PrOuD u DiD!

Today, relief is finally starting.  I put some clothes away today from a basket that has been sitting in our room ready to put away for a while.  I felt good to have done that.  It isn't much but it felt good to do. 

I actually felt good enough later after resting to do some more, but thought I had better not push it.  I have my Massage Therapy tomorrow, that should help me feel even better and I really need to get our house clean.  So doing one more thing today, instead of resting to feel even better for tomorrow, so I can hopefully do even more is my strategy.  I hope it works. 

I've been sleeping pretty well lately!  I am pretty happy about that.  Well for the past few nights anyhow.  I guess I don't talk a lot about that.  Some nights it is hard to get to sleep... Jason just rolls his eyes each night. 

I have a certain pillow that goes under my head, another above that as a back up head pillow, two big heavy ones that go under my legs two that go on the outside of the bed, a little U shaped one that goes there towards my head another triangle one towards the center, another bow one there too, and an extra bean bag pillow that I have as a spare. 

This is so weird.  Before I remember sleeping always on my stomach or if I wasn't sleeping like that I was curled up in some sort of ball to sleep I just used one pillow.  Since the accident, I have required pillows everywhere.  If I don't my limbs fall asleep, blood stops flowing and it is very bad and painful.  I used to need two more big pillows as well, but I have eliminated those since getting the Radial Neuropothy Injections.  Those things were a huge turning point in my life.  They were the hugest blessing!  I am not sure if I am needing more or not since my neck is bugging me more lately, but so far so good. 

So which ever direction I turn to get comfortable in my sleep I can prop my body up with pillows.  I need to share that I hate my nightly ritual.  Jason can just do things so easily, I often find myself jealous of his ability to do everything easily.

It frustrates me so many people live their lives with a mental block.  I watched a show tonight the host was the guy from the show Survivor at least I think it was.  It was a show about a guy who has been told he has ALS.  This show is helping him live his dreams.  One of the most poinient things he shared was to finish what you start, he had that regret.  He wants to make sure his kids learn to do that before he dies.  It was a really neat show, reminding us all of our lives have an ending that for many comes way to soon. 

I think I am going to like this show.  I don't know what the title is but I am sure I will soon.  I am not dying!  But I am no longer living, I feel as if I am in flux.  Flux isn't very fun, but it is necessary for arriving at a different destination.  I look at it I guess as if I am inside the Star Trek Transporter Beam, and I have yet to be beamed to my complete state and new destination.  Even in Star Trek people get lost in the transporter beam, with a little effort everything works out in the end, at least most of the time! =)!

I miss Star Trek!

When we keep our eyes on the road ahead we see that things are coming closer to fruition.  A while ago we were able to pay one big bill off.  We have more to go, and we will eventually get it all done.  Each step we take toward this really does feel good.  Jason doesn't like to deal with the details, it frustrates him.  The details were hard for me before, and now it is even harder to get correct.  It takes me longer to think and longer to figure things out, but I can and I do. 

Besides around here, I guess I have time.  One thing I remembered that was on my computer was a resume I have been working on for a relative.  I will be starting that over I guess, as I don't know how to get the information off of the computer when it has died. 

Something else fun is happening, I am going to speak in front of a committee of my state legislature.  I am rather excited about the prospect of this.  I am excited to share my perspective.  All three to five minutes of it!  YaHoo!  I will share more about this later!   I will get to express LOTS of frustration I have a bout a topic I feel very passionately about! 

Another thing is happening as well that I am almost equally excited about.  I am not talking about that either!  Funny as both of the things are related.  They are practically going to  be happening at the same time well, not quite but oddly enough..  Ha!  It feels good!

I have also been asked to participate in something else.  I am not sure I will do this, but I may.  Need to think about this more though. 

Other things well they are happening one thing at a time.  I am hoping that things hold together long enough for us to make it down our road a while further.  It might not be graceful, but it would be do able! 

I am figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life again.  I thought I knew what I was called to do.  Evidently God has a different plan since the other has come pretty much to a complete halt.  Hmmm..  I've got some Ideas.  I just need to keep working at it all.  Educating myself is the key it would seem. 

Jason's been a little unfocused lately, he hasn't been pushing to many buttons and is beginning to find there isn't anything to download.  I sure hope he finds his focus and can start pushing buttons again.  He really needs to improve his aim and create more downloads. 

Luka, he is loving his sleep lately!  We seem to make quite the pair, this has been the winter that never ends.  On Facebook today a former neighbor who has moved to Texas posted how amazed she is to have her spring flowers and green grass already..  Grrrrr. is the response I posted. 

Another friend posted some people have everything and really have nothing and those who appear to have nothing really have everything.  I find this also to be true.  I feel very fortunate even though I complain.  I am alive and I am spending time with Jason I am lucky to be loved.  I have more than most, I am grateful for what I have! 

I also have my imagination as well.  It is giving me lots of ideas I hope I can soon sit up on my own long enough to tackle.  Lately I have had to have my head rested on pillows for a good part of the day, this is so frustrating.  This is why I am going to want to talk to my Dr about this again.  I am not sure what the solution is but , somehow I would like to sit up on my own for a length of time.  It would also be nice to turn my head a bit from side to side with out fear of it hurting worse.  Wha Wah WHAWha....Wa.... 

I am happy, I have pictures that prove it!  Ha! 

I will hope that you also figure your directions out, that you don't get to worked up about the things you have no control over, that you are happy with what you have and where you are at, that you have dreams that you are in pursuit of and that you finish what you start, even if you find that your path may eventually take a different direction.  You will be proud you did.  Each day is special unique and offers you something, grab your nugget and use it in the days to come!  I plan on doing just this and I really sincerely hope that you do too! 

Pink Doberman

A wHoLe NeW wOrLd!

So, Jason has been considerate and is letting me use his computer again tonight.  We had a good day.  I could hardly walk to day but it was a good day.  I refused to stay home as I knew he was really wanting to go to Avatar the movie.  I did what I could I got ready took my meds, he knew I was hurting and said we didn't need to go that we could stay.

He needed to go, and while I knew I would hurt even worse, it was worth it.  I don't give up and I don't let someone I love not do something because I might have extra pain.  Especially when it is something that is good for his soul!. ..   In addition I have wanted to see that movie, I did want to see it in 3D can't do that at home I didn't have a time line and figured I probably would miss watching this one in the theater like so many others. 

These days I much prefer watching movies at home than in the theaters.  Those seats hurt.  The only theater I like is the one owned by friends who have comfey couches and recliners to sit on at their theater.  Most chairs hurt me.  That is a big problem with so many places I go, including Dr's offices...  so frustrating.

After the movie, I couldn't get up.. 3 hours of sitting had done a number on me... Aie Yie Yai...  Oh my I hurt.  He was going to take me out for a burger afterward, but he gracefully decided to take me home and let me lay down and rest.  Phew!  Jason even made me pizza!  Go Jason!  We had gone to the noon movie and so our supper was quite welcome!  He even put pineapple on it!  Mmmm!

So here I am many hours later.  But it was worth it.  Jason loved it, he was actually kind of expecting not to because of all of the hype.  But he loved it!  He had a great time, huge smile and it gave him 3 hours of peace, except for every time I would shift in my chair he would be asking me if I was alright...   bless his heart.  I told him I was.  After all I was enjoying the movie and at times I actually forgot my pain, so that was good also!  =)

We even took pictures of ourselves in our 3D glasses.  We chose to keep them instead of recycling them... never know when 3D glasses will come in handy, and these just look plane nerdy on top of it all!  They are awesome!  Don't know if I will post them or not.  I may.


Avatar was worth seeing, more than the cool film effects, I really loved the message behind the movie.  I also loved the fact that the lead role was played by someone who is disabled, and finds relief of his different abilities through his experiences and changes. 

Sometimes putting yourself in someone else's shoes opens up a whole new world for you.  A beautiful world. 

Excited for a new day!  I really love my husband!  ( just thought I'd share....)

BaD LiSt... Grrrrrr...........

Just wanting to drop a quick note.  Some things are going on here..  Happier stuff is at the end..

My computer broke again... don't know if there is any coming back from this latest problem... the whole thing went black and won't even try to start up.   So my posts may be limited from now on...

My migraines are increasing in frequency and in pain again.  My neck pain has been increasingly worse and worse than it had gotten...  Shoulders and hips... those are feeling the pain too.... geesh..

Our bills have gone crazy... Dental Bills which I though insurance should cover... well it didn't.  Wish I could do my math better...  Ozzie's vet bill....  Jeep needing work done....  Yearly deductibles due for doctor visits... and yeah, there are a few more... gosh when it rains it pours.

I thought by now I would be able to start seriously looking for another service dog.  But another mouth to feed let alone training costs etc.  Don't seem to be in the cards. 

Oddly enough I had ordered another computer on Ebay to "replace" the computer I had, since I was realizing that it's time was coming to an end...  The screen was already giving me problems...  but the seller lied and the computer wasn't what was advertised.... yada yada yada... so after getting the computer I had to pay to send it back to them and I am still waiting for the money back...  should come tomorrow... Paypal... grrrr...
Not buying on Ebay again.. 

I am also committed to hosting two parties one this week and one next month... which I know will be fun and I am doing them with the thought of reconnecting with friends and other people.  Since for me to go out and see them all would require more energy and more of Jason's time than he has... but I miss seeing them so that is my plan at least.  I don't know that I will be ordering any of the things for my self at this point from the parties but I hope the people who can attend have a great time and find some benefit.

Jason is going to be working a lot.  He is picking up more and more jobs.  Thank God there is work available for him to pick up.  We will have things taken care of eventually...  I don't know that we will ever be even close to getting things all fixed or caught up but hey, we are just doing our best. 

So... until I figure out a computer situation.. as Jason has been ever so gracious to let me use his computer.  ( he usually takes it with him, or keeps it at his desk where it is to uncomfortable for me to sit )  He brought it up the other day for me to use. 

My computer is my sanity link to the outside world.  I told him this a while ago, but I don't think I would have been able to remain sane if I hadn't had one.  three channels on the television or so just are enough to make you hate the television... 

At any rate Jason has just been so great!  He is really needing a vacation.  He isn't going to get one, I think he's realized that...  I think it is depressing and something that is making life rather hard for him these days, especially with all of the gloomy weather.  He hasn't had anything really pretty outside to take pictures of.  He needs some green! 

Good news though, our friend shot a couple of deer... ground it all himself for us and we will be picking it up on one of Jason's work trips by our friends place!  Thank God!  Luka's food is costing a fortune, it is worth it he is doing so much better!  This will just make things so much easier!  Bless or friends! 

I even got taken out for lunch today by a friend.  It is still icy, she pulled up into our drive way walked up to the door to get me Luka and I slid out to her truck... we loaded Luka up and we went to lunch!  Yea!  Although when we got home I nearly did the splits getting out of the truck on the ice.  I really need more strength in my leggs...  Oh the joys..  Luka and I had a great time!  We can't wait to get out again!  Thanks to our great friend!

Jason had the idea of going to the movie tomorrow.  I have some movie passes he doesn't know about those.  But I think it will be a good three our mental vacation for him.  He wants to see Avatar.   Another person is also wanting MK!  Yea! 

I learned the other day, actually a while ago now that one of our girls in Brasil who is a MK Director, used to be in my unit when I was still able to work... she has TWO offspring Directors Now!!  Woot Woot Woot for her!  She is just doing awesome.  When she lived with us she would travel around with me to all of my classes and meetings!  She is the reason I went to Brasil to work my MK business!  I am so glad that she is thriving!  It is the perfect thing for her!  She's a lot like me!  I know she will have even more directors soon! 

Speaking of directors, some former MK Director friends of mine are using Isagenix!  Yea!  Which is super fun for me!  I am so happy to be in touch with them again!  I had so lost touch with them. 

I am getting smarter, with all of the computer problems I have had, I am learning. I still have more to learn but I will get there. 

Lots to be thankful for, lots to keep working for.  I sure hope that I can start back to therapy soon, I can sure tell that my body is declining.  It is so painful for me to hold my head up, it isn't getting better it is getting worse and worse...  

Well with that said, I have lots more to share, but I've gotta stop.. my meds are kicking in... Sorry about the spelling, I am back to using blogger to post and I don't know where to find the spell check... 

Thank God for Friends and Blessings! 
Pink Doberman

OuTiNg PaRt tWo

Luka and I showing off one of the new dobie puppies at the Doberman Showing.  See his new boots!!  Muttluks!!  They worked perfect!

I don’t think I will be wearing this outfit again.  Not having a long mirror to see how I look I really made some interesting choices with this outfit!  I did stay warm!!  That is really all that mattered! 

Two pairs of tights, long socks Fuggs skirt 2 shirts and a red blazer = nice and toasty girl!  Just a little funny looking. 

It ended up being a good day yesterday.  I sure felt my outing this morning.  I was pretty achy, but other than that I felt good. 

Unfortunately by afternoon my neck started acting up so my day has been uneventful. 

I was going to write more.  I did have more to say, but I can’t remember at all.  Lately I have been drawing some blanks.  I miss my Physical Therapy and Massage Therapy!  I am going backward instead of forward again. 

Bad thing is that it is a new year.  You have to pay a whole new batch of deductibles in the new year.  We don’t have the money.  Ozzie’s bills and my dental bills as well as my fading lifeline to the world, my computer (the screen is going bad). 

I will get a massage on Monday!  I am grateful for that.  It doesn’t go through insurance.  Oh boy oh boy! 

One thing at a time.  Since most day’s since I have stopped going to therapy I have gotten worse and worse and worse.  Well I will be finding a way to make it all up so I can get back on track getting more strength back. 

Sorry Jason, I guess that means you get to start being a regular chauffer again soon.  Welcome to boredom and getting nothing else done…..

 

The latest mortifying thing for Jason was having a friend A.K.  come in and use the bathroom while picking something up.  Our house is horrible.  The worst it has ever been, probably not, but the worst it has ever been when someone else saw it.   While I wasn’t mortified, I wasn’t thrilled, of course I am  happy to have people in no matter what our house looks like. 

We are not where we live, how clean our house is, how wealthy or poor, or what we drive or don’t.  We are people who are just doing the best we can do in this thing called life! 

And of course A.K. didn’t care, she wouldn’t ever care about that.  We have really good friends! 

I keep thinking I will get to clean it.  I get something done, but then get to tired, and the next thing you know it looks as if I haven’t done a thing. 

Jason does some things too but he has also got a lot on his plate.  So I guess if you plan on stopping by, bring your cleaning clothes!  Ha Ha!  Just kidding!  

 

Here are some more pictures that Jason has taken! 

What a beautiful boy!  So distinguished!  I really like these pictures!  He’ll take pictures of your family and pets too!

You can’t beat his prices!!

Well good night for now!  Tomorrow is always a better day!

Keeping Haiti in my mind!  BTW Just found where we will be donating!  Lutheran World Relief.  Thrivent will give matching donations!  I think for every one dollar we give they donate two!  You can even text your donations in! 

Blessings,

Pink Doberman

OuTiNg…

The last several posts were written ahead of time just as this one is.  Actually many of my posts are now being prewritten, and a time chosen for their actual posting! 

I like this feature!  It gives me the opportunity to create a blog with more consistency.  Of course often times I will find myself actually posting immediately as well.  I think there are times for both I suppose.

I have been trying to write a post about disaster relief and Haiti.  Right now I just can’t come up with what I want to say in a way that I think will be understood. 

This is an area in which I have a fair degree of experience.  I have been a National Disaster Volunteer and then went on to work for a volunteer organization, by running one of the branches.  It was all an enlightening and rewarding experience. 

I am not sure if I will be able to write about it or not.  It is a chapter of my life that I don’t speak much about.  At least not anymore. 

Keeping this in mind, know my thoughts and prayers are with those suffering in Haiti, the relief workers, the military, and the friends and families of those that love people there. 

I have received word that a dear friend of our friends did die there.  I have also received word that the family of friends adopted Haitian children are ok.  No more is known that that, but for those families and friends, I will be saying extra prayers. 

As I type this tonight, as is often the case, Jason is already lying in bed next to me asleep.  Tonight I watched him for a few moments as he reached behind him and itched his foot behind his back while sleeping away.  He is warm as usual and I am not as usual.  I’ve got my half of the electric blanket on high and he’s got at least two fans going in our room. 

Luka is asleep on the floor beside my bed.  Tonight we think he alerted on Jason’s latest headache.  Pretty cool me thinks!!!  =D

Today was a good day for me, and for us really.  This was the first day in a month or so… (who knows for sure really how long, I’d have to go back and read more blog post’s to identify a correct time period.)    that I actually felt good.  I had a clear head.  I could hold my head up with out the pain continuing to increase.  It still hurt but the pain didn’t keep intensifying. 

I am so grateful for that! 

Yesterday was decent as well, actually right now the days seem to be finally on a gradual assent of improvement!  Phew!  I hope this continues!  I will keep trying to not let my body get further out of whack.

It is also a great day because, we were able to go out and be with the rescue dogs.  While we weren’t out doing that for any great length of time.  It did feel good.  It has been hard with winter, with Ozzie’s passing and with me feeling like C. R. A. P.!  to get out and do it.

Jason even brought along his camera, I have yet to look at his pictures.  But I will here soon.  I may even post some here before I close this out. 

Luka and I walked around the store we showed in today.  Both the local Petco’s and the local Petsmart’s allow rescue groups to show off the dogs!  What great stores!  We really like both companies! 

Luka did end up going to the dentist with me the other day, his feet are FINALLY starting to heal!  Thank God!  Since I have had him on his home cooked food diet as well, the gnawing desire has decreased.  His feet still itch a bit because of the healing, but he is starting to understand the benefit of leaving them alone.

We have switched from bandages and elastic wraps back to socks. 

So he went out excitedly with me to the dentist.  He alerted on me there as well.  He has done that two times in front of my current dental student.  The one before I think he alerted one time.  Good Job Luka!!  He is starting to get his mojo back!

So today at first arrival at the pet supply store, Luka was a nut!  Super excited and whining to go do and see everyone.  Poor guy, he’s been cooped up with his injuries for so long!  And then the weather… and me….

Today was a welcome relief for him!  He is starting to be much happier.  So am I.  I was feeling the same as he was!

By the end of the time there he was a perfectly obedient Service Dog.  Content and working.  We even walked a pup around the store!  That was fun!  ….

Jason is needing the computer off for better rest..

Good Night,

Pink Doberman

BeTtEr…. bEtTeR…. WiTh tOmOrRoW iN mY SiGhTs!

So I am hoping to write a bit more optimistic today.  My body is in a sour state.  So I will talk about other things.

Things I am doing today.

I did fold a load of laundry.  One that Jason had started.  First in quite a while. 

I started another load of laundry.  One that didn’t require me to crawl around on the floor and sort, I might add.

The mail was once again delivered to the door.  YEA!  I got a package.  I had ordered a used computer off of Ebay.  I don’t get things there often.  But my current computer has been redone many times now.  I fear the need to do it again soon and needed another to have for parts or back up. 

This didn’t turn out to be the best idea, or at least it seems that way at the moment.  The promises of the seller aren’t what I received.  Now I have to figure out what to do. Grrrr…

Our postal delivery carrier who is not very cheery any day, is unusually grumpy as of late.  It doesn’t help I suppose that all of the snow has worsened his job.  He pretty much refuses to use our boxes as there is too much snow in front of our box. 

Jason didn’t scoop it out after each snow he just drove on it.  So while everyone with boxes can reach into them with ease.  This is against postal regulations apparently. 

None of the other neighbors who share the area with us seem to ever care about that space.  I think Jason with all he’s had on his plate just gave up on this one. 

Which is fine with me, I can’t go sliding out to get the mail anyway, so I don’t care if it is in the box or not.  Jason just as well drive to the post office on the days he is home to gather it. 

I didn’t leave a holiday gift for the postman this year either though.  I had most years in the past.   Probably another strike against us.

Ahh the joys.

Today is I decided to so a cleanse day for myself.  So no eating for me.  I haven’t been sleeping well at all.  I don’t know why, and I have been feeling just rotten.  Both physically and mentally.  I don’t know if this will help, but at this point I don’t think it will hurt either.  I am following the plan. 

So far my plan for that is going well. 

I got some funny pictures from a fund raising event that our friends participated in.  Oh, my would that have been fun to see.  That is all I will really say on the subject since I have been asked to keep them from floating around the world.  But Jason and I did get a great laugh from them! 

I have a project in the works for the winner of that event.  I think it will be something at least that his wife will enjoy having.  Hee Heee!!!! 

I’ve also been loving the electric blanket Jason put it under the mattress pad.  Thank You Honey!

I am going to venture downstairs after I get warmer.  Pick out some yarn and a crochet needle.  If that is what the little hooky stick is called.  You can’t thread it so I am not sure if it is called a needle.  Hmm.. I will have to figure that out. 

I am looking forward to that, I just saw on one of the blogs that I follow something simple that she did.  I can do that too!  I am just sure of it!    You can check it out here!  She’s been doing some pretty fun things.

Luka is sacked out here next to me.  His feet are still healing.  We take the wraps off during the day when someone can sit beside him to watch him.  We bandage him up in the evening so we can sleep.  This morning he managed to get one of the bandages off.  So he licked himself more.  He didn’t get to chewing so we are still in the healing process.  So thankful about that.

I have ordered his boots!  They are coming from Canada!  Because he is a Service Dog and we are members of a people who have Service Dogs organization we get a discount! 

They are super nice boots I think.  At least I have heard great things about them.  I am hoping to make him a wrap to wear when we can go out again.  I bought some fleece months ago.  I have yet to get to the project.  I am now wishing I had gotten a different color.  But I will make it work!  I think I will just add stitching and edging in a different color. 

The place I am getting the boots from also has some great coats.  I was tempted, but since I can sew my own.  That will save me some big bucks!  Check out the Boots!  I am getting the fleece lined ones!  In RED!!  Just click Here!

He will look so smart in Husker Red Boots!  I really wanted to order him the pink ones.  But thought better of it.  His jacket will be a chocolate color with red trim I have decided.  That should work out great! 

Something funny, tomorrow I will finally get out of the house.  I have a dental appointment to get my crown seated.  The frustrating part/funny part is that I will finally get out and have others to talk to but won’t be able to because I will have hands in my mouth!  GRRRRR…

Luka isn’t going to make the trip.  Wish he were ready to go but he isn’t.  Jason will just have to escort me.  =)!!! 

So the day has gone well.

I haven’t accomplished much for sure, but I am finally feeling more clear!  YEA!  I had a great talk with an friend from my past, courtesy of Facebook!  I don’t believe we’d have other wise caught up.  We chatted online for a while and then decided to talk on the phone.  We talked for an hour.  That was so nice. 

She’s been through a lot too!  I am glad to know that her life is doing better.  She is a strong gal!  A beautiful one as well.  She does great in all that she does. 

I actually may ask her to guest post here.  I think that might be fun. 

 

Having just read a blog that struck a chord with me.  I thought I might as well share.  Friends of mine have introduced me to the fancy television show called Entourage, I love it too.  Of course, I don’t get the show here.  It is on the fancy pay extra for it television.  Luckily they like to pay for that stuff, and they have one of those recording devices so they can watch the show at their leisure. 

Well another blogger evidently likes the show as well.  Yes folks it is a bit raunchy.  But it is fun, and it takes your mind off of your troubles!  You even get some laughs out of it, which makes it oh so much better!  Read how she uses the show to illustrate: staying in the game, digging up dirt, connecting, loving, and attitude control!  She is so right! 

It gave me a smile and makes me want to see the show more often.  Entertainment at its finest laughing while learning!  Check out the post!

Ok, so life is good.  Tonight has been the best in a long time. 

I get to go to the dentist tomorrow, and see what the world outside of these walls looks like!  I love it! 

BTW, I did start learning to crochet!  Nothing notable I just started. 

Blessings and Better Tomorrow’s,

Prayers and Dreams for a New and Improved Haiti!

Pink Doberman

M&M * &M….mmmmmmmmm

So it is no secret that I have been feeling the effects of winter.  No secret that I am lonely.  Not lonely as in desperately needing.  But wishing for a way to be around more people more often. 

Even if that were possible, and I am sure that anything is with enough persistence and begging..  {SMILE}  This period of my life may be something that I just need to suck up and get used to. 

Although I wish I could hold my head up.  If I could that would make this whole stuck in my home experience more tolerable.  I do quite well when I can bang around and I please. 

Before while on all of the medication I could only lie down, and zone out to the tv.  I would sit up occasionally to be on the computer and to do what work I could, but soon learned that talking to people in a medicated state proved worse for my business relationships that not talking to them at all.

So I stopped talking to people on the phone.  I couldn’t get to many places easily it seemed the more I would try to do then that the worse I would get as well.  I don’t do well taking pain medication.  My mind just doesn’t deal.  It just shuts off and goes to la la ville. 

I don’t mean all high and happy… I mean like zoned out and spaceier that usual.  Which is not good.

I am pretty sure after reading an article on Females with ADD or ADHD… that I have some version of it.  I have always been spacey.  My teachers would write notes to my teachers asking for me to pay better attention in class. 

I was bored and if you would fidget, you were told to sit still, if I would talk I would get detention, so I learned to sit there and just space out.  I then became a perfect student except that I missed entire lessons and then had problems answering questions and taking tests. 

I guess, girls get it and have differences in their behavior than boys.  Now I am not self diagnosing.  I am just remembering and matching up things with this article.  I cope quite well I think.  Considering that I have to work each day to keep myself mentally present to life.

It would probably be easier for me to just go back inside my head and live there.  But I’d much rather have others around me and the interaction that real life brings.  The joys are greater. 

I also know what kind of devastation I would leave in my wake if I just mentally checked out.  I can’t bear to do that to Jason.  Or anyone else.  But he’s the one I would hate to have suffer for me loosing my battle to emotionally cope.  So on I fight.

Don’t get me wrong, I do check out!  I have to.  I go into dreamland, and what had grown to take over days weeks and months, I gained better control over it. 

It still kicks in regularly… the lovely {sarcasm] PTSD.. but I hide it better, I know what it is so I am not freaking out about it any longer.  Acceptance is something that helped me so much. 

I will say that staying busy, staying focused on things that I have control over is the key.  Not having control, can really really mess me up.  If I don’t have control over it I will fight to.  It keeps me safe. 

I see going through this mess over the past almost 6 years, that I don’t have control over my body pains, or all that the accident destroyed.  I do have control over what I do this minute, what I focus on right now.  What my fingers can do or what I can read on the computer. 

I also still have control over many other things.  Those things keep me in check.  Jason suffers for my need to have control.  I think it has gotten better.  But it has also gotten worse. 

He does control more in my life than I used to let him.  Maybe control isn’t the right word, contribute may be a better one.  I don’t ever relinquish when it comes to myself, but I do consider, compromise, contribute, and all of the other things that go along with life. 

I do this better than I used to.  Or at least I believe I do.  I have less to contribute so I try in different ways to make a difference.  When one door closes window opens.  Sometimes you have to move to another room to find the open window. 

I think this is starting to become less and less clear.  I am typing this at two in the morning now, I wasn’t sleepy before.  But I now am.   I don’t recall what I have written, but I will post it in a couple of days anyway.  

It might give some more insight to what I go through that may actually benefit someone else.  That besides keeping Jason up to speed with me is a benefit I hope this blogging does.  At the very least, it does save some time for me in explaining what I am going through or what has happened. 

Blessings, regards, and sleep!  So tomorrow can be a better day! 

Pink Doberman

And as per the title for this post, Jason thanks for the two  big bags of peanut M&M’s I have survived on those for the past 5 plus years when I have my worst days.  Which used to be every day but now is only lots of days…

SiLeNCe…???

Writing these days or rather I should say typing.  I find that it does help to calm me and it does help me to get all of the things out that float around in my head.  Thus making my life and Jason’s more enjoyable.

Of course much of my life is not written here.  I keep many many areas private.  Or at least mostly so with occasional peaks into things that I consider relevant for the day.

How much is private?  How much is public?  I don’t know.  Those who know  me know I will answer pretty much any question put to me.  I really do not have any secrets. 

However, others may not feel the same way, so in keeping with respecting other’s boundaries I work very hard to see that the lines are not disturbed.  Of course where that line lies in my mind and where it may lie in theirs may be in two entirely different spots. 

Jason is very private.  He has been so great about my posts.  I think in particular, because of the insight he finds into what I am going through. 

Things are much easier expressed for me in many cases more clearly at least when the words flow through my finger tips.  I defiantly do not speak as I write. 

My writing is much more eloquent.  I do enjoy speaking, I also know that I am not nearly as good at it as I once was.  That being said, I am not horrible at it either.  This is not a gift.  This is something that was taught to me by my mother and her friend Kay.  Through many years of 4-H and FFA then followed up by Mary Kay mentors.  Of course with anything all of the training in the world would not make you capable.  You must just get out there and do it. 

I have always enjoyed speaking, demonstrating, etc.  It is who I am.  Or who I was taught to be.  I am finding other things to focus on these days, as most of the time with Jason gone, I can go a whole day or longer with out having spoken at all.  That would have been thought impossible for me before. 

Do I like that? No not really.  But keeping my mouth shut and reflecting more.  Noticing what I see and do is also a bonus. 

I do feel sorry for those that come near me just after a long period of having no conversation with a live person.  I can scare the best talkers and listeners off pretty darn quick!

Ahh the joys… 

I guess I just have allot to say. 

Bye for now..

Pink Doberman

WoW… EvEr hAvE ToO MuCh To SaY?

The sun is shining!  That is good.  Jason got a roof rake.  He also explained to me the mechanics behind getting one and how we don’t want our gutters to freeze up, and water to get under the shingles, then flow freely down the inside of the walls. 

Yikes!  I am glad that he knows about these things.  Honestly, in the world we live in today, how can anyone keep up with everything that you need to know. 

Even if you know what needs to be done having the materials to do it, and the skill required or MONEY needed.  OMG!

If I had it to do over again, I’ve been thinking about this regularly if you can imagine…  I’d have wanted to disperse our income out differently. 

Where we are at, well lets just say things are tight.  We’ve had a bit of relief, and sadly that went to the emotional stabilization of Jason.  And some to me.  Should we have done something different?  Possibly.   I can’t say for sure. 

Did we make a good investment?  Right now I’d say so.  Jason while not ecstatic is happier than he’s been in years.  The photography thing has really helped him!  He was headed down the downward spiral of nothingness. 

His love of taking pictures began in high school.  I am sad to say we haven’t really done anything to further his love since we’ve been married.  He would occasionally talk about it, but it really never made it to the top of the list. 

When our friends started getting these cameras several years ago, he would talk about it more and more.  Now almost everyone we know has one of these camera’s or one similar to it. 

A couple of them even know how to actually do some great things with it.  Not that you can’t get great pictures with these camera’s just with the point and shoot method.  Which is the one that I always will use. 

I may fiddle a little, but Jason is so completely into the settings, the lighting, the details behind the shot.  He has got a couple of lenses.  So he has got some learning to do.

He did attend the photography class.  He came home from it excited for sure.  I am glad that he had been fiddling enough with the camera before the class.  He had enough knowledge of the camera itself and knew how to do some things that allowed him to soak in even more I think.

The class wasn’t expensive at all, the more advanced ones do get expensive, but hey, it is all good.  It is so worth it.

This morning I woke up and he was already out taking pictures of the morning frost on the trees.  Which I must say was quite beautiful!

Did he take the best pictures?  I don’t know.  But he was able to let me see how beautiful the snow looked as it floated on the branches of the trees!  I will post one of the shots here. 

 

 

As far as things have been going for myself.  Life hasn’t been that exciting.  My body has totally taken over my life again.  I have been miserable, after the three days of intense pain, now I am exhausted.  I’ve been depressed, I can’t seem to do any moving with out more intense pain setting in.  I can sit here all propped up by pillows, but can only be up for short periods of time.  grrrrr.

Since the snow began, I have hardly left the house.  I don’t know when that was, most days, I don’t even know what day of the week it is.  But it has been a very very long time.

It is lonely.  Jason is only good for a short amount of actual conversation.  I have been on the phone a bit lately, but everyone else is back into the full swings of their lives. 

I am glad that they are!  I would hate for their lives to be like mine.  I usually do quite well entertaining myself.  But since I have been in bed 24/7 again for days and days since pretty much before Christmas… well it is becoming taxing on my emotional state of mind.

I am trying to do something that makes me feel good.  I like creating digital art.  I like taking pictures and making them different.  Giving my personality a little room to flow into the shot. 

Jason is so good at taking nice pictures!  In fact, he has taken lots and lots of great shots!  I have been busy tweeking or brightening or sharpening or just completely editing.  I feel good about creating things.  Makes me happy.

Right now sitting up at the sewing machine or something I think would irritate my neck again.  It got bad after each project I finished.  It was worth it.  But right now I am really feeling the need to get things all calmed down.  The pain has started progressing after three projects and I need it to go back down.  I want off of the pain medications and I want winter to end! 

I look outside right now and dream of sitting out in my nifty lawn chair in the sun.  With sunscreen of course. 

I did get in the mail a new Vickie’s Secret’s catalog!  This issue is the new swimsuit issue!  I am excited about this one.  I actually may make my own swim suit this year!  I need ideas!  A new Seed Saver’s Exchange catalog, this is one that I will actually order from, not that I don’t order occasionally or shop at Vickie’s Secret I do.  But I am stocked up for now I just enjoy looking and circling! 

I love Seed Saver’s Exchange!!!  Just love it!  They provide excellent quality heirloom seeds and some plants.  They are a non profit, and actually BANK seeds in a world seed bank, just in case of a natural or man made disaster.  So what this group does will keep man fed for years to come in the future!  BLESS THEM!  Many many volunteers help out there to make this possible.  They have also branched out into other areas, check it out!

In the mail as well came InStyle magazine.  Yes, I broke down and got myself a subscription.  I was reading this magazine at a couple of places and I fell in love with the issues, so much so I wanted to rip 1/2 of their catalog apart and take it with me.  ( I did not do this ) Thought about it.  But I did get a couple copies!  Then I ordered the magazine.  The first issue I received I was disappointed in.  I hope this one is better.  It is my only paid subscription.  I probably should have ordered a health magazine instead.  But I LOVE FASHION!!   It makes me happy! 

So do clothes and shoes even if the only thing I get to do is look at them.  Which lately has been the case.  EXCEPT for my new shoes and new boots!  I wear them around everywhere!  Even though I go no where!  Hee Hee!!

I especially am loving my DANSKO Professional’s!   They make my joints move easier, who’d have thought?  I hate taking them off!  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Well, for my adjenda today, I plan to read these mail items, walk around in my DANSKO Professional’s, keep in mind, it is already late afternoon.. 

We’ll I did unload the dishwasher that Jason loaded and ran!  Yea!  Jason!!!  I also loaded it.  He can start it.  I fed Luka and let him out, I brushed my teeth and washed my face.  I had kept a MASK on my face since yesterday. 

That is a trick I have learned over the years.  I use the Revitalizing Mask these days, in the summer I may use the Clarifying Mask.  They of course come from the wonderful Mary Kay Cosmetic’s company of which I have been a consultant for for 18 years now.  PHEW!  (So if you need help in this area, I will hook you up, just let me know!)

I use the Mask and personally leave it on on days when I haven’t been able to wash my face much.  Days that I am so miserable, this is something that has gone to the wayside I am afraid.  I hate that, I was always so faithful before.  But this helps, and I don’t break out and my face still feels clean.  (This trick isn’t for everyone, but it does help me!)

Well, since I have only had Jason to speak to lately, besides Luka… He is a little overloaded with the amount of speaking I want to do, or rather would like him to do.  The man of fewer words.. 

He’s done well, I have annoyed him for sure today.  At least he gets a break from my chatter tomorrow. 

I am having quite the interesting conversations with myself.  [SMILE} ….

Ahhhhh…..  I feel better tonight aside from getting all tired out.. and not being up much..  doing great!  I do not feel as lonely as I had before. 

Blessings and Adventures!

Pink Doberman

rEaLiZaTiOn

[Jason when you read this this is not a condemnation.  This is my realization!]

So this morning I woke up to Jason putting a note on my phone.  He was leaving.

He often does this.  This was the first time in ages he had left a note. 

I was quite groggy when he shared he was leaving to get his hair cut.  When I am awake and he shares where he is headed, or talks to me.  It takes me longer than it takes him to process what has just transpired.

I used to be faster. 

At any rate, he can now say what he has to say, and leave while I am processing the information.  He can be all the way downstairs, before I have noticed that he is gone, and that my thought following his has gotten to my lips.

FRUSTRATION!

He is frustrated by the lack of timely response from me.  He says, “ Why couldn’t you have said this while I was upstairs?”  In my mind I think and sometimes I say, “because you LEFT before I was finished.”

It doesn’t make for a good two sided conversation. 

This morning was no exception, except that when I am groggy or medicated or hurting, it takes me even longer! 

Once he gets something in his mind he wants to go do it right away!  Not wait for a list of things that I have that need to be done when he is headed off in the right direction. 

For example, this morning I needed him to proof some pictures I have put in a document.  For our New Years greeting that we will send to family and friends.  I want him to check them out before I send them to Kinko’s to be printed.  Where he will need to pick them up.

Kinko’s is great!  I can send them a document online via the internet.  They will have it printed and ready by the time I specify, and Jason can pick these things up when he is scheduled to be in the area!  It is fabulous.

Doing this takes coordination on our parts..

Yes, I could just print it and he’d have to live with it.  I suppose I could.  But I like getting his opinion, and if he comments on something that needs change, it is usually something I wouldn’t have thought of and is worth considering.

His opinion matters.

So, I also have a need for getting back and forth to therapy.  Since money is tight, I have opted not to make any appointments.  I am doing what I can at home of course.  But I was gradually improving with the PT and now I know I am not. 

It would have been great to say, lets do that on Tuesday when you are free again, and I can get therapy and you will have something to do while you are waiting for me.

Then I remembered, I will have to also be responsible to pay the copay required by our insurance for the year out of our pockets. 

We don’t have the money to pay for that right now.  So, I guess no point in bringing that up either.

Grrrr.

So I guess why I am writing this, is a realization of fact.

It is a fact that Jason likes to do things spur of the moment.  It is also a fact, that I never have my “shit” together enough to just be ready at the moment he is spontaneous. 

Are we alone in this?

I really don’t think so.  I think that many other couples are very similar.

Jason and I seem to be polar opposites in most things.  In fact when we do agree on something we instantly agree to get it.  It may not be either of our FAVORITES but since we both like it it now has become OUR FAVORITE! 

We work things out.

Today, in my infinite wisdom…  NOT!  I opted to just call and ask Jason if the salon he was headed to was open on this Sunday morning.  He had checked and it was. 

Wow! He was set.  I chose not to mention all of the other things that had popped into my mind including the fact that he hadn’t had breakfast, and my desire for him to actually ask her to give him a hair style, not a buzz cut.  In addition the area in which he goes to get his hair cut has a new crafting place, I have been dying to check out, it hasn’t ever worked for me to get there.

How my mind works if we are making a trip to the city?

What all needs to be done on this trip? 

1. Hair cut

2. PT or MT or Dr or other medical need

3. Kinko’s

4. Deliver Dad’s Christmas present to UPS

5. Deliver friends Christmas presents

6. etc.. well you get the picture

It is enough to drive my husband mad!  He deals with my lists most days.  Today he is getting a vacation!

After all it is his head, his hair, it isn’t mine.  I want him to be comfortable. 

He has been like this well, since I can remember.  I shouldn’t expect him to change.  I should just change.  I am trying to.  I can’t control what he thinks or does.  I can’t control what anyone thinks or does.  THANK GOD FOR THAT! 

This is my Sunday morning revelation!  This morning while having known these things to be true about him.  I chose to keep my mouth shut!  YipEE for me!  Now Jason will be out having a much better day. 

My things don’t have to be done today anyway, my letter was supposed to be ready by Thanksgiving, at least in my mind. 

We’ll I have taken my pain meds, I have started with my cleanse for the day, I will soon be getting breakfast, and guess what?

He let Luka out before he left!  How awesome is that!  (He doesn’t often think of this before leaving either!  He is changing too!) 

I am not sure how I will handle things differently for each situation in the future, or for that matter, if I will.  I just did today, that is all that I can control.  What I do right now!

Ahhhhh it feels good to know he is doing his thing.

I am back typing propped up in bed.  Now where is my Isagenix breakfast shake?  Now if only these meds would kick in so I don’t get any worse. 

GiVeAwAy'S oN My FaVoRiTeS!!!

Hi all,
As a part of my New Year’s Mission to share things with you that I love… I will be sharing some of my favorite blogs!
Oh, and BTW.. here are some that are having some giveaway’s!!!  I love giveaway’s and I love these blogs!  Be sure to visit them now, as their giveaway’s have time limits!
So this blog is a fun and funky blog.  She has a variety of subjects regarding things that can be made!  She even talks about her cat once a week! 
Another blog that I like follows my blog as well, she has a blog that talks about her journey, and the creative things she is doing!  She is also doing a great give away!  She is sharing a knitting book!  YippE!!  That is on my list of things to learn to do!! 
Be sure to get registered in time to get entered into the drawings!  They are sure to be sharing some pretty nifty stuff!
So since I have been neglecting on reading the pages of my favorite blogs for a while.  Neglecting… Not feeling up to it and too busy for sure when I have… well, I am going to make this post quite short and go do just that! 
I am back to blog land people!.. Me and the pears that Jason has so graciously cut up for me and he to split…  I better get eating!  Craig Ferguson is on!  Yipee!
Happy Winning!
Pink Doberman

cOmPleTeD

Finished!  One project finished!  Phew!!  I just have to get it packed up and Jason will get it mailed out tomorrow.  It feels good to have that done! 

Jason helped me out with the project too, that is always nice when he does that.  I appreciate his input.  I wish I could share it with you now, but I can’t. 

I may be picking up another project in a bit as well.  This one is to make a pattern for a dog pack.  One of my Service Dog friends is needing something different than she can find or afford.  I understand that for sure!  The packs especially the nice ones that work well are SUPER expensive.  I hate that. 

In fact Jason and I often comment that everything that we want or need is always at least $100.  THAT PEOPLE IS ALLOT OF MONEY!  Especially when you have to spend it on something that breaks!  Grrrrr…

I wouldn’t mind if it could be guaranteed to perform for a great length of time… but electronics especially make me frustrated.  Things for animals are getting to be just as bad. 

I am going to make some more things eventually.  My sister when her family drove through the other day left me bunches of stuff I could use.  Although to Jason all of this stuff is like I am filling up the house with Styrofoam peanuts that have no use or value…  he thinks I am a trash collector. 

I probably am, but one persons trash is another’s treasure.  I like making treasures!  I hate that everything ends up in a land fill.  It is so frustrating.  If I had the energy I would adjust and reuse so many other things too. 

Ahh… one thing at a time.  At least that is what I tell myself.

I have also been in the process of using up all of the bottles of lotion I have been collecting over the years.  My skin this winter is finally dry enough to be driving me out of my skin!

I have had years of teaching others how to care for their dry spots, so I am not using all of my techniques tips and tricks for myself!  I love it!  I am not suffering at all now, and my lotion collection is finally starting to dwindle!  Yea!

That feels wonderful!  Years before I would only use lotion a few times a year, but I collected it like I used it everyday.  Now I am using it two times a day and I am feeling wonderful!  I smell pretty great too!

With the new year more people are committing to change their lives!  I am as well, although mine is not a resolution.  I don’t make those.  I just set goals.  So my latest one and I have yet to start it completely is the gluten free thing. 

What I have done though is set myself up to succeed.  At least I am in the process of it.  When Jason eats at home he will be eating gluten free as well.  He doesn’t eat her that often so he really won’t notice much of a difference. 

We are eating all of the wheat filled things in the cupboard yet.  I am not planning to make up all of the desert mixes.  I will save those for events that I go to until they are gone. 

We are though finishing up all of the things like wheat pasta, mac and cheese and other things that I have been weeding out as they are just not things that we should be eating anyway. 

In fact I ate mac and cheese, an all time favorite comfort food of mine.  I was miserable so thought it would be a good day to have it, that it might make me feel all warm and fuzzy…  NOPE….

I think the last box may end up being donated.  As for the first time in my life I didn’t even really want it.  SO WIERD!  I guess I am changing!

So the food pantry will be getting that box!  Someone will love it!  I will probably toss in a few other wheaty things to join it on the trip a whole two blocks away! 

For now it is time to go.  I have fingers and arms that are cramping up.  I have worked through it so far, but I am afraid, the serious pain is starting to set in and I will have to set and stretch out my flanges for the night and let them rest.

Good Night All, one down and more to go!

Pink Doberman

 

 

Dry weather brings dry skin!  One of the things that is the most important to personal comfort is keeping your skin in good order

HaRd DaY & HiS cLaSs…

Depressing… so skip the top part if you don’t want to read.. It gets better below….

Today, I must have struggled.  Some days are harder than others.  I guess things cycle.  I get tired and my plans seem to go down the drain.  I wish that wasn’t the case. 

Procrastination can really kick in on those days too.  By the time I am actually having some energy or the pain has dissipated… I am so mentally miserable having thought of all I haven’t accomplished that I must force myself to follow through and do what is needed.  I hate this part. 

I know that everything in life does not revolve around fun.  I am not delusional.  I just wish that some things weren’t so hard.  Staying happy being one of them.  Staying focused on what needs done in the order that it needs done.  Many times I am thinking clearly enough to do the worst first.  Other times, like today the fog set in and life seems to go in a hodge podge of orders. 

Clearly not the type of day anyone wants to have.  I wish these days would go away.  When will it stop?  I wonder. 

I some days it seems impossible to push through, but I do.  I do not know how I do.  I always have really worked hard to do things my best. 

Days like this.  It seems a miracle that what ever I did got done.  It might be only the basics. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~ So in writing this last night I must have been getting the beginning of my weather induced pain issues..

I ended up sleeping most of the day.  The medication is finally helping.  It is now getting dark grrr.  I’ve had lots to do that I didn’t get done.  I still can’t really function which is why I chose to write again. 

I did manage to get the packages I needed to send out.  All but two of them anyway.  Jason will take the rest of them tomorrow. 

I am glad Jason just kept busy doing his thing today, he got some new long johns!  He received a recommendation to go to here to get them!  He loves that place anyway.  I was awake when he got home with them.  He had a smile on his face.  We had looked for them at the store where I got my socks.  The store was very picked over, and they were completely out of Insulating Pants.  Bummer!. ..  He’s been getting pretty cold at work these days.

He has one pair of them from before, I think he’s had these the entire time we’ve been married.  I’d had mine that long too.  They last forever!  Yea! 

The one’s that he ended up getting he put on right away!  I never knew but the one’s he’s had our entire marriage, ended at his calves.  These slid on effortlessly, and were soft and feel like a second skin like my Cuddle Duds. 

He was excited!!!  The best part from his perspective besides the feel of them was the fact they were actually long enough to cover his legs!  Woot!  Thank goodness for friends!  We’ve been hooked up again! 

That is one of the reason’s I have decided to start sharing about my favorite things!  We are benefiting from others sharing things that really work for them. 

Now the down side of the purchase they were more than double the price at the other store.  Upside. They should last a long time and he will be really happy with them.  He may need to get another pair eventually, but we’ve got some other things he needs as well on our list so laundry will have to be done regularly.  Nothing wrong with that! 

Tonight he is attending a class to learn to better utilize his camera!  It is an investment for him.  He is learning the basics.  He’s read the book or parts of it at least.  I enrolled him in a class to learn the first steps to using his camera.  I have a feeling the class may bore him a bit. 

Life experience being what it is, sometimes if you don’t start at the very beginning thinking you could skip that part, then when you move forward to greater experiences, they sometimes do not translate as well.  You feel behind, or you do not get to take advantage of the knowledge being offered as you have missed something very basic along the way.

Besides hands on learning does provide another method for delivering information.  Books may not answer all of your questions or provide you with actual real world learning experiences.  I think it will be helpful for him to ask questions and get answers from experts in the photo industry who are willing to share their skills and knowledge. 

It is good that Jason does have other friends with the same camera or similar ones!  I think this line of camera’s is the most popular with those we know.  We only know one other person who has a different brand.  She of course loves that brand.  Differences are good.  So are similarities.  Both can be learned from and both are respected. 

So maybe he will also be able to help out friends if they have a question after this simple class.  At the very least he will know what someone is talking about when they talk about something that can be done. 

I hope he comes home from this class happy that I registered him for it and happy that he went.  He really didn’t want to go.  I don’t know that it was so much that he wasn’t interested.  I think it was more of the fact he hasn’t really been home in days.  Then that we are expecting more snow, and I haven’t been well and it is colder than our freezers are set for outside.  Well, hopefully it will all be worth it. 

It would be great to have him get back home all charged up about what he learned!  He will have more things to try out, more things he will be wanting to do, and more things that he will be better at. 

He listens well and he will also benefit from the questions that others are asking.  Since the class is being taught at a camera shop well, I am sure he will come away with a list of things that would help him get the pictures he is aching to take.  The question will be whether or not we can afford it.  Ahhh the joys! 

It is good to have dreams!

Right now it makes me happy thinking of him being happy! 

It is now several hours past when I woke up.  It is supper time and I am able to sit up on my own, phew!  I made some food for Luka and will finish writing this before I move on to write some explanations for some art that I have done for a project. 

I had planned to have them mailed out today, but they will have to go out tomorrow.  After I get results back I will share my ideas.  At least the one’s that didn’t get chosen.  That may be all that I did… but I did have fun doing it, so either way it will have been worth it.  I am happy with what I have done.  I hadn’t drawn for about 20 years.  So it was good for me to sit down and do. 

It was fun and I enjoyed coming up with a variety of ideas.  Personally I am impressed with the diversity of styles that I have come up with.  I can’t wait to share them.  I will probably turn some of them or variations of them into digital art if they don’t get used. 

So Jason just called!  He is excited, he shared wow, have I got allot to learn!  He did know some of what was taught but is excited for sure!  He is glad that he went!..  He will be home soon!  That is awesome!  I am so excited for him.  Now I will have to get him enrolled for the intermediate class!  Or the lighting class… Or ..?? there are so many to choose from!  He’s going to be having some fun! 

This series of the same thing is fun!  He’s sure been surprising me when he loads the pictures for me to see. 

He usually goes out while I am still asleep or when I am not feeling well and am out of it.  Sometimes we go together but most of the time it gives him something fun to do on his own.  That is so nice, knowing that he is doing something that he is enjoying, and he is learning and developing his skills!!

 

He has been having some fun experimenting.  Note there is no snow in these pictures… So they were taken a while ago, but he is learning!  I love seeing what he comes up with!  Even if his ideas didn’t work! 

I have even been inspired to try some simple things.  The big blotches of snow were a neat surprise!  He worked so hard that day scooping snow.  I love this picture, it won’t win any awards for sure, but I do love it!  It made me giggle with glee when I saw the little snow dots appear!  How fun, natures confetti! 

ThUmB SpRiNg…gReEn

I am planning my garden right now.  In planning my garden I am also planning my garden party!  Since I am here all of the time or most of it…  I am having parties here!  Something for me to look forward to. 

Jason has been great about it, as he isn’t the party type of guy usually.  Before, all I used to do was go to parties, granted they were makeup parties, but hey!  They were fun, there were people there and I was helping them! 

It was wonderful.  So now, I had neighbors over on New Years, (that was even their idea not mine) so how fun is that? 

It has been great, I am getting some nice surprise visitors and also some fun planned ones as well. 

Gardening is something to look forward to that is for sure!  Jason is even looking forward to doing more with it!  Which is so nice for me.  Hopefully he will find it fun and relaxing as well.  He in the past has got the garden tilled and ready to go, but has left it up to me to plant and care for it as well as pick things.  I find those things quite hard to do.  Worth doing for what you get, and it is fun at times too when the pain doesn’t get in the way.  But I had a hard time for sure doing it last year. 

With my dietary needs and with Luka’s as well, a garden is a necessity not an option.  It is the only way to reasonably afford the food we need.  I just have to focus on making enough of it grow. 

With Jason’s revelation the other day of him wanting to have more to do with the garden as he had heard it was a good way to relieve stress, my excitement grew.  I have often thought how fun it would be to actually have him more involved in something like that.  He does always help when I need it, but only if I really need it.  Most often only if I am asking for it. 

So his winter enthusiasm for the project I hope will last until the fall of twenty ten.  I hope he finds the stress relief in the tedious actions of gardening.  The fulfillment of having completed something, having made something, watched it grow and in gleaning the reward of the effort finding pride in knowing that it wouldn’t have been as successful without his participation.

I can’t wait!  Not sure he feels the same but the sentiment he shared goes a long way with me!

Blessings and green thumb thinking!!

Pink Doberman

sHoEs – bOoTs – sOcKs…

So after my busy day yesterday, my body was grateful to wake up today and not be headed out.  I was sore.  Not unbelievably so but enough to make it a more relaxed day around here. 

Things have kept me busy, which is nice.  I have more and more to do.  I like that.  I really need to finish up some projects so I feel like I have completed some things though.  I have tons of unfinished things that I am working on.  So I won’t be adding much of anything unless it happens to fall with Jason’s photography or finishing other things I have already started.

I hope to have a few things finished up tomorrow.  Getting some orders sent out to some great gals, and finishing up a design set for a contest I will be submitting tomorrow. 

Yesterday was nice, I was able to finally get some socks to wear, I had been needing some more especially since it is so cold.  I am up wearing shoes and socks so much more now, so that is good.  Before the accident the few socks I did have sufficed.  I wore nylons everyday for work.  Skirts high heels, and nylons, I had piles of them.   Now it is sneakers, boots, and comfy shoes for me.  I’ve really been needing some more socks.  I got three pairs last year.  That had helped, and when I run out I do raid Jason’s stash…  But his all are so big!

I now have more of my own!  Yea!  I also got a nice soft pair of Cuddle Duds!  I used to have a pair but they are huge and don’t stay up and so I’ve had to rehome those.

So I am set!  Thanks go Christmas and Birthday gifts I also got some great shoes too!  I so needed them!  I  was hoping to have pictures to share.  I do of two pairs of the shoes but the third they haven’t been captured yet.

Great friends hooked me up!  I had tried them on while visiting.  I didn’t want to take them off.  My hips hurt less with them on my feet than when they are off.  Thank God!  I guess surgeon’s wear these, nurses and doctors do too!  Virtually anyone who stands around enjoys having them hold their arches up! 

What are these shoes you ask???   DANSKO shoes!  I am in LOVE!  How do you find them??  You can find them Here!  Or you can find more about them at their company site too!  Here!  OooLaLa!  And no I wish I’d gotten something free to plug them, ok well I did get them as a gift, but not from the company!   So hugs to the B’s for my D’s!!  The ones she chose for me go with everything!  Rumor has it she may even get a matching pair!!  How fun is that!  Of course if she doesn’t we could always switch around since we do wear the same size!! 

My favorites happen to be the Professional style, they seem to have a wider base and great support.  I prefer them over the other style I tried on that she had!

Check them out here!!

And here!!

And here!

Can you tell I am in love with them?  I hope so!  They do feel really really great, and for comfy shoes, well they are as cute as can be!  YipEE!!

Photo’s taken by Jason of course!!  Yea!

Moving on to another favorite pair.  This is the pair of boots that Jason was hoping for me to get.  He has wanted me to get some good snow boots.  We’ll he did get me a pair of boots, sort of… I picked them out, thinking they would be both comfortable and great in the snow. 

I’d been hoping to find some brown boots, but well, I couldn’t find any that were in my price range that I thought would also be comfortable. 

I ended up getting a black pair… Problem… they weren’t exactly warm, they were non insulated.. I got them off the internet… I figured more socks… well, that meant I needed to get more socks…  Hey, it is all happens in time, RIGHT?

Well as life unfolded… 

when my family came to give me a surprise birthday party, the gift they brought me was a lovely pair of boots!  Lined with fur type stuff.  They are what my niece calls Fuggs!  Fake Uggs!  I love them! 

As luck turned out she got a pair too!  Fun!  Here are our legs in our Fuggs!! 

My family did such a great job, when I pulled them out of the box… Jason exclaimed, “ THATS THE KIND OF BOOTS THAT WILL KEEP YOU WARM.”  That is so wonderful!!  They read his mind!  How cool is that! 

So now I have a black pair of boots a warm pair of boots and a wonderful pair of shoes to wear anywhere!  With some socks to go inside as well!  Life is good, my feet are starting to feel happy again!

Now to make Luka’s feet happy!  I am ordering a pair of Fleece Lined Boots for his feet as well.  As it stands, he is still healing.  At least he is healing!  So in preparation for having him out in this snow.  He will be needing some good boots.  I can’t have his feet getting all wrecked again.  Ouch, that is no good for sure!  I will be ordering from Here!  As a bonus they give discounts to people who have dogs like mine!  I am so grateful for their caring.  Otherwise I would have a much harder time affording these for him. 

I will show them to you when I get them.  I plan to order him blue ones or black ones.. I want to order him pink ones to match the leash I use with him, but I guess that would be over the top!  Since he is a boy after all…  Maybe red.. Hmm. I am going to have to think about this… 

Too many details!

Blessings and Warmth,

Pink Doberman

TwEnTy TeN!!!

Keeping busy.  The start of Twenty Ten brings hope for me.  I have been working on being more steady.  More regular at what I can do. 

Examining what I am capable of and when.  In my life I have done many things.  More I suppose than almost everyone my age.  The diversity of my background, skills, talents and experience is quite broad.  Having been in 4-H as a child, having grown up on a farm, enrolling in agriculture classes, music classes, and art classes… I definitely have broader interests than most.

At the same time running three businesses of my own, one of them being an international business brought a whole new gamete of possibilities for my future.  I enjoy all that I know, and all that I have done. 

Many things I will never do again, and would aspire to never do them again, such as working cattle, or taking care of livestock in the winter.  Other things I enjoyed for sure.

These days have been spent thinking of where I can go from here.  I am not reliable health wise.  But working around that, there are plenty of things I can do.  But what…

Even when medicated I am able to write, and edit photos or create digital art on the computer.  I haven’t ever been taught any of these things, I have just been making it up as I go.  I guess the more you do of these things, trial and error wise, the more you learn and can eventually do.

Now in my other areas, I can not do math dependably medicated.  I can not drive medicated, or in pain for that matter.  So anything that involves those two things needs to be forgotten about for now. 

So, with Jason taking more and more pictures.  Most of them still of me, although we are getting more and more willing photo victims lined up! 

Jason has already photographed a family of 4 children, and another family of all grown boys.  I think the 4 little children may have been easier than capturing the grumpy grown boys…  MEN.. geesh! 

He also is making a list of others who have mentioned that they want him to do their pictures too!  FANTASTIC!

I can help with the pictures, that is fun for me.  I  used to help with wedding photo’s all of the time with my business.  After the accident I wasn’t reliable enough to do it any longer.  Brides are kind of picky about people not following through..

So this is giving me another avenue of doing what I used to do, but in a different way.  More fulfilling actually, since I get to do it with Jason, and it is developing his skills as a photographer as well as doing something special for others.

Right now he isn’t doing this for a business.  We have quite the interesting set up, it is working but the real stuff would work simpler and better.  He is taking pictures of everyone for FREE!  Yea!  For practice, and hopefully some of these folks will even let their pictures be shown in his portfolio.  It is always good to ask permission, some people are funny about their picture being shown off… and we want them to be happy of course.

Eventually Jason would like to turn this hobby into a business.  How this will work, we aren’t exactly sure, but since I can do most of the things related to this even while medicated it should work well.  And all of our photo victims know what is going on with me health wise and are very understanding which is also wonderful.

So if you’d like to get your picture taken, let us know!  He will take pictures, then I will do some photo art to the pictures, and we will give you a CD that you can take and get pictures printed from to share with your family and friends. 

Yea!  Good experience for us, and hopefully fun for you!

 

So that has been one of the projects we’ve been working on lately.  It is something that I found a long time ago that I was good at.  It is something for Jason and I to actually work together.  I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut and letting him do his thing..  He has a hard time letting me do my thing sometimes too… but he is so much more patient than I am.   Thank goodness!

I will start posting more pictures soon I promise.  I am just not quite ready to yet. 

He has been practicing taking pictures of me.  Most of the time when I am feeling well and ready to “perform” for the camera, sit still and look cute…  I do manage to get quite a few sour expressions as well…   I am getting better at posing too, which I hope will help me set other people up for their poses. 

I will probably share a few of me at lesser moments too, it is only fair to share the whole realistic experience.  I need my Mary Kay, let’s just be clear about that!  With out it and with out my feeling my best I don’t look very fun to take pictures of.  Thank goodness for all of my makeup experience!  It is really coming in handy.

Oh, that is something fun too!  We can do your makeup before you get shot too!  I have yet to do that, or tell anyone about that option.  I have just been wanting to make it through the shoots with Jason.  As he improves setting people up for their pictures, I will do more of the pre stuff.  I get pretty tired doing these things so I definitely have to pace myself so I do not end up in bed for weeks…

Well, that’s what I am excited about these days, well, that and a whole lot more.  I can’t stand being bored.  If I must be “locked” inside our house for the winter, I will at least be doing what I can to stay occupied. 

This is my best winter so far since the accident!  YEA!  I am learning how to live with my new problems.  Hopefully I will keep improving!  Gotta keep working at it that is for sure!

Happy Twenty Ten!  I have some hope again! 

Blessings,

Tonja