Friday, September 17, 2010

SiLvEr LiNiNgS…

So what silver linings have you found in or despite your chronic illness? Share your experiences with me and other blog readers in the upcoming edition of the Patients For A Moment blog carnival. 

Maybe it's a person or people, or your chronic illness's effect on your ability to work full-time inspired you to create your dream job working from home. Maybe, like me, you appreciate extra time to read books and magazines, or like my daughter Ellie, you're grateful for magical things.  Maybe there's something totally unrelated to your health issues that is the biggest blessing you feel grateful for. Or maybe you're a medical professional who's grateful for a certain type of patient. Whatever it is, please share it with all of us!   Written by Sick Momma

Here is the post I have written for this subject.  I don’t know if it will chosen or not but I thought I’d go ahead and share my thoughts. 


My thoughts on Silver Linings…

So I’ve become and expert at restarting.  I’ve had to adjust to lots of different changes/choices/chances over my life.  Some good and some bad.  I do enjoy change, but change that requires redefining who you are is hard.  Change that makes you question everything, change that breaks you down to your core that is even more difficult.  That kind of change has happened to me twice now, and I’d like that kind of change to stop! 

My core is developing cracks.  I just hope the plaster holds long enough to get me through this life. 

I do feel as if I am all patched together.  A big collage of all of the different parts of my life that I’ve managed to keep stuck together.  I’ve had to let some parts of my life fall so I could hang on to more important parts for dear life.  Some of the parts that have fallen are, my business in Brazil.  But I’ve hung on to my family in Brazil.  I’ve lost grasp of my U.S. business as well.  But managed to keep the best of the friends I’d made.  Other things like driving have fallen, and been replaced with a stillness that I have learned to cope with.  Freedom to do as I please when I please has fallen as well.  There is however freedom gained from the internet, my broadening of concepts and conceptualizations of what life has to be like in order to be happy.  Being independent has gone to complete dependence on my husband Jason and Service Dog Luka and various friends who’ve chosen to stick with us through these changes. 

The redefining of ones life is a difficult process, an arduous process, not something to be taken lightly and not something to be feared.  It should be faced head on with all of the available facts, acceptance is the only thing that helps you get through it.  Fighting the realities is something that will continue to sabotage your process to become the best you you can be.  Realities have a way of changing or at least have hope of changing after they are accepted.  Knowing what you are facing, and dealing with it squarely gives you power.  Even if the only thing that is possible to change is your attitude, do not discount what options are available to you.  Attitude is EVERYTHING. 

Do I or have I always had a good attitude.  Absolutely not.  I wish!  I pray that that may be the case.  I try very hard to keep my ‘TUDE in check.  Sometimes arrogance, or pride can get in the way of me having a good day.  Sometimes pain can.  Sometimes am having the worst days and can have the best days in my mind. 

In my life before the accident, I would say that Attitude had 70% to do with where I had gone and what I had done.  In my life after the accident I’d say that it has had 99% to do with where I am and what I have done.  Keeping my head screwed on straight finding positive things to interest my mind and to focus on has been a moment to moment challenge.  As I have a mind that runs a million miles a second.  I am continually pushing myself to grow in some new direction by learning more about who I am and what surrounds me.

The birds outside my window provide constant amusement and entertainment, as well as a visual feast that I enjoy capturing with Jason’s camera.  Life is what you make of it.  I’ve always wanted to live a great life! 


Who defines great? 

I do. 




Pink Doberman


NOTE:  If you have Silver Linings in your life, no matter what kind of life you may be living (you don’t have to have a disability to have to work at making your life the best it can be for yourself everyone has issues, everyone struggles with different things), feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section of this post.  I do realize that most of you that follow my blog are not comment leavers.  Which is just fine with me too! 

1 comment:

Pink Doberman said...

Ok so in reading back through this what I wrote was rather deep.. On a lighter note. Closed doors do not mean closed windows. I am hopeful that windows are opening for my life. I've been having fun periodically taking pictures, my new to me scooter is a joy, and my glasses although I can rarely keep them clean, are causing some changes.

I like the silver linings.
Gentle Hugs,