As I sit here and begin to write, my thoughts wonder to the events over the past almost month it feels since I last wrote. While I am definately not as angry as was at people's stupidity, other things have been frustrating. Which causes me much hesitation when I consider writing more of my feelings down in this blog.
Needing to deal with things in an appropriate matter, sometimes time is able to help give perspective and the ability to add calming sense to certain situations. These past few weeks calming influences seem to have been the key for everyone in my household. We have had to search and search to remain calm at times.
I know that so many people have things so much worse. I realize too that we have been through much worse, although what makes difficulties easier to get through is the hope that the next situation will be an improvement. Sometimes we find the next thing to be just as challenging if not more, and we again hope for something better. The hotter the fire the stronger the steel. I don't know who said that but I think that it definately applies to my relationship with Jason.
We sure seem to have gone through allot of fire but each time we go through a challenge we seem to come out stronger. I am so grateful for that.
In my last post I had mentioned Jason's difficulty with Luka in public situations. I wrote about how I percieved his feelings to be on that subject. I am so glad I did, we were able to have a great conversation on the subject and things actually worked out better for it. Of course all of the things I am writing about are my feelings and my perspective. It doesn't always or even often match others perspectives and feelings on the same or even similar subjects. I am alright with that. I am also open to listening in most cases especially after I have had some time to become calm about a particular situation. I love different opinions and perspectives, while I sometimes will never agree, I appriciate others and still find value in difference.
It seems lately that Dr's visits are at the top of the adjenda lately. These visits can sure drain the day's time away. Our teenager has appointments for her teeth as well as Dr visits, and college visits, as well as she needs some therapy visits in the near future as well. Jason has started the some of his own, and mine a lovely 4-5 appointments each week are just enough to make a person MAD! We catch ourselves comming and going. How is their time for everything.
Tomorrow's day includes a dental appointment for me, then a college visit for her, then school for her, then post office for me to mail things, and time for my therapy excersizes, then off to the dentist for her, while Jason scoots off to a teaching job that evening. Gikes! I know that everyone else has this crazyness in their lives as well. Should life really be like this? I wonder.
I've started a project that I am happy to be working on. Having worked in my past at a children's camp, I now volunteer occasionally for this camp, I have volunteered for them for years now with various projects, most of which are very fun, some are moderately fun, and some just need to be done. The latest project that I have picked up is enjoyable for sure. It is really allot of busy work and research. I am having a good time with it, going through the details slowly and compiling all of the needed information. It is something I've found that I am quite good at, and that I really enjoy doing. It makes it even better that I can do this all from my home in my bed when I feel good or when I feel kinda bad.
I love having something else to focus on, that keeps my mind off of everything else that I have no control over. The fact that this information will fill a need and be helpful for others really makes me feel well also. A sense of accomplishment, is just wonderful. Just like making a really nice meal and watching those eating it enjoy it, or dropping a note to someone going through a rough time to let them know that they are in my thoughts.
I am reminded constantly that my life is good. I am reminded for all of the good things in my life, and there are many that there are those who don't have nearly as many good things in theirs. I have several friends who have always had difficult physical situations, some who are just receintly as I have been receintly having difficult physical situations, and those who are going through emotional, and financial difficulties currently or who have in the past. Usually these things seem to go hand in hand if you have one you will most certainly have two or three of them all at one time. Managing just one of them can be a full time job, while handling all three it sometimes feels as if you were never going to survive it.
Hearing from a friend today reminded me that while we are so involved in things that are going on in our own lives, that there are those around us, near or distantly, who are suffering, wondering how they will ever be able to make it through another moment. We've been there. I heard those thoughts today from a friend in an email that I received. He is going through a much more difficult time than we've gone through, his road will be harder, and longet, there are small children involved, as well as a very injured wife. He sounded as if he just needed someone to care, some one to notice, someone to talk to. Nothing really more than that, not asking for any of his responsiblities to be taken away or lessened, however I am sure that would be accepted. But just asking for someone to understand, someone to care. Reaching out for something to hold on to hope for one more day. It isn't a good place to be in.
The better place to be in is the person who takes the time to say Hey, I hear you, I see you, I am praying for you. If you are a person who doesn't have much time, but has resourses, then a certificate for pizza or a casserole, or a monitary gift would be handy for this person. If you have time but no resourses, then the offer of a shoulder to cry on, an afternoon of visiting or helping so someone else can have some time away from helping, or watching kids is a great way to share.
We've been so lucky to be beneficairies of some of these same gifts. Believe it or not they all equal the same. It doesn't matter how much time, or money or how big the gift or how small, they all equal the same. They all say the same thing. They all give the receiver the same message, that some one is here for them, someone noticed, someone cares.
I am glad that I took the time to write to this person, I will be writing again soon as well. It feels great for me to be able to do that. For me to think of someone else. I love doing that. It makes me feel so good.
Being that it is almost 1am I really need to get to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow and I am determined to pack as much in as I can. Maybe I will even be able to drive agian soon. I am holding out hope.
So for now goodnight.