Monday, March 15, 2010

aBiLiTy

When I started this blog originally, years ago, it was for the gals that I serviced through my Mary Kay business.  Just some things to let them know why I was not coming around those days.  I was not really going anywhere except to the Doctors.

I can say that these days while I am not really out gallivanting around at all.. but I do go out more for other things, or at least I try to be able to.. and as I did and do I get questions from strangers and questions from those who'd known me from before.  I just as well have been strangers to them all.  As no one really knew what happened with me.  Some people thought I'd just moved, or other things.

It is nice to know I was not the subject of gossip around town.  =)!  While I don't mind answering questions at all, I just get so dang tired when I go out and some days I have the energy to spend standing and chatting, other days I really don't.  I need to get done what I need and get myself back home to rest.

So, figuring out how to share my story, became a little more important for me.  I soon learned about a friend who wrote a blog.  I started checking hers out.  Actually she has a couple of them.  I really did not have much more experience with them than that.

Somehow when I started, it was scary for me to put this out there "publicly".  But then the more I learned and experienced, my fear never really disappeared I guess the reason for doing it just got stronger. I have learned of so many others who have or are going through the same things as I am.

These people are struggling just as I am.  Not only with the physical or emotional issues associated with their health, but with people's attitude toward them.

Every person has the ability to be judgmental or assume.  I do.  Stereotypes and preconceived notions play a large part in peoples lives.  They use these things to help them feel safe, superior, or comfortable with where they are at in their lives. 

I have to say I have always been a person who really did try to treat everyone the same.  I said tried.  Because I am sure I failed on that in many occasions.  I probably will continue to fail, but I will also keep on trying.

So I am writing this to help give another perspective to those who go about their daily lives thinking of themselves and where they are at personally.  Or for those who don't really know anyone with difficulties.  Or to help them understand what someone whom they know is going through but can not put it into words.

I know I am still finding the words to describe what I am feeling and going through.  It is hard.  It is hard to be honest with myself too.  I understand more clearly than I ever did before how many people of the past must have felt when they were discriminated against or treated differently because of something that they had no control over.  I am grateful for all they did to make life easier on me today!  While there is more to be done... LB 858    I am still grateful.

I have always had friends who had differing abilities.  Some used wheel chairs to get around, others could get around without aid but often fell, some had speech differences, others had mental differences.  I have always believed they were here for a reason just as I was.  No different, just different reasons.

I was their friend, still am!  But I thought about it and realized it would have really helped me to understand their perspective as well.  I understood, but I didn't.  I realized this one time when I had broke my foot years back.  I was on crutches and at times a wheel chair.  The difficulties I personally experienced using a wheel chair in public were life altering.  ( I won't go into those now, but I do encourage you to borrow a simple chair, and for three days try and go everywhere in it.  See how easy that is.)
During my time in the chair Jason pushed me around like a champ!  Yeah, I was a weenie after having been on crutches hoping around.. pushing those wheels was impossible.  My arms were like jelly!

In addition to being in a chair, you often become invisible.  Kids are taught not to stare.. and then they turn into adults who do not even acknowledge your presence.  So weird.  There is a difference between not staring at someone and saying hi with your eyes.  Give it a try, even for just a little bit.  Use one of those carts at a large store or mall, and do your shopping from that.  (Please do not take the last cart, but do give it a try, for experiments sake)

Do your part in changing how you respond. You never know if someday that will be you sitting in the chair without a choice.  AND Yes, there are even grumpy and unhappy people with differing abilities.. some are nice and some aren't.  I know!  They truly are just like everyone else.  Give them the same chance!

Oddly enough with Luka I am not ignored... without him I am while in a chair.  With him I am not.. or rather he is not.. It is so weird.  The Service Dog changes the equation.  I am alright with that.  It is a built in safety feature for me.  One I will gladly accept.  One day I may explain my theory further however at this time I am not ready to do so.
 
(Since child hood I have walked around with my eyes shut around my house.  I am pretty good at it.  I wanted to realize how it felt to be blind.)  Occasionally while having migraines, this has helped me cope.
 
Give yourself a different ability (disability) just for a few days.  See how that works for you.
I guess that is my challenge to you for today.   Please share your experience with me!

So I guess with this blog I am hoping to spread some understanding along with giving myself some therapy so I can work out my difficulties.  I am learning along with this as well.  I don't have all of the answers.  I am learning right along with everyone else.  I am just out here trying to be the best me I can be.

I think so many of us are in that place.  I always have believed that I was put on this earth for a reason.  For a long time I had no understanding of what that reason was.  For the years prior to the accident, I had found my calling.  I was here to help others be the best they can be.  In order to do that I also had to push myself to be the best I could be as well. 

I guess it is still true.  I feel my best while helping others.  So that is why I am continuing on with my blog.  Why I feel such an overwhelming desire to type these words. 

I am not a writer.  I am not good with grammar or spelling.  I am just one person.  I am not extra ordinary, I am just real.  I am trying to make it through my life as gracefully as possible, and have a positive impact on others while I do this.

Blessings,
Pink Doberman

2 comments:

stipeygirl75 said...

Thank you for your postings. I agree we are each put here for different reasons. The friends I've had who have disabilities are. . .for lack of a better way to say it. . the most beautiful souls. I've never had more caring and compassionate friends! A lot of "normal" people spend their lives chasing material things and competing with each other while disabled people seem to be close to the true meaning of life which is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. . .Don't mean to preach but that's just what I have observed over the years :) Seems like they are generally smarter, more patient, innovative and grateful for the things they DO have! We can learn a lot from them. Hugs, - Sarah

~Pink~Doberman~ said...

Everyone it seems is on a different path. Of course if we were all on the same one, WoW would that path be crowded!

But I am finding that I appreciate the little things so much more, now that my life is on the slow speed.

Blessings! Tonja