Thursday, December 4, 2008


Going from having a really bad week physically with way less stress and lots more fun to feeling better physically and having more stress... HMMM.... I think I prefer the second. Thanksgiving day for me was spent in bed. We had gone to spend a few days with friends over the holiday. Jason was picking up an extra job at the same time. The evening we arrived I was able to help get the feast started, by setting the table, and helping to make the stuffing and other items for the following day. My friend and I had a great time talking as well, it is great she can talk about her life to me and listen to me about mine. She is a great friend! I hope I am to her as well.

Waking up the following morning proved to be a challenge. During the night Luka had stuck his nose in my face two seperate times. Geesh.. I wondered could he really have to go to the bathroom that bad??? I certainly wasn't getting up for that, I told him to go to bed, and he did, but would try again later to wake me up. I asked him if he wanted to go outside... he didn't do his crazy waggle so that isn't what he wanted. I dozed off again, realizing that I felt terrible, but my meds were to far away to grab ( I'd been tired from the trip and from talking to my friend and Jason was already asleep so I didn't want to disturb him by waking him up digging through my bags ).. so I hadn't preped my meds. MISTAKE!!! BIG MISTAKE! The next morning when Jason got up, I could hardly move, my body HURT EVERYWHERE and my head was so hard to lift up. The accident over four years ago has reaked havac on my life ever sence! I just LOVE taking all this medication.... NOT!

Jason took Luka out who by this time did want to go outside, and he also dug out my medication and I proceeded to take the pain medication along with the migraine pills. Back to bed I went. I woke up in time to toss some makeup while feeling better but not great for the Late Thanksgiving Lunch. I ate with my friends husband, parents, grandparent, sister and co-worker, durring the desert course, I my pain started to increase again, Jason and Luka helped me back downstairs, where I took more meds and slept until the late supper of left overs. I woke up in time to get in on the tail end of left overs, I ate a little and guess what,,, I had to be helped back to my room again, MORE SLEEP.. Lovely, this is just the way everyone wants to spend their holiday's... GRRRR.

Am I mad YES! I am MAD! What can I do? I do everything I can think of to make this all be better, and nothing much seems to help. Well things help but not to the point I could actually get a semblance of my old life back. I know you can never go back you just have to focus on the future, do what you can do today! I do that, but don't ever think for a minute that I am happy about all of the pain, the limits I am confined to, and the medications! I HATE THEM!

I used to be able to impact so many other people, and now I sometimes feel as if I am making very little difference at all.

The following day after Thanksgiving was spent sleeping as well with more medication. Luka had woken me up in the middle of the night too by standing on the bed nosing me... I finally got it! He was waking me up trying to tell me I was getting sick! TAKE THE MEDS! WOO HOO! I did! I by now had them lined up and ready to go! I had already started to feel icky and so this was great! Maybe I could get a handle on this pain.

The day turned out alright, I was able to help decorate my friends home. I didn't do anything exciting to help, but I did sit on the couch and open all of the ornament boxes! I was happy I at least wasn't having to stay in bed and sleep! She and her daughter decorated the huge tree! It was great to be apart of something!

I got some sewing in too, I took more meds and by evening two days after Thanksgiving the major pain finally subsided. Phew!

My PinkDoberman Luka worked for me! I am so happy! I know he may not catch each time my pain will increase, but I am so grateful for when he will! Maybe I will be able to feel better more often, if I can catch my pain sooner.

For those of you who don't know about pain issues ( this was me before my nasty car accident ) if you don't get your medications taken soon enough and the pain grows faster than the meds can kick in you can't get it under control. No matter how much scarry medication you shove down your throat or in your IV. I really hate it, and it is really scarry for me because before the car accident I was taking absolutely no medications, we had even started talking about having kids.

I know those of you who know me know that having kids really were not on my radar or Jason's, but we were finally getting to a point in our lives where it was at least an option for us. Now we are not ever going to have them not of our own of course.

We do have Natalie here with us now, and that is great! Not at all expected, but we have known her since she was 5 or 6 and now she is 17 and her home life had gone to hell. So we are happy to have her but so sad to watch the events unfold which landed her in our laps. At least I can help her. I am happy for that.

I've got so much more to say but the food at Thanksgiving was really great! My favorite was a cornbread stuffing (I helped make it the day before). Spending the day with Jason and friends even if I was only up for a little bit was nice... I got to lay in bed and listen to everyone having fun, and that was comforting to me. I am sure thankful for my husband, friends and family! A special thanks to my sister K! Who I will talk about later!

Blessings to all!

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