Do YoU LoVe YoUr iMAgE??

I have recently mentioned that I am planning to be an artist.  I am still fiddling with what type of artist I will be.  Right now my main focus is on photography with a secondary focus on water color painting. 

In the process of exploring the photography option, I want to take pictures of people.  All sorts of people.  People from differing backgrounds, people with different unique features.  People who transcend the bodies that carry their souls around.  I want to capture their soul in pictures.  I want the light of their life to shine brightly.

One barrier to this can be a person’s level of comfort with their own body.  I am not talking about taking nude pictures.  I am just speaking about the generalities of people loving their body as it is.  For loving themselves for who they are.  I want to help them see how truly beautiful they are even if they don’t fit the stereotype for beauty.  Especially if they don’t fit in the box.  I love capturing out of the box people. 

So I had written this article a while ago.  I have been hanging on to it, wondering if I should share these words with my prospective models.  I thought I’d post it here to see if anyone thought it would be offensive, or if something strikes a nerve.  Which is not what I am going for.

 

Soul Filled Captures

I want to take this opportunity to share some very personal things about myself with you, in hopes that you will love yourself even more than you already do.  I have insecurities just like you. I don’t like my raccoon eyes, or my skin that has acne scars on it… It never fails a pimple or two will show up for anything I do in my life that is important. Why am I sharing this? Everyone does not like something about themselves. Most of us are less than thrilled about sharing what those things are with others. I don’t run around sharing that my rear end is flatter than I’d like it to be. Or that I have flabby arms. =D.

I just want you to know that your secrets are safe. I promise not to publish the list of things that you dislike of yourself. Now I do realize that I am a small person, and many people would “kill” for my body. It however is what I look at each day and then the human nature inside of me starts comparing my arms to Michelle Obama’s arms, and my rear end to J Lo, you get the picture...

I do things to conceal, enhance, or cover different parts of my body. I am not immune. Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous thing. I want you to know that you are perfect just as you are we are told this from a very young age.  Truly this is so, I am also perfect just as I am. Acceptance is what will makes me happy. Fixing what you think is currently wrong with what you look like is really only 10% of the problem. After you got everything on your list fixed, you’d soon have another list started.  Your attitude about yourself makes up the the other 90%.

All of this being said, let us know what you dislike about your body, please also let me know what you LOVE about your body as well. What are your favorite features? What types of shots are your favorites?

We would love to focus on your favorites while capturing your image. It is my goal to ask you to pose in ways that draws the least attention to your dislikes and show off your LOVES.  We will also work to “fix” your image in processing. Will we make you look like a different person? NO. Will we do what we can to make the things on your dislike list less noticeable? We will also work to make the things you LOVE more noticeable.

Oddly enough, the list of dislikes was much shorter when I had a size 16 body. Weird, I know. Insecurities never disappear, if someone share that they think they look perfect this does not mean they wouldn’t like to change things about themselves if they could.  Why not think that you look perfect?  What harm is this going to cause you?  I think my body is perfect. I actually LOVED my body the most when I was the largest. I remember standing in front of the mirror in my birthday suit; I had been picking myself apart. I stood there and realized what I was doing to myself. I changed my thinking. Who wants to go through life never being happy with yourself?

Choosing to love your body, choosing to love who you are and what you look like is a freeing decision. Before your photo shoot I encourage you to stand in front of the mirror and have that conversation with yourself. When it comes time for you to view your images that we have taken of you do it again.  In fact do it often!  Fall in love with yourself. Doing this does not prevent you from hiding, fixing, or disguising. What it will do is free you from the chains of self loathing, and give you more energy to focus on being the best you that you can be!

If you’ve got it flaunt it baby! There is nothing more flattering, sexy, or captivating than letting your soul shine. So make your list, check it twice, and send your insecurities out the window. Some one out there is jealous of the things you are most insecure about in yourself.

I would also like you to check out a couple of blogs that I follow. Why do I follow their blogs? Because I think they are some of the most beautiful people in the world. Their souls transcend infinity.

http://davehings/burger.blogspot.com/ Dave is a plus sized man who is in love with a man and gets around via wheelchair. Dave has insight, foresight, acknowledges hindsight, and observes the most educating experiences. He has an innate ability to transcend the raging ignorance of those who live with a disability he writes soul filled words.  Dave is wisdom filled.

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/ Stephanie and her husband Mr. Nielson both survived a plane crash they both have burn scars all over their bodies. Their journey is not only one of disfigurement, but of immense physical pain. They lead the most glory filled life with their children. They are strength filled.

http://www.katherinewolf.info/ Katherine is a model who had a very serious stroke after giving birth to her child. She now is rebuilding her life and her body along with her husband and son. She is faith filled.

http://carlyfindlay.blogspot.com/ Carla defies belief. She advocates for acceptance, she exemplifies how to love your self. She stylishly presents herself, emotionally steadies herself, and shares a message of hope. She is power filled.

These people know what it is like to bring your self to the table. When you think of your faults, add these people to your list of comparables. You are strong and you are exceptionally beautiful! Love yourself!

Here is to capturing your soul!

Let it shine!

 

I appreciate your opinions,

Pink Doberman 

KeTcH uP

So posting has been on my mind, but things have been a little jumbled up in my head making it difficult to write.  So this post is Ketch Up!  Ha Ha!

Weather… well it is acting up again and so are my joints!  So frustrating.  I kept laying there trying to sleep.  But I have given up that for more meds.  I decided to type to get my mind off of the growing pain in my neck.  It seems to be very pissed off. 

I am happier as of late with my physical therapy choices.  With my latest diagnoses things seem to be lining up.  I have a cranial sacral physical therapist, and an expert at water therapy physical therapist.  Both of them are doing things to work with my new glasses.  I am relearning to walk in therapy.  I have been walking wrong, when I walk I tend to walk with my right arm swinging to my right leg, left arm with left leg.  I do other goofy things as well.  But we are working on them.

That being said, I have my second set of lenses now.  I guess after another 4 or so days I may get used to them.  My eyes are rebelling at this point by getting sore and causing migraines.  My latest PT figured this out.  I guess I am finally standing correctly, all of my joints are lining up properly with the glasses and the stress my body had been going through is much less.  I can move more freely with out getting caught up. 

That being said, my shoulder and hip joints are driving me nuts… but that isn’t related to the TBI.  Maybe one day I will be simple. 

Luka is doing well, he was under the weather earlier this week so he had to stay home a few days.  He seems to be doing better now.  I’ve not taken him for a run in a while.  With the wind yesterday I just couldn’t muster it.  Today.. in a few hours we will hopefully have had some sleep by then, we are heading out.  So at least we will be getting out of the house.  I am excited! 

Hey, if you live in the United States of America remember to get your absentee ballots asked for so you can vote.  That is my favorite way to vote.  I can do it at home, study the issues, look up the people, and I can take my time reading it so I make sure to mark the right boxes for the issues I am for or against. 

The wind has been so wicked.  Watching the footage of all of the tornado damages and disasters, makes me remember my days when I volunteered to help with disasters.  I miss doing physical active things like that.  But though my own way I am also volunteering to help others in different, less active ways.  I think that is one of the things that keeps me going.  Finding something I can do for others.  Even if it is small, and even if it goes unnoticed.  I will know that I did it. 

I’ve got some projects I need to get finished.  I hope the people waiting for them are patient.  My to do list seems to never get shorter.  It takes me a while to do it all, all though it seems to me like I am doing it fast.  Well I am doing it fast as possible but when you look at the time it has taken forever.  But hey, I am doing things, and marking them off my lists that is really all that matters. 

What do you think people who have disabilities do?  I don’t know what others do, but I try to watch as little TV as possible during the day.  I really try to treat myself like I have a job.  I do watch TV sometimes.  Sometimes, that is all that I’ve been able to manage, other times, listening to the TV is all I have been able to manage.  I used to read tons and piles of books.  But that went out the window with the accident as well. 

I am not sure but reading online is much easier.  I have downloaded some books online, but I have yet to try reading them.  They seem a little over whelming.  I have started listening to online radio stations.  Specifically Pet Life Radio.  I am looking for others to listen to as well.  I have found some radio stations online as well.  I would like to know about stations that read books online, or have interesting discussions.. interesting to me does not mean yelling or those kind of interesting shows.  But where you are being educated about something. 

I would also like to find a Brazilian station, a Latin station, a classical station.. so if you know of any I can find online please drop me a note in the comments section or drop me an email.  I’ve been getting some of those lately and I am loving it.  My email address is in the About Tonja tab at the top of this page. 

I like to keep learning about interesting things, the TV has PBS, thank goodness.  I have a couple movies sitting here from Netflix to watch but I don’t do that much either lately.  I go in spurts.  My worst days, my tired days, when I have over done, or need a mental vacation from stressfilled thinking.. I turn the tube on.  That way it is a kind of “treat” for me while I am miserable. 

I am thinking that the next round of pills is beginning to take effect. I hope they hurry.  I’ve taken all I can take for the moment.  I have a big day tomorrow and I would like to be able to accomplish it. 

I did order my first item off of Etsy.com.  I am getting a custom made pair of gloves!  Here is the link to the gal who is making them for me.  DebzCreations  I just know they are going to be fantastic.  Check these special things out, they are just what I am looking for.  I need some free finger tips on my gloves that are free.  But I also freeze, so I needed a cover to make them like a mitten.  The great thing about these gloves is that they also have a thumb cover as well!  I am so excited.

Listen to the best part.  This gal has disabilities.  So I am supporting someone who can’t easily do things.  I think that makes them even more special.  She and I have the same size hands and everything, so I know they are going to be perfect!  I usually buy the $.99 that stretch.  I like those gloves still, but they are not very warm. 

I have asked her to use discretion on the yarn.  I find many yarns highly itchy!  So she is choosing her warmest and least itchy yarn for me.  I also need a non bulky pair of gloves, so she is also taking that into consideration as well.  I even get to choose the buttons!  How cool is that? 

I did choose the color.  Basic Black for now.  I would also like a colored pair.  She even makes these gloves for kids! 

There are also a couple of new Blog Carnivals going on right now.  You may enjoy checking them out. 

The topic for this carnival is:  Assistance Dog Firsts.. There are some really heart warming posts.  A Service/Assistance Dog Carnival has just been started!  Check this new carnival out!  The topic is: Advice for medical professionals/students 

Another Blog Carnival is going on right now as well, I’ve contributed to this one in the past, but didn’t contribute to this subject, but many others did!  Topic:  What advice would you give to medical students or those just starting their career in the medical field? What kind of knowledge do you feel doctors only learn through years of patient interaction that is not currently taught in med school (but you wish they already came programmed knowing)?  Check it out!

Also in our local news was this really wonderful story about an Assistance/Service Dog Team.  Meet Tinkerbell and Rebekah.

Well the meds are starting to work I think.  Luka’s gassy tummy is currently peeling the paint off our walls, and I am really hoping that I can catch a few hours of rest. 

Oh… say some prayers for my friend Ron who is getting a tracheotomy on Friday.  We went to high school together and he’s really going through a rough time. 

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

StAtE CaPiToL~ sErViCe/AsSiStAnCe DoGs.. & My DaY

So the trip to the capitol went well today.  Well yesterday as I write this after midnight.  My body is finally rested up enough for me to think.  Jason took my scooter in so I could use it instead of walking everywhere.  This turned out to be a stellar idea as far as things go for me.  Jason on the other hand got a work out!  He hooked up the trailer, dismantled the scooter, loaded the scooter, drove me to the capitol, found a place where he could park long enough to drop the scooter Luka and I off.. parked, assembled the scooter, then Luka and I met up with our new friends Dan and Jackson (SD) and started our roll towards the capitol. 

Jason then drove around for the next 20 or so minutes looking for a spot to park his vehicle and the trailer we pull to keep the scooter in.  He found a spot about 5 or 6 block lengths away…  He parked, walked back to the capitol, met me in the lunch room of the capitol.. we ate, and then we attended our meeting.

The meeting… it went very well.  I was thrilled that Jason agreed to sit in on it.  I wouldn’t have been upset if he hadn’t, but I do love when he takes an interest in these things, even though he hates meetings, hates sitting and waiting and would have rather been doing almost anything else!  He’s such a great husband!  He got left over Pudgyville Pizza when we returned home for his efforts!  I warmed it up for him and everything.  =)

We had less of a turn out than we did for the Proclamation signing event.  But good none the less.  We had issues discussed from a variety of stand points and perspectives.  Folks from many agencies a couple training organizations were also present.  That was nice.

Of course Nebraska State Senator Kate Sullivan and her fabulous assistant Mikki were in attendance.  My friend Morgan and her SD was able to attend along with Nike and her SD and Roxanne ( her SD has been attacked by a dog roaming at large and is recovering but now is having some fear issues.. ) along with my newest friend Dan and his SD.  A gal who’s name I didn’t catch was also in attendance as well as her SD in training and a young lady who was a daughter of one of the aforementioned persons.   

Rich S from the Great Plains ADA Center was there and Rich from the League of Human Dignity in Lincoln were present.  Rich S gave a great power point presentation, and Rich was handy to clarify and share his knowledge as well.  Michelle from Domesti-Pups shared good perspectives, as well as Michelle W. from KSDS Inc. she also shared her perspectives. 

I also met a man who works at the capitol who’s son has autism and has been looking into getting an Assistance/Service Dog for him as well.  He was able to sit in and listen as we learned and discussed.  All in all a great turn out. 

What is going to happen next?  Well, I think that depends upon the interest in the Assistance/Service Dog community.  It also depends on the political climate I am sure as well as the interest from the public. 

One of the key things discussed was the need for public education.  I think once people are educated most of the barriers disappear.  However doing the educating is an incredible task.  These days it happens one person at a time. 

The other thing is with the updates coming into effect in the Federal Laws regarding Service/Assistance Dogs in March 2011 it will make much of Nebraska’s current laws null.  It was discussed that we just adopt the Federal Laws as State Laws and then go from there in the future.  Does it make sense to change Nebraska’s Law to come into compliance with Federal Laws??? What is your take on this? 

Ok I really would like comments if you have a SD or are a person with a disability who might be reading this.  We’d love to have your input, even if you are not from Nebraska.  ( I know I don’t have a large blog following but I thought I’d ask just in case you are out there and willing to comment!)

There were other things discussed as well.  I will probably talk about some of those things later.  Eye opening discussions were had as far as I was concerned.  But all things in time I suppose. 

Luka did rather well on this outing with other SD’s.  I was proud of him.  He is rather vocal which I guess can be attributed to being a talking Doberman Pinscher.  Ha!  Just like having a three year old at your side. 

After the meeting I stopped by another office down the hall from our meeting room to see a high school and ballet classmate’s father who is now a Nebraska State Senator.  I ran into his aid who oddly enough also had a son I attended high school with.  We had a nice chat before we left.  It was good to see some folks I recognize from my childhood.  I later facebooked my friend about seeing her dad. 

Jason walked with me as I scooted and Luka drug my scooter along the sidewalks to our vehicle.  It was a bumpy ride but nice all the same.  The spot Jason had found to park, was by a street edged retaining wall about two feet tall.  I couldn’t get in to sit down since my side was next to the retaining wall, Luka and I had a nice sit, while we waited for Jason to disassemble the scooter, load it into the trailer, start the vehicle, pull away from the curb, get back out, come open my door, move the seat load Luka, move the seat, help me in.. and drive home in Friday’s after work traffic. 

Let’s just say that he was less than communicative on the way home.  Pizza did however brighten his evening, and we had a relaxing night.  I guess I should say I had a relaxing night.. He cleaned out the gutters and fiddled with antenna’s.. 

Luka has his Comfey Cone on and his Muttluks off!  He’s sacked out, Jason’s sacked out, and I am finally feeling like a person again after today’s events. 

Please also note that I don’t receive any discounts or payments for sharing these places with you!  I am just doing this as a courtesy because I love these things, I have found them to be beneficial, or I think they are worth noting.  Hope you enjoy my links.  They are for your information only!  And I like promoting things that I like! 

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

NeBrAsKA StAtE CaPiToL… StArTiNg tHe PrOcEsS oF ChAnGe..

A note.. my interview on Working Like Dogs at Pet Life Radio has been posted.  To listen click here….

 

Tomorrow.. the word reminds me of Shirley Temple.  The sun will come out Tomorrow!  Anyway, I am thinking about tomorrow tonight.  It is sure to be a day filled with thought.  I hope that those in the room thinking with me at the Nebraska State Capitol are looking forward to it as much as I am.  Jason will be taking me to Lincoln, along with Luka and my scooter!  I am opting to ride the scooter, as the last time I went and accepted the proclamation, I was so exhausted, I could hardly move around, I had no energy to go to visit with the others that attended and I just really couldn’t contribute.  Tomorrow I want to be able to contribute.  So thanks Jason for loading that beast up in the trailer and dragging it in and out for me! 

Don’t worry I haven’t given up walking, just when it hinders thinking! 

It isn’t often these days that I get asked my opinion about something important.  Something that will impact the lives of many others here and now and also in the future.  That is what tomorrow is all about.  Nebraska’s Assistance Dog Laws (Service Dog Laws) are a bit behind the times.  Federal Law trumps Nebraska Law but if Nebraska’s Laws kept up with Federal Laws, then those with disabilities would have protection via local law enforcement officials instead of having to resort to utilizing the services available through Federal means to gain justice or in most cases a meal, a bathroom to use when you need to use it…. etc. 

Since some less than favorable responses by some Nebraska Businesses I have now chosen to carry the laws with me everywhere we go.  I also carry with me a denial form that I ask the business to sign if they are denying us access.  I also have my camera phone with and am not afraid to use it. 

Read no further if you have issues discussing going to the bathroom and related subjects.. Warning… Stop now!

 

 

Still the fear of walking into some place new to us or with a new employee is rampant.  For example we had a three plus hour ride in the car today.  I needed to go to the restroom about 1/2 way through the trip.  I had asked Jason to take the highway instead of the interstate because it is so much prettier.  I love looking at all of the small towns as we drove by them.  At the same time, I forgot about the convenience of Nebraska Rest Stops, these offer no resistance to Luka and I and are well traveled by folks from everywhere.  While Luka and I may be the only pair like us there, no one ever bats an eye at us. 

However the fear of stopping someplace new and unfamiliar is all to real.  Today, I was pretty tired and I knew I couldn’t make the trip to the ladies room on my own.  Jason can only hold me up so far, and then I’d be on my own again as well. 

I do also have to say that the smaller towns that I have visited, I have never had a problem.  But when you are exhausted, have to go to the bathroom pretty bad and you don’t need the trouble of explaining and being questioned… that crossing your legs and hoping you don’t get a bladder infection pretty much sums up how my afternoon went. 

I do think that working to change Nebraska’s Laws will help me feel more comfortable walking with Luka into new places.  I am phobic to begin with and being questioned about my life, my assistance dog, my disabilities and my personal inadequacies is far to much to deal with most days. 

Don’t think however that if confronted about these things that I will lye down and accept this though.  Which is one reason I feel so fiercely about brining Nebraska’s Laws up to speed.  Even adding some enhancements as well to make this a better place. 

Just because some one feels like denying someone like me access does not mean it should be allowed.  Look at what can happen if people who have different abilities are ignored, or treated as less than.  Because they were Bored… and all they get was a slap on their hands??? No thank you!   I will not leave this place more dangerous for people who are different.  I will try my best to make it so that those who follow me are treated with respect, and have protections under the law.  The article I linked to in this paragraph makes me sick, angry and all together furious at the lack of respect that is tolerated against those who are different.  I don’t care how you are different than others, it is wrong to allow this sort of behavior. 

So that is why tomorrow, I am taking one small step to insure that those who come after me have a greater sense of personal safety, a greater sense of Assistance Dog safety, and can be out living their lives as productively as possible. 

We have power, we just need to harness, direct, and use it. 

 

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

WoRkiNg LiKe dOgS… LeGiSLaTiOn CoOpEraTiOn… AsSiStAnCe DoG TrAiNerS iN NeBrAsKa!!

 

 Luka and I won an award! 

 

Learn more about us and what we did when you listen to my radio interview:

       click.. Pet Life Radio’s  Working Like Dogs!

My radio interview is posted! 

Click the link above to listen to it! 

The Award??  It is a pretty darn cool one as well, something I am very proud of personally for as well as proud of the other organizations and folks involved.  I really do hope that you will take the 20 minutes to listen to the interview!  What you read below will make more sense if you do.

I am thrilled to share that the event that I planned around the Governorial Proclamation declaring August 8-14, 2010 Assistance Dog Week in Nebraska won the National Assistance Dog Contest for Best Event!!  Check it out!

Here is the proclamation!  That Governor Heineman signed.  Here MOST of us are in these pictures!!  Some were camera shy!   

We are all motivated to create change in Nebraska!  Here is the first attempt at it…  

Sadly the first attempt did not pass, but we are going for it again and even more comprehensively this year!  Thanks to Nebraska State Senator Kate Sullivan!  Contact her here!

 

So who was involved?? 

** NOAH'S Assistance Dogs - They provide a range of services, utilizing specially trained dogs to enhance quality of life. 

NOAH'S Assistance Dogs
402-794-4089
www.noahsdogs.org
noahsdogs@diodecom.net

** Domesti-PUPS provides service dogs for mobility impairments and seizure response dogs.

Can be contacted at 1-866-515-PUPS or info@domesti-pups.org.  http://domesti-pups.org/

Stephanie a local dog trainer who has yet to provide me with a website!  She helps owner trainers train their dogs.  For now message me her if you would like to reach her and I will send your message along to her if you are looking for her services.

Roxanne H. and Tay  an assistance dog team.  Roxanne is an advocate for those with disabilities.  I will be doing a separate post about what she does soon! 

Second Chance Pups provides trained shelter dogs for adoption to the public, but not service dogs.  Great if you don’t need an assistance dog but would like a great trained family pet!

 

Mikki McCann Aid to Nebraska State Senator Kate Sullivan whom you can contact through the link above. 

 

We also had some new friends involved Nike and her Assistance Dog Lilly and many other trainers with Assistance Dogs in training! 

We had a great turn out!  I am so appreciative!  I hope you take the time to listen to the 30 minute radio show at Working Like Dogs on Pet Life Radio! 

In addition, I was the recipient of a $200 gift certificate from Service Dog House!   I am now their new biggest fan!  I can’t wait to share with you what I am ordering! 

 

HAVE A DISABILITY??  Thinking about getting an Assistance Dog??  Here is a great book you you may want to check out.. the great book..

 

I would like to send a Big Thank You to Marcie advocate and Working Like Dogs Radio Host for being such a strong proponent in creating awareness for those of us who utilize the services of Assistance Dogs! 

National Assistance Dog Week was established due to the efforts of Marcie Davis, a paraplegic for over 35 years and CEO of Davis Innovations, a consulting firm based in Santa Fe, NM. Davis is the author of Working Like Dogs: The Service Dog Guidebook, and she is the host of the Internet radio program, Working Like Dogs, at www.petliferadio.com. As a member of a service dog team, she founded Working Like Dogs to honor assistance dogs around the world and is sponsoring National Assistance Dog Week.

For more information, contact Marcie Davis at 505-982-1977

I am so very honored to have received this award.  There were so many deserving groups that created awareness across our great country.  Please go to this link to see what they did as well! 

Before I go, I wanted to share one more link with you.  If you have an Assistance/Service Dog I would encourage you to do something next year to create awareness in your state.  If there is something going on, get involved!  Here is where you can start! 

Blessings from a grateful heart and four grateful paws,

Pink Doberman

WaRm pLeAsUrEs…

Some things just pile up these days.  Not for lack of trying to get things done, just so much to do, and much of it wears me out.  Lately some things seem to be wearing me out mentally as well as physically.  That mental stuff, Yeeew. 

Well, I’ve got a pile of it done.  There is more to do, but it can wait.  I’ve been working at some mind candy tasks to revive my spirits.  Do you do that?  I do really try to tackle the worst first, and follow it with the mind candy tasks. 

What do I consider mind candy?  Anything I am doing for myself, just because.  It involves doing something special for someone else that I enjoy doing or look forward to seeing the result of.  It could be as simple as creating myself a slice of pesto gluten free pizza.  Or creating a new texture to use when messing with pictures.  It could be rolling over and giving Luka a good rub, or making something with Sugu. 

Sometimes after something difficult and taxing to accomplish a nap is also in order.  Today I had planned on watching a football game, but the game wasn’t heading the right direction so I opted for other happier methods of distraction. 

After I rejuvenate, I can then tackle another task. 

On my list is now is laundry.  Jason will be happy if more of it isn’t waiting for him to do when he gets home.

 

I’ve been wearing my glasses full time this is day two.  Today was harder than yesterday, my mind is giving me fits and so are my eyes.  But hey, I guess this is to be expected.  I have to remind myself that keeping up with the Joneses is not my goal.  My goal is to just be the best me I can be. 

When I was at the eye Dr’s to get my stats checked, I also got my glasses adjusted.  They are no longer rubbing horribly on my left hear, and they don’t pinch my nose nearly as much.  I am so grateful.  It really is the little things in life that can make me elated!  …. Of course while we were there I tried on a pair of Pink Sunglasses!  They were adorable.  But at $89 they were also not coming home with me!  =)

 

Have I mentioned lately how much I love things that keep me warm?  I do.  I’ve been freezing lately. Which is no fun.  I would so rather be sweating than freezing. 

Some of my favorite things for fall and winter are..

cushy socks

electric blankets with dual controls ( Jason is not nearly as excited about heating the bed up as I am )

Mittens

Gloves

Fingerless Gloves

Scarves

Thinsulate coats..  I don’t have one but I dream of one in pink purple or whatever..

Space heaters… I have one for every room of my house, so which ever room I am in I can turn it on with out cranking up the house heat.

Layers of clothing!  I love layers!  I live in layers! 

I also love hot baths! 

And my most favorite is a snuggly husband! 

 

On that note I will end my post….

Good Night!

Pink Doberman

TBI.. ThE LaTeSt.. 2nD SeT oF TeStS

So the appointment.  I’ve been so tired I’ve almost forgotten.  I am doing better.  I still am freezing which I guess is par for the course since it is fall and I am a big weeny! 

So I have a huge problem with my Ambient Visual Field.  Google that!   Check out what the air force has to say on the subject as well.  HUGE!!  Remember what the Dr said before about me?  So the latest test show improvement!  I have also noticed improvement.   

The best part what I described before the tests was what the tests ended up showing!  How cool is that.  Here is how I can describe this to you.  It is like I have been looking through a tube.  I can see what I am facing.  I have trouble processing these things in a timely manner.  But I can.  However what ever I see that is outside the tube I do not process. 

Say you are working with a camera ( a nice one, the kind that has a lens that comes off and on )  The lens is perfect meaning you have perfect vision, however something in the camera is broken processing only part of the image and what it is processing is not being properly processed either.  What you are seeing is distorted.   In addition this defect is causing the camera’s battery to run out faster. 

Your eyes are the lens and your brain is the camera.  The camera is what tells you what is through the lens. 

I am getting stronger lenses.  The Dr. would like to give me stronger ones yet but the prism is so strong that he doesn’t think I will be able to move about with it.  So here is where we are going next.  I am back to wearing the glasses also 24/7 which I actually prefer.  He said I will know when I should start wearing them less.  Which I already said I could tell when that was. 

I also predicted which lenses I would get sent home with.  The tests proved what my brain said was the best!  Ha!  I love this!  They did all of these eye tests, standing tests, brain wave tests, and last time they even did an antioxidant test. 

I asked about the antioxidant test, the Dr. said that if you do not have enough antioxidants in your system that your brain can not rewire itself.  So even though I had good levels of antioxidants, guess what I am taking even more of now!  You betcha, a little is good a lot is better, at least that has always been this girls theory!  I want to get better and I am not going to leave stones unturned! 

I also asked about the tape by my nose.  He shared about that but neither Jason or I can recall exactly what was shared.  =) 

So the long and the short of it is this.  Things are improving, not as fast as the Doc would like.  He said another six months or so.  I go back when my next lenses arrive, mean time I am wearing my old ones. 

I will keep you posted.  I do feel better wearing the glasses than when not wearing them.  I guess that is a fantastic thing! 

What this Doctor can tell from his tests is down right amazing!  I can feel what his tests show which is the even cooler part! 

I feel so blessed to be in a position of hope.

On another note my hip keeps giving me fits.  Just my left one right now, it had been both!  Ugg.  With some rest hopefully things will start cooperating! 

Oh, my sisters also came to visit!  Fun stuff.  Won’t talk a lot about that except that we took some great pictures, and traded clothes and shoes!  I am now more fashionable!  I love sisters! 

LiStS

So, the quest for the checked off list began again this morning.  This morning’s list was a bit daunting I must say.  Mostly because I had so many things on the list that were emotionally difficult for me to deal with.  Therefore, starting became a chore. 

I usually don’t have a problem tackling my lists.  I have to make them otherwise what needs to get done fades away into oblivion.  I recently saw another bloggers lists as shared by her husband.  It made mine seem like a piece of cake.  Her lists look more to the point of what my lists used to look like.  Want to see her lists?  Click here to see Jasmine’s Lists! 

I love Jasmine, I took a photography class from her!  Wow! 

I start my lists of things to do Worst First!  Otherwise I’d never get to the things I hate or dread the most.  Inevitably the worst things are never as bad as you’d imagine them to be.  Thank goodness.  And I always work extra hard to get to the BEST things on my lists as well. 

Trouble is that lists never seem to end. 

I guess that is good.  It gives me something else to think of and do.  Besides I have more easy things and more dreaded things on my list for tomorrow.  I always do. 

What is on your lists?  How do you feel when you get them done? 

Some days I feel good getting myself out of bed, clothed and clean.  Other days I have intentions of at least getting a couple extra things done, then yet others, I am able to do more!  So I just cram in what ever suits the day. 

Some days I do it better than others and some days I do it worse than others. 

The last two days I’ve not been getting out and about on my scooter.  I should be, Luka is itching to go for a run.  I just needed a break from all of the jostling around my body had been receiving lately.  The scooter itself tosses me about quite a bit and I needed to let my body calm down, so I’ve been resting for the most part these past two days.  Finally I started feeling better tonight.  Phew!  Yesterday my body was rebelling. 

So tomorrow the plan is to get Luka out and about and watch some football on TV!  Jason shared with me that it will be on the free kind!  Woot!  I can’t wait! 

Blessings

Pink Doberman

zzzzZZzzZzzZZZZzzZZzz….z.z.zzz.zz

A whole lot of tired!  I am hopefully getting caught up.  A trip to the Eye Neuro today was a three hour event.  Better than the last which was four hours.  But tiring for me none the less.  Afterwards Jason took me to get something to eat.  Luckily a sushi place was nearby and I grabbed a spicy salmon roll!  Which was totally worth the wait! 

Then we were off to Physical Therapy!  It went well.  It was a good visit.  I got my head and neck worked on, which I sorely needed.  Then some shocking and warm wet heat.  It went well.  We managed to squeak out a couple of errand stops on the way home, one of which was looking at new phones.  I’ve really struggled with the one I currently have.  Unfortunately after my two appointments, my mind was completely shut off to the idea, and I couldn’t even manage to grasp a new understanding of how they worked.  So that stop was a bust. 

So was the next one, we’d stopped at a scooter store.  Two employees were in the store.  Evidently they didn’t want any business.. no one would come out of their offices to speak with us.  So we left.  Frustrating.  I was exhausted and not in the mood to deal with slacking sales people. 

Fortunately there are plenty of other scooter stores in NEBRASKA!  Although I am sure these other stores won’t have our states name in theirs. 

Grrr.

On arriving at home, I went straight to bed.  I slept until 8pm.  I am hoping that tomorrow I can actually accomplish something again.  I’ll share more about my eye appt later.  I am tired again and hear the pillow calling my name.  Incidentally Jason crashed out around 9 so we both ended up needing some extra sleep. 

If you are looking for more great reading there is another blog carnival going on right now.  This time dealing with facing your fears.  I didn’t get a post written for this one, but there are many other great bloggers featured!  Check it out!  Selena at Oh My Aches and Pains is hosting!

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

ThE BaTh & SpLaSh ExPeRiEnCe!!

So as I write tonight I am reminded about how life works.  The ups the downs, the here and now, the expectation and the loss.  It seems that everything has happened in a few short days to a variety of people than I know. 

You never know when life is going to take a turn.  The trick is to enjoy each moment, live your best life in the now.  I’ve been doing just that!  I’ve had a great week/weekend I am blessed beyond words.  I also with my new scooter was able to go bless a few others today as well. 

Time is a valuable gift.  If you have a bit of time to offer to someone, it can make all of the difference in the world. 

I am not going to share exactly what I did because it isn’t important that you know that.  What is important that you know is that you can make a difference to someone else by offering your time to them.  Time to listen, time to share, time to just be present, time to offer a hug, time to hold a hand, time to eat a meal, time to offer a favor… 

You don’t need to do anything grand.  Simple is sometimes the thing that warms the heart most, the thing that can offer the most hope.  Life is funny and fickle. 

I remember how life used to be.  I was able to offer time to others.  Now being blessed by a scooter, I am able to get around and bless others again as well. 

Luka received a blessing today as well!  He got a bath, blowout, and a nail trim.  I had never taken him to this place before.  Money being one issue, and I’d had a quick and not so pleasant experience myself there years before.  So I’d just never thought to take him there.  In fact I in my mind had said I wouldn’t.  We were out at some friends home the other night and they were raving about that place, and when I called a closer place that did dog grooming, they shared that they were now only doing small dogs, but that this place did large ones. 

Well, once again I am reminded to NEVER say NEVER!  Because here I go yet again eating my words.  It was a very wonderful experience.  Luka came out sparkly clean!  He really needed that!  I don’t know how he had managed to get so dirty, but when your hands stink after petting him something must be done!  YEEEW!   I am so grateful, the gals there really did an awesome job! 

We were so blessed that they had a cancelation today and could fit him in!  We can’t wait to go back!  Ok, I think Luka can wait.. the whole time he looked at me while they were blowing him out…  he seemed to be saying.. lets go, I am clean!!! Get me away from these blowers!

He hates when I use my blow drier..  But he was a champ and made it through with very little fuss!  He’s a new man!

So what have you been resistant to?  Yet again I am discovering that I am usually never right, and that I need to continue to keep an open mind about things, even if I have had an experience.  Sometimes good things need a second or third look! 

If I judge to early, I will be the one missing out!  Someday I may learn!  In the mean time just keep praying for me!

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

TBI gLaSsEs.. Dr’S. & ??

Good news.. the glasses are working.  I read a map in about 20 seconds the other day, found the location and was able to spout off correctly which road to take.  THIS HAS BEEN A HUGE PROBLEM in the past.  So huge in fact that I’d been forbidden from giving directions!  I had gotten us lost 5 times in a matter of minutes on a trip a few years ago.  That compiled with the other “lost” directions I’d been giving got me fired from the job. 

I get so confused and turned around, that still happens.  I still don’t know where I am if we are out driving, but if you tell me to find something on a map now, I guess I’ll be good to go.  We’ll be testing me out further I am sure.  I am thrilled!!  Before I would stare and stare at the map to find out what I was looking for, I knew what it was, I knew how to read the map, but somehow it all got mixed up and I couldn’t get it to come out right.  Frustrating, and embarrassing for sure.  I used to read maps quite often, that is how I was able to do so much traveling. 

Oh happy day, there is hope for my brain.  I am down now to one hour a day for the glasses.  THRILLING I know.  I go in next week to be tested or checked out or whatever..  I am still off balance, in fact I don’t have much improvement with that, but I can tell things are different.  In the water trying to balance during therapy, oh I am sure I am funny to watch!  It is quite the trick to keep me balanced in the pool, I need help, lots of it.  But I am hopeful that this too will improve. 

Next week I’ve more therapy appointments.  Jason is working quite a lot so squeezing them in has been difficult.  Not driving is really a pain when you need to leave town. =)  But we are making due and things are working out.  The other day while in a different small town, I was able to take a van ride to therapy.  It cost $1.50 for there and back!  Totally worth it, and I could take it anywhere I wanted!  I’ve only used it once but may use it more, I haven’t heard of a service like this where I live.  That would be totally cool if it existed, and it wasn’t to expensive.

In my home news, I sorted out clothes, that I don’t wear.  I am getting rid of them, I’d already gifted a bunch of things to a neighbor.  That felt fantastic!  I still think I may need to break down and get rid of more things.  I don’t like all of the clutter that the extra clothes and shoes make in my bedroom.  I’ll be reevaluating as the weekend goes on what I want to keep and what should be rehomed.  I also need to get through my sewing/craft/mk room.  I think I’ve got things in there that I won’t be using either.  Although winter is coming.. and I do hope to get some of those projects knocked out. 

The extra good news is that I can sit upright for a while now.  The bad news is I would still like more Radio Frequency Ablation done in lower parts of my neck and upper back.  Those parts start to really hurt after a while of being up, and take quite a long time and lots of meds to get calmed back down.  But, I’ve been able to do more things than at the beginning of the year FINALLY!!!  I think I had the last round of injections in June or so, and I am finally able to move about more.  This time the procedure was so weird.  But I am thankful none the less.

I can’t decide if it will irritate the Dr. if I go back and ask for more injections.  He’s had a little ego issue, and I think I pissed him off last time.  Or maybe he was just really having a bad day… either way I think I pissed him off.  For sure I pissed off his PA who seems to grate on my nerves.  I don’t know how it is with you, but if I make an appointment with a person, any field, I expect that the appointment is going to be with THAT person.  If for some reason it is not, all places in the past, including my former life would call and let me know, or at least inform me prior to someone different walking into the room with no explanation.  That irritates me about this Dr’s office.  HOW RUDE!  I’ve gotten off on the wrong foot several times with this PA.  In general I don’t mind seeing them.  Just this one I have a problem with.  Uggg…

Frustrated.  For now I have avoided going back to see the Dr.  I don’t know what my other options are.  The procedure that this Dr does really does give me real lasting benefits!  Granted they don’t last forever, but they last quite a while, and they don’t involve taking more pills! 

I don’t know what the future holds.  I don’t know whether I am over sensitive, I sure could be.  But in my whole life this is only the second time I’ve had a problem with a Dr, clinic or whatever. 

Who knows… I guess I will just have to see what the future holds.

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

cLeAn fLoOrs….. aHHHHH!

Ok so, I’ve taken my pills, now I get to wait.  Lovely…..

I was supposed to make it to the dentist yesterday, but woke up with a nasty migraine, a pile of medication later, all is right with the world as long as I don’t have to think.. and oh yeah, my neck is a little sore.  But that is all routine. 

I’ve been busy you see.  I’ve been upright with out much bracing for my neck and it is starting to show.  FLARE is really the word.  I am going to have to lay down for several days to get it to go away.  I don’t want to, I’ve got lots to do.  I hate that I had to miss the dentist, really, but between the pain I was having and the soon to be pain of the dental procedures ( remember I don’t use anesthetic because it doesn’t work on me..)  Well, attending my appointment, would have felt about as bad as it could get, and that may have been enough to send my incoherent butt to the ER yet again.  Something that I am trying to completely avoid. 

All in all though I’ve been busy.  Busy for me.  I am icing today, with medication of course, will be laying down most of the day, but hoping to squeeze in a few loads of laundry, so Jason doesn’t have to do them later.  My glorious husband just swept, vacuumed and mopped the whole house, he hates doing this.  He especially hates doing all of the rooms at once.  I of course, think anytime you do one floor you should do all of the others as well, other wise they will contaminate each other.  Just my two cents.  I love him for getting it all done.  Those things are not the best things for me to be doing, bless his heart, he does them anyway, every once in a while… More often than I realize I suspect.. but at any rate. 

Unbenonced to me he also cleaned the toilets the other day!!  Yippeee!  I love having clean toilets.  These things are so simple yet so rewarding.  I can for surely say I was never the best house keeper before, but I did have a schedule of getting things done.  I used to clean houses, my mother and aunts were fanatics about it and so I was trained well. 

I inherited their thinking I suppose when it came to cleaning, clean it ALL, if your going to work in a room, do it from top to bottom, the walls the floors, underneath everything all over the place.  Let’s just say this theory no longer applies to our home.  =D.  I am fine with that.  It is clean enough, it is not perfect, but we also don’t have babies living here. 

So I am thankful today for my husbands hard work yesterday in making our floors spick and span.  I love clean floors, it makes my feet happy!  So today I am going to try to get the laundry done, he hates doing that also, but he hates cleaning the floors worse than the laundry. 

One thing at a time.  Pills are kicking in.. gotta lay down and let them work some more while the ice is still cold.

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

i KnOw WhAt i WaNt tO Be wHeN i gRoW uP!!!

So tonight as I was getting ready for bed I had a realization.  Something that has been bothering me since I’ve lost things in my life one by one.  Before the accident I knew, I was focused driven and passionate about my career choice. 

I am sure that what I am going through is normal.  Anyone that has gone through loss goes through this to some degree.  What am I going to do now.. Life is not like it was, now what…  What are my options..  I have written about this very subject more than I would have liked to.  I feel like I have thought about it infinitely more than I would like to have spent time on. 

I am transitioning.  I am getting clarity.  I am creating a new vision for myself about my purpose and what I will do to impact the lives of others. 

Often I have spent my time looking out my windows, or at my walls or at the closet in my room that has no doors.  (BTW I love my closet with no doors.)  I found myself being inspired by the things around me.  Paintings by some very important people in our lives grace our walls, and the birds, well, I’ve shared quite a lot about them here as well. 

These are some of the things that over the past 6 years have helped keep my mind in a positive place. 

 

Art, Nature, Life these things bring joy to me.  If they bring joy to me they will bring joy to others as well. 

What am I going to be when I grow up??? 

Well this much I know.  I am going to be an Artist.

What kind?  I am not sure.  Right now I am going to be a mixed medium artist.  Focusing on photography, watercolor painting, makeup artist, positive thinking artist, conceptual artist, writing artist….

I do however know that I absolutely want no part of being a con artist.  That would take up way to much energy!  =D

I know I should have more focus than this, but I don’t.  I am going to just see where this road leads me.  I may end up being a starving artist, I do know that art is something I am good at doing.  It is a God given gift and I just need to develop it I can still do lots of things in this category, maybe not all at once maybe not all at the same time, maybe not every day, but I can do something.  I can keep my mind and hopefully my fingers busy creating. 

My goals?

1.  Do something that gives me passion.. ( to concur the world. )

2.  Do something so well that it gives joy, meaning, and impact to others in a positive and meaningful way. 

3.  Do something that can pay for itself.

4.  Do something that others want to support and be a part of helping grow.

5.  ( My former self speaking)  Expanding my career choice into and actual sustaining career that I could support myself and Jason on in a not so starving artist kind of way! 

 

I love the feeling of concurring the world.  Just thought I’d throw that in there.   It is a glorious feeling that I so enjoy, and have experienced many times over in my life.  The feeling of doing my best at something, and it is making an impact that can be actually palpable.  I love that feeling. 

I want to create that with my art.  Now if only I could find some generous benefactors who need some art!!  =)! 

 

So join me as I travel my path into the great unknown.  I am going to be creating things.  I hope I am able to create more than a mess!

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

AbSEnT

Well, that aptly describes my blog posting as of late.  I just haven’t been in the mood.  Putting things together seems at times to come freely readily, and flow out my fingers.  Not that I am having a block or anything, I just really haven’t had much to say.  Well, I have, but I can’t.  So silence is sometimes the next best option. 

Right now Luka is lying next to the bed going through the motions that would appear that he is having a seizure… if you didn’t know him.  I have a strange service dog to say the least.  I think the flailing about that he does is what he taught himself to do if he didn’t have anyone around to give him attention.  Weird right? 

He’s a Service Dog.. he’s always around someone?  I have my doubts his whole life has been like this.  Don’t know what happened with his second owner.  I’ve got some questions I will never get answered.  But Luka is fine, doing well, and has a few oddities, that make him even more interesting.

I have a SD that scratches his own ears with his paws!  Ha Ha… it really is hilarious!  If you see him having a seizure like activity that is what he is doing.  It looks like he is in pain, he moans and everything.  Oh my!  If I could figure out how to video him doing it I would! 

Well, he is now resting comfortably.  He’s been playing with his BFF Toby lately.  That always makes for a happy dog.  We have our routines worked out these days.  I’ve been getting migraines less and less, which makes me a bit more comfortable to have him off roaming about with his friend.  

He’s here when I need him, lately that has been with stairs or in unfamiliar environments.  We have a comfortable relationship, he’s pretty reliable, and I am fairly needy.  =D

Not much more to say tonight I guess.  I just wanted to pop in a post, and share.  I am now down to THREE hours a day for my glasses!  Woot!!

Don’t know more from the Dr yet, but I am getting arrangements made to do PT.  My Crazy Life makes this very interesting! 

Blessings,

Pink Doberman