I've been pretty upset today. Really I have been having a hard time of it period. But what does not kill you will make you stronger. At least that is what I am told.
I feel like I am climbing out of my skin. And no it is not the medication talking. I haven't taken any. YET. I think it is about time no matter what the tummy complications. Hopefully one pill will take the edge off and not make my stomach nuts.
After talking with Jason tonight I feel lots better. I am so frustrated and angry. I know I don't make things easy for him at all. I have been a mess. He has helped me figure out what to do. I really don't know what I would do without him. While he does not have the patience of a saint in general, he sure does with me. For that I am grateful. I know I am a handful.
So you may have gathered the Dr. appointment has not gone as I had hoped. Not that it went bad. I had a plan in my mind. As much as I like change somethings in my life at least right now.. I feel... If it ain't broke don't fix it! If it is broke do what you know works.
If it does not work look for other options. So today I got two different suggestions of which I am both open to.. One of them I will be willing to try for sure! Too bad the pharmacy did not have the newest pain relief product that my Dr. has prescribed. Tomorrow, so today I am taking the tummy upsetting stuff. Ugg. Just one. Lets just see how it goes.
So he is out and about working one of his extra jobs. He Teaches Super Man Classes on the side among other things. (I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you..) Ha Ha!! No, well, let's just say he is smart about lots of interesting things most of which involve well, not happy stuff. He is off teaching people how to save the world. YipEE!
At the same time he is making money that makes it possible for us to eat! I just love eating!
He is my Super Man! That is for sure.
I think the medication is helping. I still hurt but I really do not feel as crazy. I think the real medicine I needed for the "crazy" was Jason. =D
I found this other blog recently. It is about how couples survive through disabling issues. This is definitely an area that there is no guidance in and no Dr. to help you with it. Most marriages do not survive this. I can totally see why.
If you were the one being disabled you have an immense amount of guilt. If you are the one left abled, you also have a tremendous amount of guilt. Both of which should be left out of the marriage. I'd say we are not uncommon. We both carry the guilt. In both cases it is unfounded. You realize it of course mentally, but emotionally it can eat you alive!
I suppose no matter what problems your marriage is facing the little things are what matter. I am not putting myself out here as any sort of expert. I am not that. I don't even think my marriage is bullet proof. But it is something I want. Not because I NEED someone. But because I WANT my best friend, and I want to be his best friend too. I want to do what I can to not be a bigger burden than I am.
I want to be fun, interesting, a good listener.... I am sure this blog will share more ideas as well.. at least it will give me some understanding to what we are both going through and how to handle it.
Making any partnership work takes effort. Mine is worth the effort.
I hope yours is too!