Saturday, May 22, 2010

ReStRaiNiNg oRdER

Why do you stick around?  Why won't you leave?  I am really sick of hosting you.  I going to get a restraining order against you!  You are not welcome here!  At ALL!  So please leave and never come back!

My new therapist says you do not belong with me!

Restraining Order PAIN and SUFFERING is not allowed with in 1000 feet ME for the rest of MY life.

If you violate this restraining order you will be put back in hell where you belong!  You will not be allowed to return you will not get a second chance you will not be allowed to pass Go and Collect $200.

You are officially banished from my life!

I so wish this would work!  It is getting so frustrating.  The news only gets better.  My appointment with the doctor that injects the needles into my spine to stop the pain has had to be postponed AGAIN.  Oh God I am going to need you more than ever.  I don't want to take all of this medication.  I don't want to keep suffering like this either.

So this is the plan.  I am going to figure out something else to try and do.  I hope the people in my life will support me with what ever I choose.  I can't go down the path I was on before the accident.  At least not right now.  It requires to much physical work.  I am going to have to find a different path.

I need to think about something else, I need to build something.  I need to help others.  I need to keep focusing on getting better and do my exercises.  By the way have I mentioned I love my new shoe inserts?

I have two different physical therapists right now.  Their work is complementing each other.  One is working on stabilizing my bone structure and straightening out my skeleton by using very targeted exercises.  The other is helping me to build endurance and reinforce the targeted areas with water therapy!

My therapist has a tread mill in her pool!  It is fabulous.  I have a right leg problem.  Evidently I over use my right leg, which explains why it feels as it wants to buckle right out from underneath me and has before.  The pool has been a huge blessing for my body.  I couldn't do what I do out of the water and I am able to do it underwater and have no fear of falling associated with what she asks me to do!

One of our therapists got very real with both of us today.  I needed that and I think Jason did too.  God puts people in our lives for a reason.  

I am figuring out the team of medical people and the different types of therapies that are actually helping me.  My body is hypermobile and not many therapists have worked with someone like me who is so unstable.  But we are figuring it out!

More news on this front will be coming soon but I am getting some second opinions and things to just be sure.

In addition I have also been struggling mentally and emotionally.  It has been scary for those who are watching me go through this.  Quite frankly they have every reason to be worried.  I am worried about me too.

Where do I go from here?  Well I am filing that restraining order.  I have taken my medications and am taking more.  So far nothing is touching the pain in my neck.  Literally!

So if you pray.  I am asking for prayers for my mental well being, my physical well being.  I am not asking for your sympathy.  I am asking for a miracle.  It would do some good to pray allot for Jason too, he has his hands full with me.

Please also pray that I am able to sleep!  I have not been sleeping well at all.  If I am going to have any chance of improving at all I need to sleep.
Thanks to some great friends we are making it through.  I've just got to find a way to deal with the guilt of the devastation of our dreams.  Even though the car accident was not at all my fault.  I have a body that medical people don't understand how it works and don't know how to make me well.

I think I might have finally found someone who knows, and he is moving in June to Idaho.  My newest person to my medical puzzle is leaving.  I can't say I am happy about this.  But I am feeling so grateful that I am being helped by him while he is still around.  If you live in Idaho and you get hurt.  You need to go see this Physical Therapist the methods he uses are different and they are NEW to the field of Physical Therapy.  And they are working I am noticing a difference.  Small but good! 

Off to count some sheep now.

Pink Doberman

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you...