Thursday, June 10, 2010

Right vs. Easy

As crazy sad or simple as it sounds, I have a line on a power chair.  The kind of chair that will support my head while sitting.  The idea has crossed my mind that a chair like this could give me some degree of my freedom back. 

I cannot use a manual chair.  At least not by myself.  My shoulder joints just can't take it.  Those scooter things well none of them seem to have high enough backs to support my head.  (Like the car that my Father lets us borrow for me to drive)  Besides sitting straight up and down hurts.  This type of chair tilts back or at least it looks as if it does. 

I don't want to have this chair to sit in all of the time.  But more to use like a car.  To get me somewhere so I can get up out of it walk inside do my business and then go back out to my car and go home.  These past three days have reiterated the fact that there are times where my body just can't be moving about on its own.  My mind would like to be.  But I am confined to my bed.  How is that different from being confined to a wheel chair?  I see the chair as more liberating.  I do not want to end up in a chair, but for now if all I can do on some days is get around with it outside of the house, then why not? 

I am going to see what I can do to get myself a chair.  One of the other bloggers (Kerrilynn) I know like me is getting one.  So hopefully this will be something I can use to give myself a better quality of life!  This is the dream chair that she is getting!  WOW   Reading her post was not the reason I started thinking this direction but it was conformation that possibilities do exist for me outside of my bedroom on my crummy days!

Read this Blog Post about DeathWalking.  This girl tells it like it is!  I love that!  ( she is a little R rated just an FYI ;)  ) I want to be walking as much as possible!  I just don't want to be stuck in my bedroom when I am not able to be up moving around much!

I dream of getting myself to the park so I can go for a walk!!
I dream of getting myself downtown so I can go to the bank and post office as I please!
I dream of being able to get my own prescriptions any time I want!
I dream of being able to get to the nursing home to visit my neighbor!
I dream of taking my Service Dog Luka out more often!
I dream of going to the grocery store with out fear that I can get myself home!

How fun would it be to go out downtown when events are going on? 

Some hours are good for me some hours are difficult, some days are good some days are difficult... I don't know when they will appear or disappear.

Breathe In, Breathe Out!  I am going to get through this! 

I do not want a power chair a wheel chair or any other kind of chair.  But I hate being confined and I hate not being able to participate in life.  Maybe something like this will open up more possibilities for me.  It is worth trying. 

I dream of lots of things!

I hope you do too! Mostly I dream of a strong body that does not hurt.  Along with people who do what is right instead of what is easy.

I am thankful I can walk!  I am thankful I can complain!  I am thankful for those of you who are still in my life, because a certain portion of my former life now that I have nothing they want could just as soon see me walk off a bridge.  Someday I am sure those people will hit reality square in the face not that I would wish that upon anyone.  I am mad, but I am still dreaming!  I am still going to try to do the right thing although it is not easy! 

I hope we all get our dreams to come true soon!

Pink Doberman

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