Each day I find so many things to be thankful for! I've got great friends! I love having friends, I am always trying to make new ones as well! They keep my life interesting. While I am not the best friend myself, I know. I am grateful for the amazing friends that I have.
The weather is so much better for me in the summer than anyother time of the year! I am so so thankful that summer is here! I would really like to live where it is summer for the whole year! Green is wonderful, hot, humid, whatever it brings, my body adjusts to everything so much better, I am so thankful that there is this season for me!
I am thankful for a husband who while he feels completely helpless to help me feel better, would rearrange our bedroom for me. I had been talking to him lately about things that are going on with my body... the possible surgery for my neck that may help for a while, but from what I've researched online if the surgeon agreed that I was a good candidate, and I got the surgery, I may with my hypermobility be in line for the same pain shortly down the road, just from other areas of my cervical spine... my tummy that's been feeling funny, my medication intake and how I could find something different that didn't contain Acetaminophen... Since that has been on the news really reciently.. I've been taking FAR FAR FAR to much between Excedrine and Darvocet! .. Gosh, it really freaks me out, my tummy's been bugging me for a while now, but I don't know who to talk to about it... My pain Dr.. doesn't really focus on that, my PA, well, I guess that's where I will go, she's awesome!
However, I always seem to see her and shock her with what my body is doing. The last time I saw her she pulled down on my hand because I thought I had pulled a muscle, infact when she pulled down on my hand, my entire lower part of my arm, dropped as she pulled.. I had broken my arm completely in two.. and I'd been using it for at least 2 weeks... geesh.... Yeah, not really lookin forward to going back there after that... The look on her face... wow she was freaked!
Oh, well.. I guess I will be calling to get an appointment.. ok so I just did that! Next week I will go... grrrr.... I hate going to the Dr... No offense to my medical professional friends who are reading this! Seriously, as I am thankful for each of you and what you all do as well.
Ok and I made an appointment with my pain doc as well... in addition to changing my meds. Which I hope he can do. I wanted to talk with him about something called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. A friend of mine who's been paying attention to what's been going on with me, has been doing some research. She found this, through a friend. Asked me to look it up online, it has caused me to wonder about this as well. Not that it would change anything for me. I am already doing most of the things recomended... but it may help others that I know, so I thought it better for me to ask about it.
So back to my awesome hubby, who when I was talking about my "issues/concerns" seemed to zone out and mentally retreat from my words. These things, and talking about these things between he and I seem to just make him feel horribly helpless. And for a guy who is a "fixer" helpless is not a good thing. I need to talk about them with him I feel so he know's what's going on, I certainly don't expect him to "FIX" anything.
I pray that God will fix everything! As there are so many parts on my body that have issues, that I think only God could. But I focus on the saying,,, pray like it is all up to God, and work like it is all up to me! And that is all I can do.
Jason does it all anyway, he drives me where ever I need to go, and he does what ever I can't do that needs done, most of the time he is even cheery about it. That is a big improvement. Our bedroom looks great! I love it! I needed a change! I have always felt the need to have things rearanged in my living environment.
Acutally even when choosing what I would focus on in college the main consideration for me was what could I do that wouldn't require me to do the same thing day after day and year after year? I guess you could say I like the creative aspect of life.
He came in last night I had been on the computer all afternoon, I really haven't had much energy lately, I believe that is due to the fact I haven't been able to sleep much, waking up at 3 or 4 am.... no naps or anything and going to bed around 11pm.. I am an eight hour a night girl... so... last night was the first night I could think of where I wasn't laying there starring off into space, rolling this way or that trying to get comfortable, or finally just giving up and doing something in order to fall back to sleep.
He came in and said, So you want to rearrange the room? In his big gruff voice. I wondered, what did I do to cause this.. Well, what I have already mentioned was the reason, I found out later. With Jason when he's willing and ready to do something that I want done, I adjust! I am not in a possition to be picky or demanding. I have no other choices. I can't move the things in our room safely.
He did great! He did it the way I had in mind! There is usually a why do you want to put that there, or another complaint about my interesting arangement ideas.. But I figured out later as well that this was his gift to me. Do do our room the way I wanted. I really do like it, he has yet to comment... but he also know's it wont' be this way for ever.. so if he doesn't like it, he also knows he has the muscles to change it.. Hee Hee...
So, while I really do work hard to not mention all of the things that are bugging me with my health, my lack of a career, etc... As I know that this unhappiness with my life bothers him because there is nothing he feels he can do to make it better. I think it is good for me as well to focus on what I can do instead of what I can't! So that's where I try to keep my mind.
Speaking of that, more and more people have been asking me about my cleansing and nutrition program. So that's been fun! I am also going to start something here at my house as well. I got the idea from my sister, who has friends who do the same thing. I am going to use their idea and see if I can actually earn some money! Gosh that would help, as I'd really like to pay for the air conditioning system that Jason needs in his Jeep. We are scared to find out the actual cost.
So, I am constantly looking online now. As it is one of the things I can do to keep my brain busy when my body is hurting. Takes my mind off of the pain and I am learning or doing something at the same time. I would be working on an alumni project right now if my neck weren't acting up. In order to work on that I have to sit up better, and compare paper to computer and write stuff like that. And that stuff at the moment will only make me feel worse.
One thing that I just found right now I am excited about is:: http://health.msn.com/health-topics/pain-management/rheumatoid-arthritis/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100096523>1=31004 Sorry, I haven't taken the time to learn how to make the link pretty.
I am on the look out for things that I can do to feel better! ALWAYS! I am even going to start meditating. As recomended by Rosie, a lady I met at THE CLAY POT an Indian Fusion Resturaunt in Iowa City, Iowa! Their food is awesome! You've just got to go!
Accupuncture was one of those things that made me feel better. But I was strongly discouraged by the other guy's insurance representative to not follow that course of treatment. GRRR. And since I can't afford it anyway, I have just blocked that from my mind. But for the time while I was doing it I was getting some relief. I had even been getting accupuncutre before the accident. It stabled out my monthly friend, and gave me a better since of wellness and well being. I had been one of the people practiced on in my state before it was actually alowed to be charged for as a practice. I liked it then, and I really am wishing I could still go. But my own health insurance won't cover it, and there isn't an acupuncturist that I've found who wants to wait for a settlement, especially now since it has been almost 5 years in coming, and is still not even close to being settled. Yet another wonderful frustration.
Gosh, that is not a conversation we have at our house either... We just focus on the positive stuff or the things that we actually have control over. I don't know, I feel as if I have once again been rambling about nothing. I think the pain is worse, and I need to figure out what I need to do... I don't know if I can make it with out taking some meds.... I was sure hoping to sit here propped up in my bed by pillows and relax enough to have that happen. Not wanting to acutally go to sleep since my sleep patterns are seriously disturbed lately.. I've got to figure out another relaxing distraction.
I am thankful for this blog, a place to write and vent, as well as form some sort of informational area for friends to figure out what's going on with me... gosh, not that I expect anyone to read my lengthy posts... How can one person write so much about such a mundane life...??
Tchau for now! Beijo's!