Believing in friends makes the difference. I know when I have friends who believe in me, I definitely feel stronger, with a greater sense of well being. It does not matter how good or bad my life is going, but if I have friends in my corner, my life does go smoother. They don't have to agree with me on things, but to know that they are there for me no matter what is the best feeling ever.
Through the times like these, where my life is not as I had planned or dreamed it would be, that I find myself with limited resources my friends mean the most! The phone calls, emails, and those who stop by and share their time are the BEST! Just to know some one is rooting for me, that someone is taking time to listen to me, and still wants to spend time with me even though I can't do things with/for them as I used to.
I wish I could be a better friend to my friends. I know that I have so many people around me who could use some help, use a hug, or just someone to listen to them. I always have hoped to be a good friend. Sometimes life happens as it is right now for me, where all of your energy seems to be used up. Your time disappears, and life happens, I know that everyone goes through this, their problems, and their needs, seem so important, so trying and so difficult.
The past few years, giving back to others, became so impossible, compared to the life I had before. Now the differences that I make are on a smaller scale, they are simpler, and some how mean more to me.
Before the accident I never really "needed" others in my life to the degree that I seem to after the accident, I found that most of the people I knew and counted as my friends disappeared, and others just did not know how to react to my new situation. It hurt, as change often does. This has made me so much more grateful for those who have stuck by me/us, as Jason's life has changed during this time as well.
It is funny as well that the new people I meet have the same issues with me as well, I find that they are more accepting of me initially, but then many have a hard time wanting to be around me as it is more difficult to be with someone who does not always feel well, who has a dog follow them around and who is not always able to be "ON".
But for the most part, the people who are coming into my life now accept me as I am and for that I am grateful as well. I know it is hard for people to adjust to change.
I have made better relationships with those around me, like my neighbors around where I live, I was always gone before, so never seemed to have time to spend, and now I am getting to know many of them so much better. In fact I am so thrilled with the relationship that a neighbor and I have developed, I am throwing her a bridal shower!
She so deserves it, she is a sort of recluse with out many close friends, her job and her personality add to that. She is so great, has such a great heart, and works so hard, I feel great to do something nice for her. So I've been researching all of the best things to do for a Bridal Shower. I've come up with a fun Chocolate Chip Angel Food Cake Recipe and some frosting everyone says is amazing! I am so excited to share this with her. To make it even better, another neighbor ASKED if she could help me! I am so excited about that too! I have never had anyone ask me if they could HELP me do something! I love it!
I think prior to my accident I was so capable that no one ever thought I needed help, and really most of the time I really did not feel as if I did need it. I put on events all over the world, and was very capable, I decorated an entire museum for Christmas sometimes with Jason or another friend's help but mostly and usually by myself for the many years I did it.
Asking for help is hard, but accepting it can be just as hard, but now, I fight my past and just say yes if others offer. I might even ask for it too. I am working on that.
I am blessed for those around me for those who've stuck by me, and for those that continue to want to do things with me! Blessed grateful for my friends is how I am everyday!
THANKS TO EACH OF YOU! You know who you are!