Monday, October 4, 2010

i KnOw WhAt i WaNt tO Be wHeN i gRoW uP!!!

So tonight as I was getting ready for bed I had a realization.  Something that has been bothering me since I’ve lost things in my life one by one.  Before the accident I knew, I was focused driven and passionate about my career choice. 

I am sure that what I am going through is normal.  Anyone that has gone through loss goes through this to some degree.  What am I going to do now.. Life is not like it was, now what…  What are my options..  I have written about this very subject more than I would have liked to.  I feel like I have thought about it infinitely more than I would like to have spent time on. 

I am transitioning.  I am getting clarity.  I am creating a new vision for myself about my purpose and what I will do to impact the lives of others. 

Often I have spent my time looking out my windows, or at my walls or at the closet in my room that has no doors.  (BTW I love my closet with no doors.)  I found myself being inspired by the things around me.  Paintings by some very important people in our lives grace our walls, and the birds, well, I’ve shared quite a lot about them here as well. 

These are some of the things that over the past 6 years have helped keep my mind in a positive place. 


Art, Nature, Life these things bring joy to me.  If they bring joy to me they will bring joy to others as well. 

What am I going to be when I grow up??? 

Well this much I know.  I am going to be an Artist.

What kind?  I am not sure.  Right now I am going to be a mixed medium artist.  Focusing on photography, watercolor painting, makeup artist, positive thinking artist, conceptual artist, writing artist….

I do however know that I absolutely want no part of being a con artist.  That would take up way to much energy!  =D

I know I should have more focus than this, but I don’t.  I am going to just see where this road leads me.  I may end up being a starving artist, I do know that art is something I am good at doing.  It is a God given gift and I just need to develop it I can still do lots of things in this category, maybe not all at once maybe not all at the same time, maybe not every day, but I can do something.  I can keep my mind and hopefully my fingers busy creating. 

My goals?

1.  Do something that gives me passion.. ( to concur the world. )

2.  Do something so well that it gives joy, meaning, and impact to others in a positive and meaningful way. 

3.  Do something that can pay for itself.

4.  Do something that others want to support and be a part of helping grow.

5.  ( My former self speaking)  Expanding my career choice into and actual sustaining career that I could support myself and Jason on in a not so starving artist kind of way! 


I love the feeling of concurring the world.  Just thought I’d throw that in there.   It is a glorious feeling that I so enjoy, and have experienced many times over in my life.  The feeling of doing my best at something, and it is making an impact that can be actually palpable.  I love that feeling. 

I want to create that with my art.  Now if only I could find some generous benefactors who need some art!!  =)! 


So join me as I travel my path into the great unknown.  I am going to be creating things.  I hope I am able to create more than a mess!


Pink Doberman

1 comment:

rlee8235 said...


I found your blog through the blog carnival. I understand because I had a car accident in 2008 and since then nothing has been the same. I have post traumatic Fibromyalgia and who knows what else. All I know is that I'm still struggling to find myself since I can't do much else!! Blogging has helped but I still need to find myself.

Thanks for your words and I look forward to following your blog.

Seeking Equilibrium