at once is difficult.  But if you are constantly evolving your decisions and your actions you will eventually be extremely proud of all that you have accomplished!  That is how my life has always worked for me.  Even before the accident.  I would master one change at at time.  And that is what I am doing now. 

If you take care of your HEALTH you will have a WEALTH of choices and opportunities!

I think you can do it too! 


Pink Doberman

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Often we are told that we are different because we have an injury or illness.  What about the idea that we are just a different type of person with different gifts to give.  What if we are meant for this in some greater plan.

I don't know what the plan for me is.  I used to think I knew.  But I've been derailed.  Essentially I accomplished what I set out to do as well.  I planted seeds that are still growing and flourishing.  I gave opportunities to those who would have never known of them before.  While I am not reaping the financial benefits of these seeds I am reaping the satisfaction of knowing that what I did impacted so many lives and will continue to impact so many other lives in the future because of what I did before my car accident.

I am so grateful that these women are better for having had me in their lives.

I just watched this movie on PBS.  The Horse Boy Movie.  It struck a deep cord with in me.  I have mentioned before how I am a true admirer of Temple Grandin.  She is a remarkable person with remarkable gifts.  She has contributed to our planet in many ways that can not even be counted.  She is an inspiration as well as this boy is to those who know him.  This boy's parents and those around him in this movie were inspirations.  In addition I truly believe that this boy is destined to change allot of lives for the better.  He's already changed many.

Who's lives are you impacting?  Are you giving them the impact that you want them to have?  How do you need to adjust to offer what you want them to have?

I have many directions being presented to me right now.  I don't know which will be the best suited for me.  I have ideas.  My ideas don't stop they have not stopped.  I have become very depressed because I have not been able to get my ideas out in to the world.  I feel as if they are shut inside me screaming to get out.

I identify with The Horse Boy.  How do I find a way to accomplish my dream of inspiring others to create greatness in their own lives?  What am I able to do?  Time will tell I guess.

I am not giving up.

Pink Doberman

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

jUgGLiNg aCt

Do you ever feel as if you are in a Juggling Act.  Everyone assuming that you are a consummate pro.  They never expect you to drop anything that you are holding and consider it an amazing feat when you don't. 

Then other times they just know you can handle more so those around you just keep tossing stuff in to the floating menagerie.  You can only juggle so much before it all tumbles. 

My friends know about this all to well.  The Throwing Picasso's  Sometimes you just need someone to toss all o that extra stuff to. 

Thank you to those of you who are catching the things about to fall from my arms. 

This post struck me today.  I really needed to read this.  You might need to read it too. 
It is The Perfect Prayer

I hope you read it!


Thursday, May 6, 2010

ThErApY... boy OH boy!

Exciting day of sorts.

Things are working out very well, beside the fact I really don't even want to be moving even my fingers at this point.  I am one very worked over girl.

I got molds made for orthopedic inserts today.  The little things that slip in your shoes.  Evidently since it is so hard for me to walk and I have not been moving much for six years due to all sorts of pain everywhere...  My arches had crashed.  So I guess that is one of the things that has been causing some of the instability issues. 

Well time will tell.  I've been re evaluated.  Re measured at a new place my doctors have sent me to.  Ugg!  But it is a good thing too.  There is hope, I hope.  At least maybe I can stop feeling like I am going to fall over and stop actually falling over!  That would help quite allot.  Jason is on board as my Physical Therapy Supervisor.  The new things are TRICKY!  Girl really has to concentrate on the moves! 

I also went to H2O Therapy today as well.  I've been so scared to walk even on treadmills.  Lots of anxiety for me on those crazy things.  I would rather walk on one of them than on the uneven streets and sidewalks but still they move on their own and I feel a great deal of stress trying to stay on them.  I know it is dumb to feel this way, but when your leg buckles at strange moments you really don't want to get thrown to the floor. 

My water therapy has an underwater treadmill!  How cool is that?  But boy oh boy am I feeling it.  I've been resting ever since and will probably continue.

I will keep you posted on how things are going.  I need to figure a few things out, my neck is pretty sore, but the rest of me just has that good I have used my body pain. 

I feel successful today.  Thanks Jason!
Sorry no pictures yet.  Jason has been taking them I am just super slow with these things lately.  More to come I promise.

Pink Doberman

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My MiNt!

I am excited.  I am finally getting things set up again for therapy!  Everything seems to take so long.  I have hope and I have a continued desire to keep going. 

Things are finally rolling again.  My water therapy that my doctor wanted me to do is up and going.  My first time will be tomorrow.  I am excited.  Finally no fear of falling off the dumb treadmill!  There is one under all that water.  Yippee! 

I can't wait!  I've also got another therapy starting.  I have yet to find out what other type of pain and torcher they will be putting me through.  It is as of yet a mystery!  But I am game.  Got to give it a go!  I certainly don't like staring out the windows much.  Hopefully I will get back to going out on my own tomorrow.

I had lots of questions for my doctors this week.  Got lots of answers some good and some I really did not want to know.  I've got my appointments lined up for the next several weeks so that is wonderful.  Jason has asked that I not schedule to far in advance in case he wants to do something.  I am trying to honor that. 

Until I can get back to where I can be behind the wheel a bit more, he will be driving me.  Right now I just don't have the energy for it.  I guess that is what this winter did to me.  With a little time and effort I am sure I will be back to moving a bit more easily, and driving myself to my appointments. 

Now if only Luka would stop throwing up!  UGGGG!  I hope what I am trying for him will work. 

Meanwhile things here have seriously gone to the birds.  I did manage to get a load of dishes done today..  That is good news!  Until now my neck had been bugging me.  Yesterday was quite busy!  That was nice.  We ate at Jason's favorite place went to the Dr's and made a long over due delivery, as well as helped out a friend who's been helping us out. 

Nice!  Nice to do these things.  Nice of Jason to make sure I could do them all!  Great husbands are treasures, and mine is worth a mint!

Pink Doberman

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Well after my three hours of fun last night.  I managed to sleep for over 12 hours.  Unfortunately it was not straight through.  I may have slept less if that would have been the case.  I was sleeping better than I had in days last night. 

However this was not the case for Luka.  He did not end up attending the event with us.  It worked out well that he did not.  But that also meant that Jason did a lot of running to get things and I did a tremendous amount of sitting.  It worked out well though! 

I think I am going to try to get a visit in to the reception venue so that I can go have a look around.  I think it would be super fun to take some pictures there.  It sure was a neat place. 

Luka has been having some tummy issues again.  He stayed home from last night.  I can't seem to get the food thing right.  I am going to take him  in for more tests this week.  Hopefully I can get him in to the Dr tomorrow.  But I've got appointments that are going to run all day myself at the Dr.  UGGG.  Don't know how to do it all.  Wish I did. 

Obviously with the problems that he is having he won't be going to the Dr's with me tomorrow.  I just hope we can find something out soon.  I think 1/2 of the problem is the availability of certain foods.  Right now I can't get pumpkin.  I've got squash, but I can't get it cut so I can cook it.  It is too tough or my knives are to dull.  Probably both.  Jason usually cuts it, but he's been pretty busy and his list to do is long.  I forgot to remind him as well.  Yeeks.

I have started some seeds of squash.  I hope they turn out good.  I hope they are better than my crop of none last year.  I am going to plant a crop of three sisters.  But I am altering the plan a bit.  Instead of growing corn I am going to plant sunflowers.  And then the beans and squash!  I think it will work out splendidly.

At least that is my plan.  I better get some sunflower seeds!  Yikes!

My crop of sunflowers did not fair well last year either.  I got one to grow... but it never finished out making the little seeds inside the shells.  They were empty.  Such a disappointment after drying it.  I guess that is what you can expect from my cheep seeds.  My flowers and my sunflowers didn't grow.  I am not buying my seeds from Walmart again this year.  I have learned my expensive lesson.  I was so disappointed on so many levels.

I worked so hard to get them each to grow.  All summer long.  All I could think was if I just stick with it something will start growing and I will have some food to put on our table for the effort.  Saving us money and having given me something productive to have done with my time.  Dumb seeds.

Here's to having a good crop of vegetables!  Now I better get some planted!

Pink Doberman

Monday, May 3, 2010


A good night.  It was just the perfect night for a wedding party.  It was a lovely reception.  I am so glad that Jason and I were able to attend.  We hung out with friends, wished our friends the newly married couple the best and might I just add they looked just magnificent.

I really can't say enough about the reception in the Omaha Mansion.  It was lovely and beautiful, classy, and fun.  Jason ended up having a great time.. (he just loves social events.  Actually he does not mind them except that he feels out of sorts. Give my husband a fire jacket and a helmet and hose and he will be all set.)

We had a great night!  I think our friends did too.  The one thing I wish is that I could have gone through out the mansion and looked at all of the rooms.  What I did see of it was just splendid!  I ended up sitting down the entire night visiting and socializing.  Jason ran back and forth to the buffet tables  to get us food.  I seemed to be starving!  I ate everything in sight.  I loved the chocolate covered strawberries for sure.

The night I am sure went off with out a hitch!  I even got to use my signing skills a bit.  They are completely rusty and in need of shaking out.  It was nice none the less.  I was happy with that for sure.

I had a wonderful time.  I am also no apparent worse for wear!  It is a busy month.  I hope I can make it through with some grace and dignity!

Blessings I hope you've had something that fills your heart happen to you this week!  I am quite grateful!

Pink Doberman

Sunday, May 2, 2010

CiNnAmOn ToAsT

My day finished out pretty well.  By no means did I get my list finished or even 1/2 finished.  But I did get more accomplished.  I feel pretty good about that. 

Luka has food, that is the main thing.  So life is good.  Today is another day.  Jason is busy busy busy!  He's already accomplished quite allot.  Right now he is out mowing our neighbors yard.  We love our neighbors.  We have lots of stay at home neighbors and the other ones work different types of hours so there is almost always someone outside especially in the summer!  I love that! 

I am hoping to do some more things yet today, but I'd say I've already accomplished allot.  I took my bath/shower and shaved my legs.  Major accomplishment because I think I had a forest to cut.  I now have cut up legs... =(.  Jason remembered to get me a new razor today and it is really really sharp.  I now have bandages all over my legs...  But I am nice and clean and shaved. 

Which I guess is why I am choosing to type right now.  I am needing a rest from all of this.  My neck started to flare up as usual, so I will just sit back and relax until it calms down. 

I have also been learning how to train a dog to trigger on certain smells and behaviors.  Luka already came trained.  Which is great.  But I've not been the best at reinforcing it.  I am doing better that I did when I first got him, but with no training myself on how Service Dogs are motivated and the words that were used with him.  He was trained but I was not.  So I've been doing lots of education for myself.  I am finally feeling more confident. 

Although the next dog I get I will hopefully go through training with the program that I get my dog from.  That would be the ideal thing I think.  At least I was already educated about how to have a nice obedient dog.  I had mastered that with the two the Jason and I had raised.  Now that they are both gone, well it is sad for sure.

Luka sure has been good at filling the space in our hearts.  Thank goodness for that. 

I think I am going to make eggs for lunch today.  I am hungry and making eggs will hit the spot.  Besides I doubt my husband is dying for me to cook spaghetti anytime soon.  I really destroyed that meal.  A couple of eggs and some toast should be fast and easy.  I think I am going to make the toast cinnamon toast, which will probably ruin the combination but I am dying to try a certain new recipe for it.  You can find it here.   I of course it seems was taught the WRONG way to make cinnamon toast.  I love cinnamon toast and am sure that I will love this new way as well.  Possibly even more than I currently do.  The only down side is that there is gluten in my toast today. 

I have yet to have the energy to make any gluten free breads.  Since I am dying for some I decided to just break down and do it right!  I will plan to make some soon.  I just want the house clean so I can bake with a clear mind.  I also want the garden planted.  I think that the evolution of my gluten free life is doomed.  I am searching for already made options as well.  Everything requires more energy and neck effort than I have these days it seems. 

Oh the joys!  Well, I am also hoping to switch a load of laundry around.  Jason may have already done this.  Probably has.  ..  well I am working on my list.  One thing at a time.  First I need nourishment.  Gotta start those eggs!  We get ours from the farmer down the road.  If you are local to me let me know and I will let you in on my source! 

Pink Doberman

SIDE NOTE:  I did end up making the recipe for the cinnamon toast.  I liked it so did Jason.  Here is what I think I was lacking.  Good quality cinnamon.  I dumped lots and lots of cinnamon in my bowl  more than was called for.  Still had a very slight cinnamon flavor.  I won't share the brand of cinnamon I had with you but it was a least expensive kind.  Also she mentioned Mexican Vanilla.  I don't have that.  That vanilla is much richer, so I just added more.  It had a slight vanilla taste but I can't help but think that better vanilla would have yielded more flavor.  So all in all it went well.  But with my cheep ingredients, I think I prefer to do it the way my mother taught me in the toaster. 

I will eventually get better ingredients and plan to try it again. 

Saturday, May 1, 2010

ToDaY's LiSt!

We hope to go camping sometime, I need to figure this out as well.  (I've promised to go camping for years now to Jason with unfortunate disappointment it has not been able to happen yet.)
I need to clean about everything in this house.  I don't know of anything that does not have a layer of dust on it.  So I won't even bother to list all of these things out.
I need to do some clothing repairs.

Some of these things have the potential to set me back a few days.  Things like laundry, Things like sweeping or picking up things.  (I have to carefully assess if I should do them.)  I weigh the thoughts of doing them.. and the costs associated.. along with Jason's desire to do them.. or if I am the only one who can do them.

Sometimes I just have to attack everything with a vengeance and suffer the consequences.  But I can't do that today.  There is something important happening in the near future.  I need to do all I can to stay able to move and be as free from medication as possible.

Taking a moment today to write.  I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed.  These days come and go.  I have lists and lists of things I need to get done.  I am feeling reasonably well today.  Of which I am incredibly grateful!  I now am faced with my lists and lists of things. 

Determining what I should spend my time doing is difficult. 

I did get our bills paid already.  That comes first on every list. 
I have a list of people I need to get called.
I have seeds that need to be planted in order for me to have something to plant in the garden.
I need to order other types of seeds so I can get them started as well be fore it is too late.
I need to make Luka's food and feed him.
I also need to order some plants to transplant.  ( it is already to late to start the seeds)
Laundry needs done as well.  We've begun to run out of items to wear.
The dishwasher needs to be ran.  ( I've slowly been filling it.)
The kitchen needs to be cleaned. 
I need to call another appointment to schedule.
I need to check on current orders.
I need to check bank accounts.
I need to get software installed on my new gratefully given to me computer.
I also need to work on some pictures that Jason and I have taken so I can share them with you.  And we have other things needing to be done as well.

What I have done today already?  I have let Luka out.  I have done some laundry.  I have gotten dressed.  I have brought the computer software by the computer.  I have organized the never ending supply of paper that enters this house.  Little elves carry it in and dump it all over the place in an effort to make everyone MAD!   I have watered the plants I have already started from seed!  (They are growing.  Some better than others.. but none the less they are growing.)  I am also doing a cleanse day today.  I just really don't want to cook anything today.  I am going to have to, as Luka needs a bunch of food cooked up for him... so I need to get that added to my list.  I did start thawing it yesterday.  Which is fabulous to already have it ready to go.  ( I can be so smart sometimes.. =)! )

Well it isn't much that I have gotten done.  But considering I need to rest between each of these things, I think it has gone well. 

Well I am off! 

Blessings to you and yours. 

Pink Doberman